Chapter 18
After Miles’visit to my house last week, I’d taken one more day off from work. Not because I needed to, but because I hadn’t wanted to face him after yet another rejection. As much as it killed me to admit it, maybe it was finally time to call it quits. Had I truly been kidding myself all these years? I spent a lot of time thinking about Miles and life in general. Even now, I hadn’t made a decision about what I was going to do.
After I returned to work Thursday, the atmosphere around the office was awkward to say the least. Bryce spent his days glaring at Miles, and even going so far as to throw darts at a picture of Miles he'd taped to his office wall. In the meantime, Connor gave his best impression of Switzerland. The rest of the staff walked on eggshells around us, even if they didn’t know why.
As for Miles and me, we no longer even exchanged a greeting if we happened to pass each other in the hall. If I walked into a room and he was there, I turned around and walked back out. I noticed he did the same. We did everything we could to avoid each other. I hated every minute of it. No longer was work a mostly drama-free environment. And it sucked that Miles and I were the cause of it.
Connor had told me to give Miles time. Patience had never been one of my virtues. Lord, this was going to kill me. Oomph. If my mind hadn’t been wandering, I would have avoided the collision with the hard body in front of me. Instead, I bounced off it, jarring my arm. Thankfully, I’d had the stitches removed earlier in the week, and while it still stung a little, it was nowhere near the pain it was almost two weeks ago. It had been a severely deep cut, requiring over fifty stitches.
“Sor—” My mouth stopped working when I saw who I’d collided with. Suddenly, any pain I might have felt disappeared. Instead, sparks ignited along the neural pathways of my body like they always did when Miles touched me. Strong, warm hands grasped my biceps to steady me. Office chatter ceased and had a pin dropped, the noise of it hitting the floor would have blasted like a shotgun. Neither of us paid attention to anyone around us. We both remained motionless, not wanting to break our tenuous connection, as we gazed into each other’s eyes.
“Josephine.” He slowly, almost reluctantly, removed his hands from my arms. Instantly, my body temperature dropped a few degrees now that his heat moved away from me. A small sense of pride spread through me when Miles broke eye contact first. The Domme in me wanted to praise him.
“I’m quitting.” I’m not sure which of us was more surprised at my declaration. Maybe more so me, considering I had no idea that was going to come out of my mouth. But now that I’d said it, I couldn’t take it back. Maybe starting out somewhere fresh was what I needed to get over Miles. It didn’t help seeing him day in and day out. Out of sight, out of mind, right? I had at least two new job offers a month, but I’d never considered going elsewhere out of loyalty to Connor and because Miles was here. Except, now seemed to be the time to begin the next chapter of my life. I knew Connor would understand.
“What?” Miles barked the question at me. My skin prickled as I envisioned everyone in the office staring at us as we stood here. Not wanting to continue this conversation in such a public place, I headed to my office.
“Perhaps we should finish this conversation in private.”
Miles followed me and closed the door behind him.
“Now, what do you mean, you’re quitting? Out of nowhere you just decide to up and leave? How could you do that to… Connor?”
My heart sped up. I know he paused before saying Connor. As though that wasn’t who he’d been referring to. I squashed the excitement though, because every time I seemed to get my hopes up, Miles would say something and they’d be dashed. My heart couldn’t take it anymore. I thought I was stronger. That I could make him envision a future with me. I guess I wasn’t as strong as I thought, because I couldn’t fight him anymore. Like Casey, I couldn’t bring him back to me.
Miles had to want to fight his demons. No matter how persuasive I was and no matter how much I tried to command him to heal, clearly he wasn’t ready. He wanted to wallow in his regrets and guilt and self-pity. So now he was stuck with them. And they sure wouldn’t keep him warm at night. Which, thinking about it, just started to piss me off.
“I gave Connor my notice, and he understands my need to challenge myself with something different. I’ve been thinking about advancing my career for a while now anyway.” The lie tasted bitter on my tongue.
“You’re lying.” Miles narrowed his eyes as though he could see right through me to the truth.
I tried not to fidget under his glare, knowing he was completely correct. But now that I’d said it out loud, the idea had merit. I had no idea how Connor was going to react when I got around to telling him I was leaving. I couldn’t let that stop me though. As much as I loved Connor, he had to understand the agony I was going through every day. He was the one who warned me that Miles would break my heart. No matter how much it hurt though, I was glad I’d gone for it. Because now I knew. Now I could move on.
“I’m afraid not. I was offered a job with another company. I’d been debating about whether it was a good move for me or not, and after weighing the pros and cons, I’ve decided to take it. I mean there’s no reason I should stay is there?” Even though I knew what his answer was going to be, I still held my breath as I waited for the axe to fall. I mentally braced myself for it, hardening my heart against yet another rejection from this man.
“You’re well respected, and we’re all like family. Everyone would miss you.”
Annnnnd, there it was. I could only shake my head. Needing to get away from him, I began to walk around his body, which blocked my path to my office door. Just as I moved past, Miles grabbed my arm to stay my retreat. My body stiffened. I stood taller and gave him my best Domme stare, daring him to take his hands off me.
“I would miss you.”