“Tell ’em I’m by yo’ mama, too. You got the brazen salty nuts, the absolute unwaverin’ bravado, to report me on your little Melissa and Doug radio. That’s cool though.”
Legend started to walk away, but could hear the little bitch complaining about an irate customer for quite some time. He rolled his eyes, and made his way over to pick up the loaf of bread, cornbread mix, and the rest of the items on the list. He got in line, checked out, and noticed he was being watched now by two sloppily dressed guards. It took all he had in him to not run back up to the store and beat the piss out of both of them just for the pure pleasure of it. He took a deep breath, loaded his truck, and drove straight to Tina’s house.
As soon as he arrived at the small white dwelling with theBlack Lives Mattersticker on a window, the door swung open before he had a chance to even knock. There the woman stood, sporting a long-sleeved grey shirt, jeans, and thick green socks. A pink satin bonnet sat on her head, and she held a cigarette in her hand.
“Come on in, handsome! That sho’ was fast, baby.”
“Yes, ma’am. It didn’t take too long at all. I got everything you asked for.”
He brought the three bags into her house and headed to her kitchen while she closed and locked the front door. The television was on, and her little black cat lounged in the corner, fast asleep. The house smelled like perfume, coffee, and cigarettes.
She joined him while he put the groceries away, her cellphone now in hand, too.
He heard his cellphone ping, and started to slide it out of his pocket.
“You ain’t gotta look. It’s just me sendin’ you the money to ya Cash App.”
“Mrs. Washington, I told you, you didn’t have to do that.”
“Yes I did. I ain’t no freeloader. Ain’t no such thang as a free lunch!” She laughed hard at her own joke as he grinned, and put her milk in the refrigerator. “And stop callin’ me Ms. Washington and Ma’am. You actin’ too polite. We both been locked up before, so cut the charade.” At that, he cracked up.
“Okay, then. What do you want me to call you?” He crossed his arms and smiled at her.
“Tina or Mama will do.”
“Okay. I’ll try to remember that. Well, I hate to drop off the food and dash, but I—”
“Can you spare five minutes, honey?” She rested her hand against her small kitchen chair and looked up at him. “I promise, just five minutes, and not a second more. You can set yo’ watch to me.”
“Yes ma’am, I mean, yes Tina.”
“Good. Let’s chat for a bit. Sit on down here, honey.”
They sat down across from one another as the television played a commercial about purchasing a new Kia car.
“I want to tell you somethin’, ’cause you and I ain’t really had a lot of time to talk privately.”
“Okay. Everything all right?”
“Yes it is. As far as it’s going to be, anyway,” She tapped cigarette ashes into a blue ashtray. “I know it ain’t none of my business, and it’s not like me to stick my nose where it don’t belong, but I’m ’bout to bring up something real delicate. Desiree told me not to say nothin’, but I am anyway. Iunderstand somethin’ happened to your brother when you were a little boy. A bad accident?”
“…Yeah. Tarik fell out of a window. He died.”
“And you blame your mama for that, and y’all ain’t talking because of it?”
“Well, it’s actually way more to it than that. My mother and I aren’t talking for a lot of reasons, and to be real honest with you, Tina, I don’t want to get into all the causes as to why right now.”
“Okay. I understand. I can respect that. I figured there may have been more to it, but Desiree ain’t say nothin’ else.” She tapped her cigarette into her ashtray once more, and her eyes tapered as she stared at him. “Regardless of the reasons, at the end of the day, son, that’s still yo’ mama… Don’t make that face, Legend.” They both smiled at one another as apparently, she caught his lips twist up at her words.
“You ’bout to marry my daughter. Y’all gonna be a family. That makes you my son, too. I’m tellin’ you now, as your mother-in-law, and a woman that’s lived life, that if you don’t at least make peace with her, regardless of whatever beef y’all got going on, you’re going to regret it. I’m not talkin’ about be friends with her. I’m not even talkin’ about have a relationship with her. I’m not talkin’ about forgiveness, either, ’cause depending on what it is, not everything is forgivable. I’m talkin’ about making peace with her, inYOURheart. Don’t carry that baggage with you, boy. It’s too heavy.” He leaned back in his chair and checked the time on his phone.
“My mama died,” she continued, “and I ain’t never forgot about our last conversation. I cussed her up one side and down the other.” Her eyes sheened as she tapped more ashes into the ashtray, her fingers twitching nervously. “I blamed her for every problem in my life, Legend, and I still think she was responsible for a lot of my pain and hurt, and teachin’ me shit that wasn’ttrue. But I got a hurtin’ pain inside of me that won’t heal all because I was stubborn and bullheaded.
“All ’cause I talked to her like dat and didn’t have time to tell her I loved her anyway, no matter the thangs she done, ’cause her intentions wasn’t to hurt me, Legend. Intentions are important. If somebody out here tryna make yo’ life a livin’ hell, that’s one thing, but if they just a dumb person that happens to be our mama, then damn! We gotta cut ’em some slack. Again, we ain’t got to like them. Ain’t got to talk to them. But we gotta make peace within ourselves, and accept, they were just too dumb, or too selfish, or too whatever to know better.” He sat up a little, and he felt that… He nodded his head in understanding. “I ain’t get to tell my mama that I know she just didn’t know no better, before she left this Earth.” She sniffed, and dabbed at her eyes with the back of her hand. “We can learn lessons from our Mama. We don’t have to be cool with her. Be friends wit’ her. Some of my kids ain’t even talkin’ to me ’cause of the life I lived before I got clean.” He nodded in understanding. “They don’t want nothin’ to do wit’ me, and I can’t tell them how to feel. Tell ’em they wrong. All I can do is still be here and open that door, or answer that phone when they finally decide to call. Not all of us get happy endings, but we can love one another through the sadness and agony of the painful chapters.
“I ain’t gone keep you, honey, and I’m sure your mama isn’t no angel if you feel the way you do ’bout the situation. You don’t come across as unreasonable to me, but please, before you regret it, make peace in your heart wit’ that woman. Even if you still decide to never talk to her again, tell ’er that you love her, but you just can’t open yourself to that kind of hurt no more. More importantly, baby, heal from whatever pain she caused you, cause one day, she’ll be gone, and you’ll still be hurtin’. I ain’t have too many good things to say about my mama, but I thought of a few to say at her funeral. I tell you this though,honey, regardless of it all, she was here, and yo’ daddy wasn’t.” She pointed at him, a seriousness in her expression. “Maybe that counts for somethin’. That’s all I got to say about that. Ain’t none of my business no way. Get on up. I know you gots tuh go.”
He slowly got up from his chair, wrapped his arms around her, and gave her a kiss on the cheek. Tina walked him to the front door and opened it.