Page 83 of Because I Could Not Stop for Death

I pressed my mouth closed because I was afraid of what I would say. How could I not try to find out what happened to my brother? He was all I had.

“You don’t have to do any of this,” Matthew said. “You don’t even have to work for the Dickinson family. I know that you are upset about Henry’s death. I am too. For all the trouble that he got into, I knew his heart was always in the right place. He and I were fighting for the same things. He would think it was more important for you to be happy than to find his killer.”

“Maybe I can’t be happy without out knowing what really happened.”

“I know you can. I can make you happy if you let me.”

“Is it right to go about my life when Henry’s life has come to an end? What right do I have to that?”

“You have been a good daughter and a good sister. You deserve happiness.”

Tear sprang to my eyes. That’s where he was wrong. I hadn’t been a good sister. If I had, Henry wouldn’t be dead. I should have paid more attention to what he was up to. I should have asked more questions. How could I know that I wouldn’t fail Matthew too?

“I can see that you are close to telling me no again to my offer of marriage. I will not accept that answer.”

“I do not accept something offered in pity.”

“It’s not pity, Willa.”

I looked him in the eye. “Then what is it?”

Instead of answering my question, he said, “I’ll wait. I will wait for as long as you need.”

“Don’t throw your life away for me,” I whispered. “It could be a very long time, maybe even forever.”

“Then forever it will be.”

Chapter Thirty-One

Between the work that Margaret expected me to do around the Dickinson home and the errands that she asked me to run around town, I used every free moment to ask questions about the Underground Railroad and what people in Amherst knew about it. The truth was there was surprisingly little the average person knew.

It was a very secretive operation, and the people involved were skilled at keeping its secrets. I didn’t even fully know Matthew’s involvement in all of it, and I had the feeling he wasn’t at liberty to tell me either. However, I kept trying to learn more with the hope it would solve the mystery of Henry’s death. Since my brother had gone to the bakery and butcher shop in search of information, I started there too.

In the bakery, Mrs.Cutter gave me a chocolate chip cookie for my trouble, but she didn’t have much information to share. She dusted flour off of her hands after she placed a lattice-topped apple pie in the display case. “I really have not heard of a slave catcher being in town. It’s not my business. I try to stay out of the fray, you see. As for Henry—goodness, I was sorry to hear what happened to him—I’d seen him around here, yes. He was always asking questions just like you are now, and his questions were quite similar. What is going on with the Noble siblings asking such questions?” She studied me.

I bit into my cookie, so I had some time to think of an answer. It was divine. The chocolate melted in my mouth, and I was delighted that she had also included walnuts in her recipe. There was nothing that I loved more than the delicious crunch of walnuts in cookies and cakes. They cost extra and they weren’t something that we baked with often at the Dickinson home as Mr.Dickinson was a frugal man.

I swallowed the bite. “I suppose in my case, it’s because I miss my brother. I just want to know what he was up to those final days of his life.” Tears gathered in my eyes.

“Oh, you poor girl.” She reached into the glass cookie jar on the counter. “Here, have another cookie.”

I wasn’t above taking it.

I was eating my second cookie outside of the butcher shop when the door opened and Reverend Dwight came out. He glared at me, and the last bit of cookie lodged in my throat.

“Miss Noble,” he said in his deep baritone voice. “I have been told by my children that you are causing trouble for them.”

“I’m not, sir.” I swallowed, praying the cookie would move down my throat.

“I surely hope you’re not. Because I would not want a sister of one of the best men in our operation to ruin things.”

I stared at him. “Excuse me, sir?”

“Henry and I had similar sympathies, let me say. This was one reason I would not let him court my daughter.”

With a sharp intake of breath, I realized Reverend Dwight was telling me that he was also part of the Underground Railroad. How little did I know about the people of Amherst before my brother’s death? Who else was caught up in the cause? I looked up and down the street.

“I did not want my daughter to have to worry about the man she loved or be in danger herself. If I had let her fall in love with Henry, that would have happened. What he was doing for the cause was dangerous, and that was proven when he was killed.”

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