Page 45 of Destined For Forever

“What happened?” Her voice was barely a whisper.

“I saw the news about you and Brock.” He swallowed against the lump in his throat. “I turned around and walked right back out of the airport and vowed never to chase anyone ever again. But I’ve never been able to get you out of my head, Lily. Never. And I suspect you feel the same.”

She shook her head, as if trying to deny it. As if trying to protect herself.

“You wrote a movie about us falling in love.”

“It was fiction.”

“Bullshit.”

“I know the difference between my characters and actual people,” she said emphatically. “I know the difference between a story and reality.”

“Are you denying that you based Ace Saunders on me?”

Silence settled around him, almost as if the snow had come inside and brought with it that magical hush. Lily was still. His question had frozen her. But her body was warm and soft, and after his ears adjusted to the quiet, he heard a deeper layer of sound. The in-and-out whoosh of her breath. The thump-thump of his heart.

He’d seen a version of himself in Ace—yes, it was polished and smoothed out for the benefit of an audience, with some of the less attractive bits trimmed away. And he’d seen her in the film’s heroine, the shy bookish Renee. It was almost like she’d written the story of what might have happened if she never went to Melbourne for university, and if he hadn’t been too chicken to say how he felt about her sooner.

In the movie, Ace had even dated Renee’s friend. They’d shared a brief kiss in a spot that looked startlingly similar to real life. Only in the movie world, Renee had stayed in the small town and they’d found happily ever after.

That’s the difference between movies and real life.

“I’m not denying it. But that doesn’t mean I wrote the life I wished for. I wanted to leave Patterson’s Bluff. I wanted to chase success in America. I wanted a different experience than staying in a small town by the ocean.” Her eyes were glimmering even brighter now. There were definitely tears gathering. “I wanted… more.”

Her words were like a fist to the solar plexus. It was the confirmation he always feared—that his life would never be enough for someone like her. That what “might be” was nothing more than a hypothetical. An unfounded desire. A never-to-be-realised dream.

“Sean, I wrote a movie I thought would connect with people. That’s it.” She whisked away a tear with the back of her hand. “It’s just a story.”

“Is that why you don’t want me to say that I love you?” The words came out harsh and sharp-edged, but it was go big or go home. And sadly, his instincts told him he definitely was going home. Alone. “Because you don’t feel the same and you’re trying to spare my feelings?”

She looked down at the floor.

“Lily, put me out of my bloody misery, okay? Am I alone in this? Am I feeling something one-sided?”

Her eyes were glossy, and she shook her head, scattering her dark hair around her shoulders. “It’s not one-sided.”

The lingering resistance in the air stopped him from latching on to her statement.

“But I’m going back to LA to do what’s best for my career and I don’t want you to follow me.” She looked back up and laid a hand on his arm. “I know Zoey and your friends are everything to you. I know you’re trying to fix things with your dad. I know Patterson’s Bluff is your forever home. I will not ask you to give all that up for something that… for something uncertain. Being away from your family is hard, even when the sacrifice feels worth it. You would grow to resent me if you came to LA.”

He didn’t understand her industry enough to know if that was an option, but the key thing that struck Sean was that Lily didn’t even seem willing to look at options. “Can’t we talk about it? Hell, our whole ruse here is that we’re having a long-distance relationship. Isn’t that an option?”

“What? So we can both get wrapped up in our jobs and slowly forget about one another until we break up?”

“So that’s it. Put it in the too-hard basket and call it a day?”

After years of lusting and fantasising and wishing, it felt horribly final. Horribly unsatisfying. Maybe most guys would be happy for a few nights in bed with a woman they’d always wanted, but that wasn’t enough for Sean. Sex was great, but it was like fairy floss. Delicious and ultimately insubstantial. At some point, a man craved more. He craved commitment and plans for the future.

Talk about something you never thought you’d wish for.

“This was never meant to be anything more than a convenient arrangement.” She dropped her head. “I’m not looking for love.”

Sean knew how to take rejection on the chin—he’d spent his entire childhood having his mother call him worthless and his father coping by staying away from home. He knew how to stay strong and tall in the face of it.

“I’ve said what I wanted to say,” he replied evenly. “And we’ll see the rest of this trip out. I won’t blow your cover.”

Lily looked at him, her eyes searching his face. “Thank you.”

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