Page 18 of Dirty Dix

Finch blushes, and I can’t help but laugh. He really is too easy to tease.

After one too many scotches, Finch is begging Hunter and me not to become lion tamers, but the idea is really ingenious, and I can’t believe I haven’t thought of it sooner.

“You, my man, are too uptight,” Hunter slurs, straddling the statue lion, which is standing proud and tall outside the library. “You need to loosen up.” He strokes his cheek over the concreted mane, sighing contently.

Everything is so much funnier when you’re slightly inebriated, and Hunter and I are getting to the stage where almosteverythingis funny.

“Guys, get off the damn lion!” Finch pleads, while Hunter and I ride the statue proudly.

“Let me ride this big pussy in peace,” Hunter playfully retorts, while I lose my balance and fall onto my ass, laughing rowdily.

“Dixon?” a familiar voice asks in shock.

My laughing abruptly dies the moment I hear her, and any hilarity gets caught in my throat as the voice I’ve been trying so hard to forget addresses me once again.

“Dixon, are you okay?”

Closing my eyes, I count to three before calmly opening them, and I attempt to not keel over when I see the beautiful face of my ex-fiancée. My heart beats against my rib cage frantically, as the organ is beyond elated to see her again. My brain, however, knocks some sense into my whimsical center, and I harden the fuck up.

Standing to full height, I ignore the fact I’m completely drunk and my shirt and tie are askew as I offhandedly reply, “Hi, Lily.”

Looking down at my leather shoes, I sigh, as I see I’ve stepped in pink gum. I look like a total slob, but Lily looks immaculate, as usual.

She’s in a tight black dress which stops mid-thigh. Memories of how those long tanned legs wrapped around my neck while I ate her out for what felt like hours assault my brain. However, as my glance falls to her face, I see a silver tiara entangled in her long blonde curls. I can’t help but think how out of character a tacky gimmick like this is for her. But then my daft brain registers the fact she’s wearing a bright pink sash with the big, glittery words “Bride-to-Be.”

The simple phrase may as well have just told me to go fuck myself, and highlight what a failure I am.

Suddenly, I realize the date, and remember it would have been our one-year anniversary this weekend. But instead of mourning, or looking remotely reflective, Lily is out celebrating her bachelorette party, looking absolutely stunning and happy.

She doesn’t seem at all bothered that she would have beenmybride-to-be a year ago. She doesn’t even appear to care that this is the first time she’s seen me in so many months. She simply doesn’t care that she tore out my heart and left me a shell of who I once was. I gave her my all, and it still wasn’t good enough.

Iwasn’t good enough. But my best friend was.

However, lifting my head in pride, I snicker, making a point of looking at her sash. “Congratulations. I hope he can provide you everything that I couldn’t.”

“Dixon, wait!”

“Wait for what?” I spit, hands out wide. “For you to tell me how happy you are?”

“I’m s—”

Before she can finish, I cut her off because if I hear the word “sorry” pass through her deceitful lips, I just may hurl. “Save your excuses for your husband.”

“Dixon!” she pleads, reaching out for me.

But I storm down the stairs, ignoring the calls of my best friends. I also ignore the wounded look on my ex-lover’s face. But she can go to hell, as I’ve been wearing that same look since the day she walked out on me.

I simply ignore everything and focus on the only thing that makes a lick of sense.

I shouldn’t be here. But this was the first place I thought of running to.

I don’t know how to deal with these pent-up feelings. I never have. Other people’s feelings, I know how to resolve, but when it comes to me, I just want to forget.

Even for a stolen moment, I just want to forget how much it hurts to love someone who doesn’t love you back.

My fist pounding against the door is in sync with my hammering heart, and the moment it opens, the primitive animal comes roaring out of me and I attack.

“Dr. Mathews? Are you okay?” Juliet gasps, taking a step backward, her eyes widening in surprise.

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