Page 88 of Disgraced (Russian Sinners 3)

“You are probably right,” I agreed. “Your father has been trying to break the engagement and pay me back the money with a hundred percent return. He cares a great deal about you.” Scarlett’s eyes glimmered. She loved her family too. “When I visited him eight weeks ago, I think he wanted to show me firsthand how much you resented the idea of marriage to me.”

She exhaled heavily. “That was you in my father’s office.” Her eyes were watching me intently. “I didn’t make a connection till Michail came to kidnap me that my father had a meeting with my intended husband that day. I just didn’t know it was you till Anja called me.” I wasn’t surprised to hear she had made a connection. Scarlett was smart.

“Yes, it was me. But what your father didn’t count on was that once I saw you, I was determined to have you. You were beautiful, and I knew I didn’t deserve you, but fuck it, Scarlett... I wanted you. I wanted it all with you.”

She wrinkled those delicate eyebrows of hers. “But you never even turned around.”

“I saw your reflection in the mirror that your father has above his mantle,” I told her. “You argued with your parents and then stormed off.”

“I saw Michail that day but never saw your face.” We watched each other in tense silence and I knew each word I spoke probably drove the wedge between us deeper. But if I don’t tell her everything, I was sure to lose her. “Did you orchestrate bumping into me in the hotel lobby?”

“No, that was pure luck.” I still couldn’t believe that it worked out that way. “I couldn’t believe you were in front of me. I took it as a sign. I wanted you to get to know me without the looming arranged marriage constraints. I kept telling myself if you gave us a chance, maybe you wouldn’t walk away from me. I convinced myself I just needed time with you so you would get to know me, and I would get to know you.”

She lowered her eyes, watching her hands folded in her lap. She was still seated on the arm rest of the loveseat. “I wasn’t exactly honest either. I shouldn’t have agreed to have dinner with a stranger, knowing I was promised to someone else.”

I guess we both had things to work through. As long as we both worked together, we’d be able to get through them.

“No more deceit,” I vowed to her. “I want to be a good man for you, solnce. I love you.”

“What?” There was shock on her face. “You- you love me?”

“I know I shattered what we started building,” I confessed, fear squeezing my heart. This fear of abandonment was hard to get rid of. “But I love you and want to earn your love. I know I messed up a lot. Especially in the last month. First I lied to you, I kidnapped your friend and then kidnapped you to keep you safe from the same men.”

“Wait, what? You kidnapped Anastasia?”

My ears rang, my head thumped. “Yes, I received a threat. They were following you and her. They threatened to hurt you if I didn’t give them Anastasia.”

“Oh my God, Sergei.” Her face portrayed disbelief and I felt like the worst scumbag. “How could you? And why would Anja say you didn’t kidnap her?”

“She wanted to give me a chance, I guess. She is a much better person than I am.” I took a deep breath in and then exhaled. “I am so sorry for everything I have put you through, Scarlett. But trust me when I say, I only wanted to protect you. I will always protect you and our family.”

Scarlett stood up, stepping away from me.I’m losing her. And fuck, it hurt worse than any bullet. But I couldn’t blame her. No woman would stay through all this with anyone. Even less one that was as unworthy as me.

“This next thing I have to tell you will be hard,” I started. I promised her no more lies and deceit. I would have to deliver, no matter the consequences. “Boris got to Anja. There was a shootout. She threw herself in front of my brother and took a bullet for him. Boris took the second bullet meant to kill her. It turns out Boris is Anja’s father too. Her biological father. She’s in the hospital. The doctors are doing all they can. But you know her, she is strong. She’ll pull through.” She had to. Because I only learned today she was my blood sister.

Tik. Tok. Tik. Tok.That fucking clock was the only noise in my office. The clock and the blood pumping in my brain.

“How could you keep that from me?” Scarlett’s voice was soft and low, an accusation in her eyes.

“I wanted to wait till she woke up to tell you.”

“I want to go see her.”

“I am sorry, we can’t. You’d be endangering her and yourself.” I took a deep breath. “Please Scarlett. I don’t want to lose you too.”

My woman stood there, mere two feet away from me but she might as well be on another continent. With each word I spoke, she was slipping further and further away. I wanted to shout that I loved her, that I needed her. Instead, I watched her, trying to memorize every curve of her body, every line of her face.

“This is just too much,” she murmured and my heart sank further. “I- I just need time to process it all.”

She turned around and left, her steps barely audible. Or maybe my heart screamed so bad in agony, drowning out the sounds of everything else.

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