Page 45 of A Master's Destiny
He looks at me with compassion. “You need to talk to Samantha about what happened tonight.”
I frown as a flood of guilt washes over me. “I specifically told you I didn’t want to talk about it.”
“Trust me, buddy, it needs to be addressed right now,” Anderson insists. “I know you too well.”
Samantha says with concern, “What is he talking about, Thane?”
I close my eyes and wish I could disappear. But the warmth of the alcohol flowing in my veins lowers my inhibitions, and I find myself detailing what happened. I start at the awkward moment when I saw my mother’s lookalike and tell her the rest up to the final moment after the wax burned my submissive’s skin.
Samantha looks at me with sympathy I do not deserve.
When I finish my story, Anderson adds, “He wants to quit.”
“You can’t do that!” Samantha exclaims.
“There’s no excuse for the mistake I made. If I could hurt someone with a fucking candle, what right do I have to call myself a Dom?”
Samantha reaches out and touches my hand. “I know you don’t want to hear this, but you should look at it as a gift.”
“Gift?” I snarl. “What an asinine thing to say!”
Samantha doesn’t flinch at my anger—or my words. “I need you to hear me out, Thane.”
I glare at Anderson, not wanting any part of this.
He just smiles while he fills my glass with more whiskey.
“Making a serious mistake early on as a Dominant will serve you well in the future,” she insists.
I shake my head, feeling as if I’m being coddled when I deserve zero sympathy from her—or anyone. I have no patience for it.
“Listen to me,” she demands.
I grit my teeth as I wait for her to speak.
“The memories of seeing her in pain will never leave you.”
I unconsciously grimace, knowing what she is saying is true.
“But those memories will keep you alert, Thane. You will never face a scene the same way again because you know the damage you can cause.”
Samantha looks deep into my eyes. “You should be grateful it was a mistake that had no lasting effects. Based on what you said, you reacted quickly, and she was given immediate medical care.”
“Still, I betrayed her trust.”
Pain clouds Samantha’s eyes when she says, “No, Thane. What I did to Durov was a betrayal of trust. You simply failed to check the temperature of the wax.”
“But I knew better.”
“Youdidknow better, but you were in a new environment with a new sub, and you were thrown by seeing a doppelganger of your mother. You are only human. Humans make mistakes all the time.”
I frown, unable to reconcile my failure.
“I know you,” she states with conviction. “You will never allow yourself to make the same mistake again, regardless of the type of scene it is. Because of the pain you caused, you will be vigilant about testing all of your equipment. But it encompasses even more than that. You will see every aspect of the scene with new eyes and be a better Dom because of it.”
I shake my head.
“Yes, Thane. I know this because I’ve lived it. I failed as a Dominant in the vilest way a person can. But the ugly truth is, even though I thought of myself as a Dominant, I wasn’t one—not even close. I didn’t realize it at the time, but I never put my submissive’s needs ahead of my own. I was playing at being a Dominant, and I relished having my needs fulfilled. It wasn’t until I came to care more about my submissive than myself that I stopped being a danger to us both.”
