Page 38 of My Summer Fling

“Millie I was too fucking young for whatever the fuck it was that you wanted out of me that night, okay? When it was done and I looked down at you, I saw everything in your eyes that you had tried to hide from me since you were ten.”

Now it’s my turn to turn red. Because here I was thinking I did a decent job of hiding the fact that I had a crush on him for pretty much my entire life.

“I wasn’t ready for it, Millie. I had the emotional range of an earthworm. And you were looking at me like I’d hung the moon. You were looking at me like I was the only thing that existed for you in that moment. And I had never experienced that. I had never known what it was to be looked at like that.”

“And you couldn’t just have a conversation with me?” I almost shout at him. “You couldn’t have just taken a fucking moment to tell me what was on your mind? I would’ve been able to take it, Noah. I wasn’t some little kid anymore. And neither was my brother. He was reasonable and would’ve listened to us.”

“That’s where you’re wrong, Millie.” His laugh is angry and mocking. “You’re lying to yourself if you think you could’ve handled my rejection in that moment because there is no fucking way. No way. You were not ready to have sex and you definitely weren’t ready to be dropped on your ass right after. And, really? You really think twenty year old Teddy would’ve been okay with his best friend taking his sister’s virginity?” He laughs.

“Oh, so what you did wasn’t dropping me on my ass, Noah?” I’m definitely shouting now. “After I told you that I was a virgin, you didn’t say anything. You put your clothes on and walked out the front door. You never came back that night. You just walked out of my life like I was forgettable. Like I didn’t mean anything to you.” I choke back a sob. “Like we weren’t even friends!”

“Millie.” He sighs, walking over to the bed to sit in front of me. He reaches out to touch me but I jerk back, crawling away from him.

“No, you don’t get to touch me. You don’t get to comfort me or try to talk your way out of this. You may try to tell yourself that I was nothing to you, Noah. But I was at the very least your friend. And you don’t treat your friends like that.”

“Millie…”

He pauses as pain spreads across his face. I’m waiting for him to say something—anything—that will make this go away. I’m kicking myself for even bringing it up. Why didn’t I just let this ride out until the wedding? Now I have two more weeks to suffer through with him here. Fuck, he’s living in my damn house.

“You took something from me that night, Noah. And I vowed to myself that I would never let you take anything from me ever again.” I laugh. “But here we are. I guess I’m just as weak as I was back then, falling for every lie that comes out of your pretty mouth.”

“I meant it when I apologized, Millie. That wasn’t a lie.”

“Sure,” I say, nodding.

“Millie, don’t do that. It eats me up every day thinking about what I did to you. And when I apologized to you … I meant that.”

“I don’t want an apology anymore, Noah. I wanted … I don’t know what I wanted.” I wipe my tears and push the hair out of my face. My throat still hurts from the effort of holding back my sobs. “I guess I just wanted the truth, and that seems to be what I got so, thank you.”

I stand up and start walking around the room, gathering some clothes and toiletries.

“What in the world are you doing now?” he asks, watching me from the bed as I hurriedly collect my things.

“You don’t have anywhere to stay,” I tell him, wiping my face again to clear the tears. “So, you can stay here until Teddy’s wedding. Annie and I will go stay with Tiffany for the time being.”

“Millie, don’t be ridiculous. I’m not going to kick you out of your own house. I can find somewhere to stay. Or we can get along enough for me to sleep on the couch! This is stupid.”

“Oh?” I laugh, throwing everything I’ve laid out into a bag. “I’m being ridiculous?” I ask him “Rich. That’s really fucking rich coming from your mouth, Noah. But, yeah, I do agree that it’s stupid. It’s stupid that I still consider you enough of a friend to leave you at my house. And it’s definitely stupid that I still care enough to make sure that Teddy doesn’t find out about any of this.”

“Millie, please don’t leave like this,” he begs.

He follows me down the hall while I get Annie’s favorite blanket and call her off the couch. I open the front door and let Annie out. She waits patiently for me on the steps.

“Please don’t go, Millie.”

“Please don’t go.” I laugh in his face. “Funny. That’s what I was thinking when you walked out on me. I guess we’ll both know what disappointment feels like now.”

I slam the door behind me and run down the steps. Annie follows close behind, realizing that something is wrong. I load her up in the car and break down once I get into the driver’s seat. Punching the steering wheel, I scream as loud as possible into the void of my car.

Annie stands on the center console and licks my face, trying to give me any sort of comfort. I hold her head tight to mine, giving her kisses until I pull myself together.

“We’re going to Tiffany’s,” I tell her. “A little vacation before the wedding.” I ruffle her ears, wipe my eyes for what feels like the millionth time in the last hour, and then I’m off, running away from the man I thought had changed.

Silly me.

“FUCK!”I scream at the door after she shuts it. I pick up the closest thing to me, which just so happens to be a coffee cup we used this morning, and I hurl it at the door. It crashes and breaks into tons of tiny pieces all over her hardwood floor.

I leave it and pace around the living room and hallway. My footsteps fall heavily on the floor, and pictures on the walls rattle against the drywall. Why did I do that? Why did I say those things? Why couldn’t I just give her what she needed?

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