Page 4 of A Master's Destiny
She pauses for a moment, stating, “Safety must always come first.”
“Another example would be if you simply needed to take a break or stop altogether because you were not enjoying the scene.”
One of the other men frowns and raises his hand.
“Yes, Mr. Lofton?”
“Does it really matter as long as your submissive is getting off on it?”
She smiles. “Of course it matters. Both partners should enjoy the scene they’ve agreed to play out together. Naturally, as a Dominant, you can choose to sacrifice your enjoyment in order to please your sub. However, that is a conscious choice you must make for yourself. Never forget that you are in control of the scenes you create, and there is no shame in stopping if you become uncomfortable.”
Alana begins to slowly pace back and forth in front of the room. “Another thing to keep in mind is that playing the role of the Dominant can be physically taxing on the body. You may experience too much pain or fatigue to continue your scene.”
Ravenson nods in understanding.
“But it’s not just the physical aspect,” she states in a somber tone. “There is also another—often overlooked—element to being a Dominant. You may have scenes that challenge you emotionally and may cause you internal conflict.” She stops pacing and looks at us thoughtfully. “Never dismiss your emotions, and do not lose sight of the fact that you are responsible fortwopeople’s safety and well-being.”
I appreciate Alana’s advice. I know myself well. It would be easy for me to forget that in my desire to not disappoint the sub I’m scening with.
Alana continues, “Be aware that your submissive will be extra sensitive to your emotions during a scene. If you ever get the sense that the scene feels ‘off’ to you, your sub will immediately pick up on it. Should that happen, I suggest you call your safeword to stop it. Talk through it if you feel you can continue. Otherwise, end the scene and revisit it at a later date.”
She faces us and states, “As a Dominant, there is no shame in calling your safeword. Let me repeat that in case you missed it. A Dom should feel no shame in refusing to play out a scene that makes them uncomfortable. We expect our submissives to be open and honest about their limits, and we must be equally honest with them—and ourselves.”
Alana frowns. “It is easy to get caught up in the power that comes from giving our subs what they want. However, that power can steer a Dominant in a dangerous direction.”
The entire class is riveted on her, every student responding to the somber tone of her voice.
“When you agree to a scene, you must not only be prepared mentally, but youmustbe qualified to use the tool or technique. It is an inexcusable breach of trust to scene unless you know exactly what you are doing.”
She pauses for a moment. “Because, if you don’t, it can lead to accidents or…even death.”
I noticed the pained look in Alana’s eyes when she tells us, “I lost a good friend that way. The Dominant she was scening with lied to her about his experience because he wanted to impress my friend. The man had no business performing predicament bondage.” Her voice catches for a moment. “He ended up killing her during the scene in front of a live audience.”
I groan, sickened by the thought. Without warning, a vision of my friend Durov tied to his bed, bloody and bruised, flashes in my head. In an instant, I am taken back to that night, and I relive the intense guilt I felt on seeing the damage Samantha caused as an inexperienced Domme. In her desire to impress him, Samantha caused Durov incredible pain. I have never been able to forgive myself and that night will always haunt me…
Alana turns to the whiteboard and writes the word“Communication”in capital letters.
She then explains that communication can take many forms, including a formal contract. “Normally, a contract is part of the fantasy, much like a prop. It can be erotic and sexy for both partners to sign a document entitling one partner to exclusive rights over another person’s body and will.
“Although very few people who practice BDSM actually use one, a contract can act as a useful guide for documenting pertinent information for both partners. Think of it as a reference sheet for everyone involved. But it’s important to note, a BDSM contract isnota legal document and cannot be used as evidence in a court of law.”
Surfer Boy chuckles, catching her attention and she immediately asks, “What do you find so funny, Mr. Slater?”
A smirk plays across his face when he answers, “I’m just imagining some idiot going up to a judge and handing him the contract to prove his innocence. That joker would be laughed right out of the courtroom.”
“Which is why it would be remiss of me not to mention it,” she states dryly. “Unfortunately, there are predators who pose as Dominants, and they purposely misinform submissives, making them believe such a contract is legally binding and cannot be broken.”
I shake my head, disgusted by the misuse of power.
“For most Dominants, formal contracts are unnecessary. However, itisvital that you know your partner’s limits and any items that are deal breakers for them.”
The lone female student in the class raises her hand.
“Yes, Miss Reid?”
“How exactly do you find that out?”
Alana smiles. “I’m glad you asked.” Walking back to the whiteboard, she informs us, “There are certain things you should ask whenever you meet a potential partner for the first time.”
