Page 66 of Every Star that Shines

“Yeah. I mean, no, of course not. But that would have been romantic, right?” He gave her a crooked grin, and she almost relented. Almost.

To cover her discomfiture, she stepped back, crossing her arms and arching a brow.

When she said nothing, he cleared his throat and shuffled his feet. “Right. Well, I do have something more to say, actually.”

“I’m listening.”

He rubbed his eyes, and she saw the weariness in his shoulders. Whatever he wanted to say must have been pretty important for him to drive all this way to say it. She relaxed a little, and even let her heart hope. Had he come to apologize? Had he changed his mind about moving?

“Do you remember Maisie’s puppies?” he said.

She blinked. “Maisie . . . your old dog?” Why was he talking about the dog he’d had as a teenager?

“Yeah, her. Do you remember what happened to her?”

Now that he mentioned it . . . “Didn’t she get hit by a car when her puppies were only a few weeks old?”

“Yeah. Dad didn’t think they would make it. But Rachel, Abigail, and I took turns getting up to hand-feed them through the night for weeks. Mom looked after them during the day while we were at school. And they all did just fine, except one little runt.” He paused, his gaze looking back in time.

Delanie frowned. “Why are we talking about this?”

He focused on her. “I wouldn’t give up on the runt, even after everyone else said I should. I went on the Internet and tried to figure out what was wrong with him. Dad wouldn’t pay to take him to the vet, but the vet had to come out to look at a cow, so I asked her what to do and did what she told me. No one else would help with him anymore, so I did it all.

“Eventually, when he started doing better, Rachel and Abby offered to help again, but I wouldn’t let them. I was sure I had to be the one to help him, that if I didn’t supervise it all, he would die when I wasn’t looking. And in the end, Shorty made it. My parents still have him, and he’s still happy and healthy, if slowing down a bit these days.”

He smiled, looking down as though the dog was sitting right there. Then he glanced up.

“I, on the other hand, came down with a nasty cold that took a month to get over. I missed all of volleyball season.”

Delanie sat on the bed, her back aching and the weariness creeping back over her. “What’s the point of all this?”

He sat next to her and took her hand. “The point is, Lanie, that I take care of those who need me, even to my own detriment. Even when others might have lightened the load, if I would let them. And even if it means missing out on my own happiness.” He looked her in the eyes. “It wasn’t you that I wouldn’t let myself choose first. It was me. Because me always wanted to choose you. I just had too many puppies to take care of.”

Delanie frowned, not sure she understood the metaphor. “Does this mean you’re willing to move to Vancouver with me? Or”—she gestured around the room—“wherever?”

“I am.” He looked around the room. “Though it might be a bit tricky to hold down a steady job in wherever, so we have some logistics to work out.”

“What about the farm? And Emma?”

“My parents are thinking of giving up the farm anyway, even if I stay in Peace Crossing. And Emma . . .” His eyes clouded, then cleared. “I’ll always be her dad. I’ll just have to get used to doing it remotely most of the time from now on. A decade or so sooner than I’d hoped, but it was bound to happen eventually.”

Delanie could hear the catch in his voice. She stared into his eyes, which were dark brown in the dim light of the room, trying to see into his soul. “Is this really what you want?”

“If it wasn’t, do you think I would be here?” He raised his brows, then tilted his forehead toward her. “Yes, Delanie. This is what I want. To spend every day of the rest of my life loving you, if you’ll let me. I choose you first.”

Her heart leapt. How she had longed to hear those words! No wonder he’d driven a whole day to get to her.

But . . . was it what she wanted? To know he had given up the treasure of his heart to deal with the hot mess she knew herself to be, when she wouldn’t have done the same in return? Wouldn’t she always wonder if he regretted his choice?

“I . . .” Her heart thudded against her ribs, and every word she’d ever heard flew out of her mind. “I don’t know what to say.”

“I’m not going to lie, I was hoping you would say something similar in return.”

“I mean, I want to. But I’m not sure you’ve thought this through. Those logistics you skipped over matter, Caleb. It’s not like you’ll ever find a discount flight from Kamloops to Brampton, and I’m going to be living here for the better part of the next three years, at least. And what if something happens to your dad? Not to mention, you can’t just get a new job every time I do. I know you. You’re a guy with deep roots. And living with me, living like this”—she gestured around the room again—“means tearing those roots up over and over again. We could get a house in Vancouver, I suppose, but would you want to live in Vancouver full-time if I can only see you on weekends? I just can’t believe you would be happy long-term, no matter what you say.”

“So what are you saying?” he asked, and the disbelief in his eyes almost broke her.

“I’m saying . . .”

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