Page 69 of Eastern Lights

“You’re rambling.”

“I know, sorry.” I began wiping my hands on my thighs because when I was anxious, sweaty palms were a given. I’d have bet my armpits were currently creating impressive pit stains, too. “I’m dealing with a new set of nerves.”

“No need for the nerves. We haven’t been nervous around each other since the first time we met. We shouldn’t start now.”

Easy for you to say—you aren’t about to make a crazy request.

He continued. “Honestly, you didn’t have to bring me anything. You’ve never been a waste of time in my life.”

He was being too kind because I knew the level of destruction I’d been. Though, Connor wasn’t the type to throw that fact in my face, which I was thankful for. We stood there smiling at one another for a minute, and I was probably cheesing like a fool trying to push out the words that had to come out of my mouth next.

“Okay, that’s not the only reason I came here with gifts,” I confessed. “Oh gosh, is it hot in here?” I began tugging on the top of my blouse, trying to air out my nerves.

Connor raised an eyebrow. “The air is on.” He reached toward his phone and paused. “I can call for my assistant to bring you water, though.”

“No, no. It’s fine. I’m just on the brink of a breakdown, no big deal. But that does lead me to what I need to talk to you about. Or more so, ask you about.”

“Oh?”

I clasped my hands and set them in my lap. “I was hoping I could interview you.”

Inquisitiveness filled his stare. “Interview me?”

“Yes. I know this sounds crazy, but I work forPassion Magazine. Well, I did work forPassion Magazine. I put in my two weeks’ notice before the wedding since I was planning on moving out to California with Jason, and well, now…” My words faded as my brain began to recall why I was in this situation and why I was seconds away from begging Connor to help me.

I cleared my throat and blinked a few times, forcing out a smile as I continued to talk. “I went to try to get my job back yesterday, and I guess my boss saw you at the ceremony hall. I don’t know if you know it, but you are a hot commodity in the media sphere, and so many people are interested in getting an exclusive interview with you.” The more I talked, the more the light evaporated from Connor’s eyes. “Straight to the point, my former boss said I can get my job back if I’m able to convince you to do an exclusive interview withPassionby this Friday.”

At this point, he was completely grimacing as he sat on the edge of the desk. His legs were stretched in front of him with his ankles crossed. His hands slid into his pockets, and the frown only deepened as he realized what I was proposing.

“I’m sorry, Aaliyah, I don’t really take on interviews.”

“I completely understand, but atPassion, we aren’t the everyday interviewers. We take pride in showcasing our clients in the best light and using our words to inspire others who have enough nerve to dream big. I spent the night researching you and your story—at least the parts that are public knowledge—and I do believe what you’ve done is quite remarkable. I think many could benefit from knowing your full story, or at least as much as you are willing to share.”

He scratched at the well-kempt scruff on his face. “I hear you, but I’m sorry. I think it’s important to hold on to some privacy in one’s life, and once you invite the media in, things can get twisted and messy. I’m not looking to add any more mess to my life. I just want to do good, even if it’s in private.”

Just like that, my already shattered heart began to crumble even more. I hadn’t known the pieces to break into smaller shards, yet here I was, heartbroken and pained.

I couldn’t even argue with Connor about his reasoning because I knew it was true. Once you opened the door to the world of media, they thought they deserved the right to flood into your privacy whenever they wished.

You couldn’t ask for privacy once you invited everyone into your world.

I parted my lips to try to say something that could maybe convince him, but nothing came to mind, so I shut my mouth.

He frowned and shrugged apologetically. “I’m sorry, I really am.”

“No, it’s fine. I completely understand. Thank you for even taking time out of your day to meet with me. And thank you for everything you did for me on Saturday. You truly went above and beyond.” I took in a deep inhalation and stood from the chair. My mind was already beginning to turn into panic mode as I turned away from Connor to leave his office.

“Aaliyah,” Connor called. As I looked back, I noticed he’d stood up from the desk, with his hands still in his pockets.

“Yes?”

“I’m sorry for what Jason did to you. You’re a good woman, and you didn’t deserve that treatment. But”—he took a few steps in my direction and lowered his voice—“between you and me, I believe you dodged a bullet.”

I let out a dry laugh and blinked a few times. “If only my heart could believe your words.”

“Just feel what you need to feel, then one day you’ll be okay again.”

“Is that how it works?”

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