Page 72 of Final Chance At Love (Chance At Love Duet 2)

Betty hugged me. “Gemma, you finally admit you have feelings for him and you are not over him… this is good.”

I looked at her with a blank stare. She then said, “C’mon, Gemma. You’ve been keeping it all in. You always do. Sometimes you just need to say what you feel. You worry me with all the feelings you keep inside.”

“I think I told Rick earlier in the evening,” I crackled. “Twice in one evening must be a record for me.”

“I’m tired,” I whispered to her. “I told myself to enjoy myself with him while it lasted, but truthfully I wanted it forever.”

“Gemma, tell him how you feel.”

The room was silent and the only sound breaking that silence was the sound of waves crashing against the shore in the distance.

She wrapped me in her arms and tears swelled in my eyes. “Promise you’ll think about it. He should know how you feel.”

“Okay,” I agreed with a shaky voice and tears threatening to flow. “I’m really tired. Deila had a date so the guys are the only ones still up.”

“Go to bed. I’m sure you are emotionally and physically exhausted! You look like shit.”

“Gee, thanks,” I sighed.

I left her room and headed to mine. I wiped my tears pooling in my eyes. I walked with my head bent down and ran straight into Kristoff. I glanced up into his beautiful face and grimaced inwardly. He was exactly what I didn’t need right at that moment.

“Were you crying?” Kristoff asked, taking my chin with his fingers and leaning his face closer to mine.

“You wish,” I responded. “Why would I cry?”

“I don’t like to see you upset.” Kristoff's deep voice rumbled close to my lips. “Who upset you?”

You, idiot!

“Nobody, Kristoff. I’m just tired… exhausted actually.”

“We should talk,” he demanded. “About everything.”

I jerked my head out of his fingers.

“Why can’t you talk to your blonde admin and leave me alone?” I objected, realizing I sounded like a jealous ex-girlfriend.

His face was so close to me, all I had to do was lean forward slightly and our lips would touch.

“She is not my admin. She is an old friend who I tried to use to make you jealous. It backfired when you left me. From the moment you walked into my office, there has been nobody else for me, just you.”

There was sincerity in his voice. I wanted to tell him there would be nobody else for me for as long as I live. But I resented the idea that he’d think it was ok to make me jealous. It felt like manipulation and I wasn’t willing to have another manipulative relationship.

“Kristoff,” I started before I lost my nerve. “I think it’s time I was honest with you about my past and my marriage.”

He stilled, his eyes full of concern.

Taking a deep breath, I began. “Jack… my late husband was jealous, extremely jealous. Ironically, he was the unfaithful one but it made him paranoid that if he was cheating, so was I. It turned him into an abusive husband, both physically and emotionally.”

Why was it so hard to share my emotions with him yet my body I gave in a heartbeat?I was letting him see all of me.

I took another deep breath and continued. “Since his death, I’ve been trying to heal and make myself stronger. I promised myself I’d never let that happen again. And then I met you. You made me feel things I had never felt before. You made me feel wanted, desirable, and sexy. And you respected my opinions. But you also scare me with your jealousy and need to control. Your jealousy over nothing scares me, Kristoff. It takes me back to the hell I had lived through with my late husband. And using that blonde to show me how fast you’ve moved on made me feel like shit.”

For a moment I thought Kristoff was going to say something but he was smart enough to stop himself. It was as if he instinctively knew this was the turning point for both of us.

“But you actually did me a favor. Because when I saw you with her, I decided I wouldn’t let anyone treat me that way again. I am not yours to own and control, Kristoff. It is my choice to give myself to you, and regardless if we are together or not, I need your trust. We are having babies together and despite our own painful past experiences, we’ll need to trust each other. For our children’s sake.”

I felt relieved now that I got that off my chest. I felt stronger and lighter. He went to say something and I put my hand against his chest.

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