Page 19 of Cougar

“So you think you know what’s best for my daughter?”

“Em—”

“You have no idea what I’m going through.”

“Will you shut the fuck up for a minute and let me talk?”

“No, because all you’re gonna do is tell me what I should’ve done so this wouldn’t have happened. Am I right?”

“Em, I love you, but I can’t fuckin’ deal with you right now. Where’s Bass?”

I toss my phone to Bass and storm out the back door for some air. I needed someone to take out my frustrations on, and Max was my target. Everything I said was true. I know how Max feels about the way Marcus and I raised Jay; we all just chose to dance around the subject because at the end of the day, it’s none of his business.

A few minutes later. Bass appears and hands over my phone. “Your parents are on the way.”

I nod. “Thanks.”

“What was that outburst all about?” Bass throws his arm around my shoulders.

“Max has been waiting for a chance to say ‘I told you so,’ and today is not the day. I’m not in the mood for his high-and-mighty bullshit,” I huff.

“That’s your guilt talking, girl. No one is blaming you for what happened, so you need to stop blaming yourself.”

My phone vibrates in my hand and Alex’s name appears on the screen. Tears fill my eyes as I tap the green Answer button and bring the phone to my ear. “Hi, Alex.”

* * *

“Look at her go, Em. That’s right, baby girl. Come to Daddy.”

“Don’t let her fall, Marcus.”

“Never. My little Jaybird is gonna fly.” He lifted her over his head and she squealed. “Wanna go to Mommy?” He set her back on the floor and held her hands until she was steady on her feet before letting her go. “Go to Mommy.”

“Come to Mommy, Jay.” I extended my arms and cooed, “Come on, baby.”

She let out another excited squeal as she hobbled toward me on wobbly legs.

“Em, she’s gonna—”

Jay’s head hit the floor a split second before I snatched her up. A moment later, she let out a high-pitched scream. Marcus was at my side as I cradled her head and rocked her from side to side. But she wouldn’t stop crying.

“Let me try.” Marcus held out his hands. “Come here.” Jay didn’t even hesitate as she practically threw herself into Marcus’s arms and instantly stopped crying.

She didn’t want anything to do with me.

Because I didn’t catch her.

I let her fall.

I jerk awake to a dark room illuminated by the moonlight pouring through the windows. Instinctively, I look over at Marcus’s side of the bed, finding it empty.He’s gone.Grabbing my cell from the nightstand, I press the Home button to check the time; 1:00 a.m.

Tossing the covers back, I sit up, planting my feet on the floor, and realize I’m still wearing the same clothes from yesterday.

I feel defeated. My body is weak. My mouth is dry, my eyes are on fire, and my chest is raw from all the crying I’ve done in the last ten hours.

My thoughts immediately go to Jay, and I wonder what she’s doing right now. If she’s okay. Is she comfortable? Sleeping? Is she lying there awake, wondering if I put her there? Is she crying out for me? Is she crying out for Marcus? Does she have something to read? She loves to read on her iPad. Maybe I could take it to her tomorrow.

It is tomorrow.

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