Page 55 of See No Evil

“…’Cause I was ashamed. I wasn’t looking at the situation the way I do now. I’m the big brother. I didn’t want you to think less of me. Another reason is that at the time it was happenin’, I didn’t wanna be taken out of the house by child protective services, ’cause you would then be there by yourself. Alone with them. They made sure to remind me of that more than once.”

Melanie kept crying and he kept eating, not really feeling much at all. He handed her another napkin, leaned back, and finished his coffee. After a few minutes, he’d had enough.

“Stop all that cryin’, girl.”

She sniffed and looked away. A couple of minutes passed, and Melanie loudly blew her nose. Her face was all splotchy and red, her eyes pink and watery.

“I can’t believe Mama did that… just dismissed it!”

“Yeah, you can. You can believe it. This ain’t the land of make-believe. Anything that disrupts her pleasure or fun, she’s historically ignored.” He started into his hashbrowns, wishing they had more onion, but they were pretty good overall.

Melanie crossed her arms and shook her head.

“I’m done!” Her voice shook as she waved her hand about. “I havetriedwith that woman! I can’t talk to her right now. I’ll cuss her out, Legend.”

“Nah, don’t stop talkin’ to her on account of me. You go on and have the relationship you’re supposed to have with her. I’m not trying to come between y’all. I’m just letting you know thatit’s a wrap for me. I ain’t got no mama as far as I’m concerned. Besides, that shit was a long time ago.”

“That’s not the point, and you know it. If it was, you wouldn’t still be mad at her about it.”

“You’ve got a point, but my issues with Mama aren’t just about that situation. A lot of parents don’t believe their kids when they tell ’em someone is touching them. I ’magine even half-decent parents have done that on occasion, and lived to regret it. Maybe because the kid lied a lot in general. I don’t know.” He shrugged. “But I do know that every time I needed her for somethin’ crucial, even as an adult, she wasn’t there for me. If I had some money, she wanted some for herself. She didn’t care how I was getting the money unless I got caught. All of a sudden she was my lovin’ Mama when I had a bag. If I couldn’t do anything for her ’cause I was locked up, and neededherfor a change, she wasn’t nowhere to be found.

“The only people who tried to be down for me were you, Axel, and Caspian. Y’all would call, send shit. Visit. Write letters. Mama ain’t do nothin’ but complain to me about what bills wasn’t paid, what her latest boyfriend did, or some dumb shit that happened at her job. She’d ask how I was doing at the start of each conversation, but she didn’t really care.” He huffed. “If she had been down for me even after what that son of a bitch did to me, and came to me as a woman and my mother, telling me, ‘Look, I messed up. I should’ve believed you, but I’m there for you now,’ I would’ve been less hard on her. The reason I’m bringing this up to you now, Melanie, is because… because I made a promise to Ms. Florence a long time ago, on her deathbed.”

Melanie’s lips curled in a smile. “I remember Mrs. Florence! She was so nice. Such a good teacher. To this day, I have never seen so many people at a funeral before.”

He smiled back and nodded. “She was a diamond in human form, is what she was. She affected a lot of people in a positive way. Changed us for the better.”

“What was your promise to her?”

“I told ’er that I would talk about this to people I loved, so I could free myself from it. The more I told the story to those who care for me, the more chains and shackles would fall off me. I didn’t understand that or believe her at the time, but now, I get it.” He swallowed, looked around the restaurant, and leaned a bit closer to her. “I had refused to tell her who the guys in question were. She wanted to try and get charges pressed, get the police involved. I told her I didn’t want that, and that it had happened a long time before. She didn’t care about the statute of limitations. To her, I was still a child in need of protection.” He blinked back his emotions. “And she was right about that, too. I wasn’t ready to deal wit’ it back then though. She recognized my resistance, and predicted that it would mess up my life if I didn’t get it off my chest, and try to heal from it.

“Most of the bad choices I’ve made started from this situation. I think it messed my head up real bad. When it first went down, I thought it was my fault. That I did something to cause it. As I got older, I didn’t care about myself. It was hard to even care about other people sometimes, too. I had a live for today, fuck tomorrow attitude. I didn’t want any kids ’cause of the shit Daddy put us through by leaving when we were so young—and I was scared that if I brought my own seed into the world, and they got molested, I would go crazy. ’Cause I know what it’s like.” He dropped his fork and looked down, slowly closing his eyes. “I know what it’s like to feel worthless…”

When he lifted his head, Melanie was crying again. He slowly got up from his seat, made her scoot over in the booth, and wrapped his arms around her. Kissing her on the top of the head, he then smiled. An expression that morphed into a laugh.

“’Member that time we went skatin’, and your skate fell apart while you were doing that little dance in front of your crush?”

She burst out laughing immediately.

“Kyle Johnson! That’s who I thought was so handsome. I think he lives in Columbus, Ohio now. I thought I was too cute that night in my little bright pink outfit. That skate unraveled like it was made of string! I went right down on my ass. Bloop! Some Gwen Stefani song was playin’, I believe.”

They were both cracking up then. When things settled, he took her hand and held it. They looked at one another, their smiles fading.

“I want to let you know that even though you and I have sometimes not agreed, bumped heads on some stuff, I love you, Melanie. I took my job as big brother seriously, especially since the eldest of us died before we even got a chance to really know him.” She nodded in understanding, blinking away her tears. “I felt like back then—and now—it was my job to be Daddy, Tarik and myself, for you. I know it sounds chauvinistic, but I want people to know that you ain’t out here by yourself. You’ve got a big brother, and—”

“And he’s ’bout that life!” She laughed, making him smile.

“Yeah… you already know. So, until you get married, I’m the one guarding you. Front, back, and side to side. We don’t have a present father in our lives, so I’m holdin’ it down. In spite of everything we’ve gone through, I think you’ve turned out real good. You’re workin’. Got your own place, and you’re more selective now about the men you let into your life.”

“Uh, you would be, too, if six years ago, your brother took a big ass pipe and beat your ex on the head with it!”

“He deserved that shit. He put his hands on my sister. I bet that was thelasttime he decided to punch a female.”

“And you got arrested and went to jail.”

“And he got a fast trip with siren music and disco lights to the ER. When he was discharged, and I saw his pussy ass at the club, I beat his ass again. Just in case he forgot about me. I’m not a legend in my own mind. Here’s an encore, bitch.”

Now they were both laughing again, and she suddenly grabbed him, taking him off guard, and wrapped her arms around him tight. He could feel her shaking like a leaf against him. Falling apart.

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