Page 21 of Redemption

Chapter 17

For two daysI ignored Connor’s phone calls and text messages, even so much as calling in sick on Monday. Something I had never done before. But, I had no desire to talk to Connor and most definitely not to Josie. I was still pissed off and didn’t trust myself to not say something that would cause a permanent rift between us. I knew I couldn’t put off seeing her forever, though. In fact, I’d have to face her again tomorrow. That didn’t mean I planned on speaking to her.

The moment I entered the office on Tuesday morning, I noticed Josie’s office lights were off. That was unusual. She’d been the first one in the office every day for six years. What was going on? Where was she? She didn’t actually quit because of what happened between us did she? Even pissed at her, I didn’t want her to stop working here. I headed down the hall to Bryce’s office. I knocked, but didn’t wait for an answer before I walked in, closing the door behind me.

Bryce looked up at my intrusion. “Sure, come on in. I wasn’t busy or anything.”

“Where’s Josephine?”

He sat back in his chair and placed his hands behind his head. Then he stared at me, completely ignoring my question.

I could be a stubborn son of a bitch, but I needed answers more than I needed to win a pissing contest on who could hold out the longest.

“Damn it, Bryce, where is she?”

“You were the one ignoring calls and text messages. Why do you suddenly care what’s been happening?”

My stomach dropped. I assumed Connor had been calling to cuss me out for breaking his favorite girl’s heart. If something happened to Josie and I’d been too stubborn to answer the phone, I’d never forgive myself.

“Look, just tell me what’s going on. Please,” I added as an afterthought.

Thank god Bryce took pity on me. I saw the capitulation in his posture. “First off, Josie’s fine. She’s taken the last couple of days off after a slight altercation Saturday night.”

“What do you mean, ‘slight altercation’? She was fine when I left Eden.”

“There was a break-in at her house after she got home from the club. The intruder had a knife and she was cut. She needed stitches, but she’s okay. Her pain medication is knocking her out so she took some time off until she feels a little better.”

In shock, I stumbled over to the office chair and plopped down. Josie had been hurt while I’d been sulking because she hadn’t told me who she was. What if she’d been killed? Did I really want the last words between us to be words of anger? I needed to see her. So I could at least see with my own eyes that she was going to be fine. It still didn’t mean I forgave her. But I wasn’t a heartless bastard. Besides, even feeling betrayed, it didn’t mean I didn’t care for her.

Bryce had remained silent. “Is she home or is she at the hospital?”

He took his time answering. Perhaps weighing how much he should tell me. I wondered how much he knew about what’d happened between her and me on Saturday. Considering how close he and Josie were, I’m sure he knew all the details.

He must have sensed that I would get answers whether he wanted to give them or not, he finally told me what I wanted to know.

“She’s home. Resting.”

If that was a hint that I was supposed to leave her alone, it wasn’t a very good one. I didn’t care if she was resting. She could rest again once I left. I planned on checking on her. I rose from the couch and left with the same abruptness as I’d arrived. I’d text Connor I would be coming back later. Not that I didn’t think for one second that Bryce wouldn’t share with him where I was anyway.

Thirty-five minutes later I was knocking on her front door. Muted footsteps became louder before the door finally opened. Surprise and delight momentarily crossed Josephine’s face when she saw me standing there, but quickly shifted to wary. My gaze scanned her body looking for injuries. My eyes stopped their roaming when I spotted the white bandage wrapped around her forearm and the way she gingerly held it against her body.

“Miles, what are you doing here?”

I pushed my way past her, and I heard her mutter under her breath something about making myself at home.

She stood against the door, the hand of her uninjured arm on her hip, a scowl now on her face. God, she was beautiful. Against my will, my cock hardened. Damn, I needed to get my body under control. Too late. Her eyes darted to my erection and a self-satisfied smirk flitted across her lips.

“I was worried about you and came to check and make sure you were safe. Bryce told me what happened. I don’t like you being here alone. What happens if the guy returns? And why didn’t you call me? Tell me you were hurt?”

Josephine walked past me and plopped down on her couch, wincing slightly when she jarred her injured arm. I sat on the edge of the recliner, leaning my forearms on my knees waiting on her explanation.

“I didn’t want to bother you. Besides, I figured you wouldn’t want to talk to me anyway.”

“Just because I’m pissed at you doesn’t mean I don’t give a shit. I care about you Josephine. We’ve always been friends. I would want to know that you’ve been hurt.”

“You don’t get it, Miles. I don’t want to be friends. I’m in love with you. Do you even realize the courage it took for me to reveal myself to you? I’ve been in love with you forever. Add that to the fact that I don’t have the most normal sexual desires, I was really putting myself out there. Your rejection hurt me so much. Especially considering your response to my domination before you knew I was Mistress Jasmine. Maybe I should have gone about it a different way, but no other way has worked. I’ve been waiting six years. Six years, Miles. I got tired of waiting. Especially when I know you have stronger feelings for me than friendship no matter how much you deny it.”

As much as I hated to admit it, everything she said was true. None of that mattered though. My life was a shit show right now, and I had no desire to drag her down into the darkness with me. I woke up every night in a cold sweat, having tossed and turned, seeing nothing but blood. I hadn’t slept more than a couple hours a night since killing Malcolm.

“I’m sorry, Josephine. I just can’t. I only came over here to check on you and make sure you were okay. Please talk to Connor about having someone drive by here periodically. It would make me feel better knowing you’re safe.”

She deflated at my words, and I hated that I hurt her. I wish I could be who she needed me to be. She rose from her position on the couch and headed to the front door. I knew that was my cue to leave.

“Thanks for checking on me, but I’m fine.” She held the door open for me, refusing to even look at me. That had never happened before. Her eyes were always on me, following me. It was a testament to how much I’d hurt her. My arm tensed with the force it took not to reach out and caress her face as I moved past. It took all my effort to hold myself back. No reason to lead her on in the hopes that we had a future.

“I’m glad you weren’t more seriously hurt.” I wanted to say more, but I knew it was best if I just left. No sense in prolonging each other’s agony. After she closed the door behind me, I stood there staring at it, wondering if I hadn’t just made the biggest mistake of my life. And silently praying she’d open it again.

---