Page 33 of The Rich One

“What are you doing?” I whisper so softly I hope only he can hear me.

“Shh,” Kai’s response is frustrating to say the least, but he’s right. This is not the time to speak.

“Okay, that was great everyone. Did you feel the moonbeams cleanse you?” We all respond in various ways—some sigh out ayes,others grunt. It’s me, I’m “others.”

“Right, so let’s present our wishes to the ashes. River has been so kind as to distribute recycled paper to everyone, they should be secured under a rock next to your pillows.” We all take out our papers and concentrate on the wishes we want to send out to the universe.

“What’s your wish, River?”Is it possible to want to punch and fuck a man at the same time?Every year, since I can remember, Kai has asked me this question during our ritual. And every year I give him the same answer.

“To be able to eat meat.” The double entendre only came to us in our later teens, but the first time I answered him I was being literal. I really, really wanted to know the taste of meat. Although I’ve long since given up veganism, my answer is still the same.

For the sake of memories.

“I’ve got your meat right here.” We both chuckle at his ready answer, the same one he’s given me since age sixteen.

I give him a side-eye, incapable of not smiling because, fuck me, when he grins with both dimples on proud display, I could seriously jump on hismeatand not regret a damn thing.

“We are at your home, Everest and Petal. You do the honors.” Everest smiles and places both of his hands on Petal’s cheeks then kisses her with so much love I can feel its potency from where I sit. He rises and takes Petal’s hand as they walk over to the fire. Standing behind her, they place the folded papers in their closed fists and kiss each other passionately as they drop the papers into the dancing flames. Wishes to ashes. The moon and the fire now hold their words for infinity.

I scribble one word on my paper. Just one. It’s all I really need for this year. For this life, really.

“River, sweetheart, it’s your turn.” Petal’s sweet mother nods to me and then to the fire pit.

I’m rising to my feet when Kai’s hand on my forearm stops me. Looking over at him, I see the sincerity in his clear eyes. Clearer than they’ve been all night.

“Wish for me, River.”

The word on my paper burns a hole in my palm. I lean in and kiss his cheek, my lips lingering long enough for me to inhale the earthy scent of him.

Rising, I smile down at his expectant face before forcing myself to walk to the fire. My hand extends, my heart constricts. I look over my shoulder at Kai right before my fingers open and the paper is engulfed by the flames. It’s gone in a second, the power of the fire too great for my word.

Clarity. It’s all I really want.

By the time the circle is complete, we spend the rest of the night talking and laughing and sharing our greatest memories. Petal and her family didn’t know our parents so we regale them with stories of communal living and unorganized road trips while passing around an endless amount of weed. I rarely smoke anymore. In fact, I haven’t since last Winter Solstice.

It’s almost two in the morning when my bladder decides it cannot wait another second before exploding. I’m feeling good, worry-free. The permanent weight on my shoulders barely feels like a feather thanks to the hazy high that’s clouding my mind.

We’re past the laughing stage by now and have moved on to the silent contemplation stage, our inner thoughts like a complete conversation with ourselves. I’m solving world hunger by the time I make it to the bathroom, and by the time I’ve peed the equivalent of the Mississippi River, I think I’ve figured out how to eliminate capitalism with an equalitarian form of government. By the time I’ve washed my hands—even being high won’t deter me from good hygiene—I’m convinced that the Harvest Moon has given me my wish.

I have clarity.

I know what I’m going to do. I have all the fucking solutions at the tip of my tongue.

Reaching out for the doorknob, my phone in hand, I laugh at Tyler’s new message.

Tyler:I’m at the bar trying to close a deal but I keep thinking of you. Now I’m hard as nails

Me:It’s the Harvest Moon

I don’t have time to reach the door before it flies open and there stands Kai. He’s glorious and determined. Lust is clear in his eyes but there’s something else there, too. His jaw is clenched, his fists opening and closing in a steady rhythm like he’s practicing his next words.

“Do you need to pee?” Stupid question, we’re in the bathroom. I look around and frown. Everest should make it bigger, maybe put in a shower stall next to the tub. I prefer showers, they’re cleaner. But baths are—

Fuck, I’m high.

“No, I don’t need to pee.” The space is so small that it only takes Kai two steps to have my back against the wall. “River.” My name is a whisper from his lips that licks at my skin, my nerves, my soul.

With my eyes closed, I wish for another time or place or destiny. But then I remember his words.

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