Page 34 of Redemption

Chapter 27

Morning sunlight filteredthrough the blinds as I slowly came awake. I gathered my bearings when I felt the warm body next to me. I looked down at the blonde head so close to mine, and my heartbeat quickened. Never before had I felt as liberated as I had last night, even being restrained. After we left Eden, we headed back to her house and further explored this burgeoning relationship between us. It had been the most liberating experience to just let go. To trust in Josie. It was also the first time in months I’d slept an entire night free of nightmares. No ghosts haunted my visions. No blood-filled rivers flowed. It was a heady feeling to wake up this relaxed and unfettered of the chains that had held me down for so long. And it was all because of Josie.

I didn’t expect that one night of submission worked miracles and that I was absolved of all the guilt eating away at me, but it still gave me hope. Hope that I would be able to expunge this shit from my system. That, finally, I could set aside this burden that weighed my soul down. The tiniest crack of light had escaped the blackness that surrounded me. It was warm, but not yet strong enough to conquer the dark completely.

Josie shifted, and I pulled her closer to me, wrapping my arms around her to let her warmth soak into me. She gave a cat-like stretch before turning her head to look over her shoulder at me. She gave me a drowsy, but well-satisfied smile.

“Good morning. Did you sleep well?”

She pushed back against me slightly, my morning erection grinding against her ass.

“I slept wonderfully, Miles.” Her smile shrank, and a more serious expression crossed her face. “What about you? Any dreams?”

I dropped a soft kiss on her shoulder. “My sleep was filled with all the ways I want to please you.”

“I like the sound of that. First, though, I think we need to talk.”

She slid out of my arms and scooted to sit up at the head of the bed. She didn’t bother to cover herself, and I couldn’t help being slightly distracted by her gorgeous, exposed breasts. When I was finally able to tear my eyes away from them and meet her glance, a smirk appeared on her face. I could only shrug as if to say, “I just can’t help myself.” I was reluctant to talk, but I had to agree it was time. She patted her thighs, so I situated myself so I lay comfortably next to her and placed my head in her lap.

“Did you mean it?” I needed to know if she was still really leaving Blacklight Securities.

She threw me a puzzled look. “Did I mean what?”

“Are you truly quitting? Or were you just pissed at me? I haven’t asked Connor if you’d turned in your letter of resignation.”

She sighed and absently ran her fingers through my short-cropped hair. “Honestly, at first I was pissed at you and just blurted it out. I hadn’t even planned on saying it. I just couldn’t help it. But, after talking with Connor I put plans in motion to quit. So, yes, I really meant it.”

I attempted to sit up, but an arm across my chest and shoulders stopped me.

“It’s possible that this could be a good change for me. Some of the reasons I listed to Connor for why I was quitting are still valid. I think there is more I could be doing with my talent. Even if I don’t work for Blacklight anymore, it doesn’t mean that we can’t work out.”

Damn it, I didn’t want her to quit.

“This is all my fault. If I hadn’t been so upset when you told me who you really were, none of this would be happening.”

“It’s not your fault, Miles. You were perfectly right to feel betrayed. I shouldn’t have kept my identity from you. It wasn’t fair. I know I took your choices away and that was wrong of me. I knew better, but I did it anyway. Desperate times called for desperate measures. Even that is no excuse. I do need you to tell me why you continuously pushed me away though. Even before the whole incident with Malcolm Shipman, you kept me at arm’s length.”

I avoided looking at her as I plucked the comforter between my fingers. A sharp tug to my hair had me wincing as she said my name is a warning tone. I forced myself to answer.

“I’m forty-two years old, Josephine. You have your whole life ahead of you, and I’m pushing middle-aged. You’ve always possessed this aura of innocence, while I’ve seen the seedy side of life. You’re brilliant, while I’m more brawn than brains. I’ve had one failed relationship. I’m not rich. I don’t even own my own house. I have nothing to offer you.”

One of her hands gently curled around my head. She traced a soft trail down my cheek with the backs of her fingers as she began to speak.

“You have got to be kidding me? Do you really think any of that matters to me, Miles? I love you. I’ve always loved you. When I’m with you, I feel complete. You are my soulmate. My everything. I take one look at you and I see my future. My forever. Absolutely nothing beyond that matters. Nothing.”

She leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to my lips. She made to deepen it, but I pulled back. I knew how hard it was for her to open herself up like this, but I continued to struggle.

“You know I care for you Josephine. More than I’ve cared for anyone in my life. I will try to let go of the guilt and be the man I know you think I am.”

“You have to let go of the guilt Miles. It’s eating you alive. There is no reason to regret protecting the life of a loved one. None whatsoever. Take it from me.”

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