Page 87 of Disgraced (Russian Sinners 3)

I followed along. Nobody had ever been able to calm down my rages like Scarlett. Her touch alone was enough for all my reason and sanity to come back.

We walked in silence, all the way to my office.

“Sit down,” she ordered gently, pushing me into a loveseat. “Whiskey?”

I nodded, watching her every move. She moved gracefully, comfortable in her skin. And she looked beautiful. I wanted to tell her the moment she bumped into me how stunning she was. The dress hugged her curves in a way that made my cock twitch.

She handed me the glass and I was surprised when she remained. She sat on the armrest of the seat. I took a gulp of the drink and offered her some. She shook her head.

“Why did you stay?” I asked her. It was her perfect chance to leave and yet, she stayed. “Brian would have fought us all to take you back home.”

“Would you rather I leave?” she answered with a question.

“You know I want you here,” I told her. There was a light nod as she watched me pensively. I wondered what thoughts ran through that pretty head of hers. I yearned for her trust and love. But I didn’t exactly earn it, did I? “Scarlett, I want to start over.”

She gnawed on her lip, her eyes zeroed in on the window, although it was dark outside and you couldn’t see anything through it. Dread settled in the pit of my stomach and the fear gripped me.She's going to leave me too.

“I don’t want to start over,” she countered, her voice calm. So opposite of the anguish I was feeling right now. Her eyes returned to me, her head tilting sideways as she watched me. “I want to know why you lied to me. Why do you want to marry me if you love someone else? Why did you kidnap me? If we are to do this, I want honesty. We both started this off wrong.”

Her words gave me hope. But she was right to ask for honesty. She deserved it; she deserved the best.Fuck, where do I even start?

“I told you Irina was going to marry me. It was before my brothers and I accumulated our wealth and power. Truth was, she was just stringing me along till she got a better candidate. Richer, more powerful, with a parentage line that actually acknowledged him.”

Scarlett didn’t move or offer any words. She sat waiting for me to continue, and I wondered if she’d walk away after she learned the truth regardless.

I took a deep breath. “It felt like a betrayal and I didn’t take it well. After that, I worked harder to accumulate more money and power to prove myself I was worth something. Or prove to people that had abandoned me… my parents, the woman… that I’m better than they gave me credit for. But all along, I struggled with the knowledge that I wasn’t worthy.”

Her small hand landed on my shoulder and squeezed gently. Her touch was the comfort I needed.

“You are worthy,” she murmured softly. “No matter what, you should always remember that.” Even after all I have done to her, she still thought so. “And don’t forget your brothers.”

My lip curved into a half smile. “Yes, I have my brothers. They’ve always come through.” Scarlett was perceptive and exactly the kind of woman I needed by my side. “My brothers and I had a hard upbringing. First the orphanage.” I took a deep breath. I never knew pouring myself out would be so hard. “Dimitry and Nikolai would have survived it, but I kept getting sick. The only reason I survived was because of my brothers. Dimitry stole food to keep me fed. The cold winters, he and Nikolai would keep me warm as best as they could with the nothing we had. When the chance arose to join the mafia, Dimitry took it. He never said it but he took it to keep me alive. He was worried I’d perish if we had another winter in the orphanage without heat.”

Scarlett’s arms came around me. “I’m so sorry, Sergei.”

I took her comfort. Fuck, I needed her comfort.

“Dimitry and Nikolai taught me to shoot, kill, defend myself, but have always protected me. When Boris, the leader of the mafia at that time, would go mad and on a rampage to hurt anyone, my brothers always sheltered me. Dimitry would taunt him so he’d get the beating, not me.” I had never told any of this to Irina. Maybe instinctively I knew she wasn’t the one for me. Maybe a part of me ensured she couldn’t have leverage over me. “My brother Nikolai has a scar across his face. Boris gave it to him because he protected an innocent man. See, I barely have any scars because Nikolai and Dimitry got most of them.”

“They must be amazing brothers,” she murmured softly.

“Imagine the disgust when I learned Boris was actually my biological father.” Her sharp inhale was the only sound in the room. “How was I to tell my brothers that my biological father made us all go through hell? They endured beatings and scars on my behalf and my father was dishing them all.”

“Why would your father do that?” Her voice was a whisper.

“He was fucking mad,” I muttered. “Crazy. I never told him I found out he was my father, and I never told my brothers either. You are the first person I’ve ever said it out loud to. And then Irina pretty much spat at me. I was sure no decent woman would ever want me.”

“I hope you know what Irina did to you is not decent.” Her fingers brushed across my cheek.

“I know now. But when I was making the arrangement with your father, I was so lost and fueled by rage and self-disgust. I felt unworthy but I still wanted a family. My own woman and children. Your father had a type of family I wanted one day. So I seized the opportunity when it presented itself. I’d bail your father out financially, keep his financial difficulties a secret, but he’d give me you in marriage. He was a man of his word and I knew he’d keep it.”

She scoffed. “You didn’t think I was a bit too young for you?”

I grinned despite the situation. “It was the reason I agreed to wait eight years and not marry you on your eighteenth birthday.”

She rolled her eyes at me. “My brothers would have buried you if Dad agreed to marry me off on my eighteenth birthday.”

She was probably right. Her oldest brother objected to the arrangement from the beginning. Hell, all three of her brothers objected wholeheartedly. But her oldest was ready to murder me.

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