Page 29 of Bound

“Whiskey, single malt,” Ryan says gruffly, and I arch a brow at him. “Please.”

Loki chuckles, obviously remembering all the times I pulled him up on poor manners.

“Lexi?” Ash asks, and I think it takes her a little by surprise as she jumps.

“Same, please…” she replies, raising her perfect eyebrows at him.

“Asher Vanderbilt,” he says, heading over to what looks like a drinks cabinet.He’s such a cuntwaffle sometimes!

“You can call him Ash,” I tell her, earning a raised brow from the devil himself, although he doesn't say anything further as he turns and starts preparing drinks.

I pull Lex towards one of the sofas, heaving a sigh of relief as I sit down in the soft cloud-like seat.

Loki and Jax come to sit opposite us on the other sofa, taking up the whole fucking thing.Bloody massive bastards.

“Loki Thorn,” my fallen angel announces, leaning forward. “And this hulking piece of real estate,” here he pauses to wink at me, and although I roll my eyes, my face heats fifty shades of crimson, “is Jax Griffiths.”

Jax just nods at Lex, then at Ryan who grabs his drink off Ash and comes to stand behind me. Ash brings me over a fruit juice mocktail, and I’m touched that he somehow knew I wanted to keep a clear head for this.

“Thanks,” I say, and his grey eyes soften ever so slightly, his lips twitching in response.

Kai hands Jax an orange juice, which makes Jax rumble something that no doubt was rude under his breath, and passes Loki a bourbon. He sits down on one of the cream silk chairs with a wine glass of clear liquid, which I'm guessing to be sake.

“Kai Matthews,” he tells Lex and Ryan, giving them a small smile.

Finally, Ash returns with what I think is whiskey for himself, and sits on my other side, even though there is a vacant chair to my left.

I take a sip of my drink, loving the burst of pineapple and coconut on my tongue.

“So,” I begin, taking a deep breath and setting my drink down on the walnut coffee table in front of me, and turning to face Lex with Ryan in my peripheral vision. “How did you know where I’d be this morning?” I ask, as it’s been bothering me since I first saw them.

“Sammi told us,” Lex replies breezily. “She used to work at Grey’s, remember?”

And suddenly it hits me, my eyes widening. I knew I recognised Richard’s receptionist.

“Shit! I thought I’d seen her before,” I exclaim, inwardly rolling my eyes at the fact that I didn’t guess who she was.

“Wait, Payne’s receptionist told you we were there?” Ash cuts in darkly. His warm hand comes to rest on my neck, his fingers lightly playing with that sensitive spot between my neck and shoulder, sending tingles racing across my skin straight to my now pebbled nipples.Twatwaffle.

“Please don’t be cross, Ash,” Lexi begs, her eyes flitting over my shoulder before coming back to rest on me. “We’ve been so desperate, and she knew that. I know she probably shouldn’t have told us, but I can assure you she didn’t tell anyone else. She’s one of us.”

Ash just hums in response behind me, so I decide to try and focus on something else.

“Why weren't you at Mum’s funeral?” I ask, feeling a chill as I look at her. There’s a sharp pain on my hand, and I bring my finger up to see that I must have been picking at my cuticles, my index finger is bleeding around the nail bed.

Lexi tuts, grasping my hand and inspecting my finger. She reaches into her trouser pocket, pulling out a tissue to wrap around it, all while keeping my hand in hers.

“We didn’t know,” she tells me sadly, her eyes glistening and making the green colour shine like grass after it’s rained.

“The first we knew was when we finally managed to get hold of Adrian’s secretary who told us that it had already happened and was a quiet, family only affair,” Ryan cuts in, his voice rough. I glance at him to see his jaw is tightly clenched, his fist gripping his glass.

“I don’t understand,” I tell them, my confused gaze fliting between the two of them, then settling on my hand in Lexi’s. “I wasn’t there either,” I admit softly, a tear escaping my eye, and slowly making its way down my cheek, my throat thick. “I was too...fucked up, sedated for three weeks, and by the time I was compos mentis, it was weeks later.”

It’s the one thing, apart from the argument I had with her, that I am ashamed of. I was too lost in my grief to attend my own mother’s funeral. But to know that she may have been...alone.Why would Adrian do that?

I feel Ash shift closer to me, his warmth caressing my back as his hand moves to rub soothing circles on my upper back.

“Oh, Lilly Bear,” Lex murmurs, squeezing my hand. “Don’t blame yourself, love, it’s not your fault. Any of it.” More tears drip into my lap at her words, yet I know that what she is saying is true, and a small part of me is beginning to let go of the blame. “Do you, do you know where she’s buried?” Lex asks gently, and my head snaps up, my heartbeat thrashing in my ears.

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