Page 90 of Dr. Off Limits

Sutton

Wearing woolen mittens in summer was just plain wrong. So was ice-skating. But here Parker, Tristan, and I were, doing both.

“I haven’t skated since I was a kid. And it shows.” It had been the Christmas before the divorce—the last time I felt like I had a family. After the split I remember watching other families having fun and thinking how I wished I could turn the clock back.

But going back wasn’t possible. Not ever. I just had to make the best of what I had and plow forward.

“Can we get a hotdog?” Tristan asked as he came up behind us, clinging onto the three-foot-high penguin meant to help the smaller kids stay upright. “This is the worst idea ever.”

“Hey,” Parker said. “This was my idea.”

“It wasn’t your best,” I said.

“You hated the ropes course at first and you loved it by the end.”

“No, I was grateful to be alive at the end. There’s a very distinct difference.”

Parker groaned and led us all off the rink, towards the queue for hot dogs.

“But at least it took your mind off things for a bit,” Parker said.

“That’s true. My mind was fully occupied with the idea that my future career options could be narrowed with a broken wrist or severed spinal cord.”

Tristan ordered our food and we found a bench facing the rink. “I don’t think ice-skating is my kind of sport.”

“I don’t think it counts as a sport if you use the penguin,” I said, taking a seat one side of Parker. Tristan was on the other.

“Next time you break up with someone,” Tristan said. “I suggest we get a villa in Spain or something. Or maybe go wine tasting in the Loire.” He bit into his hotdog.

“Good to know you’re planning the aftermath of my next relationship,” I said. “But I opt for wine in France, if I get a say.”

“It’s a deal.” He held out his hand and I shook it.

“Don’t I get a say?” Parker asked.

“No,” Tristan and I chorused.

We watched the skaters as they made their way around the rink. Some were clearly more expert than others. The kids were the fastest—unaware of the danger they were facing with every move they made.

“It’s been worth it though,” Parker said. “Bet you haven’t thought about Jacob once since you’ve strapped your skates on.”

I gave her a small smile. Jacob was all I thought about. I managed to corral my attention at work, but as soon as I stepped through the sliding doors into the outside world, all my thoughts rushed to him.

“Can I add my two pennies?” Tristan asked, leaning forward in his seat so he could look at me.

“On my needing Parker’s trademarked distraction techniques?” I asked.

“More on you and Jacob. I know I’ve never met him and it’s not like you and I have been friends for decades. It’s just that if breaking up with a guy you’ve been dating can make you this sad for this long, it strikes me that you shouldn’t have broken up.”

“Tristan,” Parker said in a warning tone. “She didn’t want to break up with him.”

“Right, and I understand why you did. But why don’t you just say fuck the lot of them? Who cares if some people think you’ve done well because of who you’re sleeping with? You’ll know the truth. Everyone who works with you will know the truth.”

I got what Tristan was saying, but he wasn’t in my shoes. “It’s complicated,” I replied. “Life isn’t that easy.”

“Isn’t it?” Tristan said. “Does life always have to be a struggle? You’ve worked hard to be a doctor. You’ve proved how committed you are, how resourceful. It shows how dedicated you are. But at some point you have to enjoy the fruits of your labor. At some point, life is allowed to be easy and fun. Why don’t you let yourself be with Jacob? Fuck the haters.”

“It’s easy to say when you’re not the outsider.”

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