Page 8 of Let Me Love You (Excess All Areas 5)

She loved Asher in her own way and could see the shape of a future with him. But she thought she’d have time. Time to fall out of love with Ben. Time to park the vision of her future that had filled her dreams since she was a child, when a relationship with him had looked like fun and playing house, through to eighteen, when she’d been mature enough to consider what a future with a man could look like. Throughout most of last year, when her feelings for Ben had gotten ahead of her, only for her to come to the realisation that she wanted him as badly as she knew she couldn’t have him.

“Well, I appreciate you having a Jewish service here instead of jetting off on one of those dreadful destination weddings. I’d not be able to travel if you did.”

And another thing.

Chaya had dreamed of both. A traditional series of events from theketubahsigning, and thebedeken. She wanted the veiling ceremony and a walk to a flower-coveredchuppah. But she also wanted a destination celebration. A second dress. A lake in Italy. Warm weather. Lazy days. Food. Her friends. One service focused on the joy of her traditions and faith, the other focused on celebrating with friends.

They’d “compromised”, opting to go without themechitza, against his family’s wishes, to just have the one ceremony. If she was only having one party, there was no way she was splitting the room in half with a curtain to keep genders separate. Her friends of all faiths could dance and sit with their girlfriends and boyfriends.

Loud voices echoed from the hallway and Chaya stood to greet her family. Her two nephews waved as they ran in the direction of the garden.

“Chaya,” her father said, hugging her. “How was work?”

“Long,” she groaned, reaching for her mum to hug her too.

Her second-oldest brother, Noah, flicked her hair as he walked by. In an equally mature act, she pulled her tongue out at him, making his four-year-old daughter, Janina, giggle.

She caught sight of one of their save the date cards on Rachel’s bookshelf. She’d sent Nan and the band them after a painfully protracted discussion with Asher. But she’d argued they both had compromises to make in observing theirmitzvahs. Like her decision of whether to use a scarf to keep her real hair from all other men than her husband, or to invest in asheitel, a wig to keep her own hair hidden, as her mother did.

Everything felt…rushed.

Not in a doubt kind of way.

Okay, maybe in a doubt kind of way. But only because, like the perfect coffee, they’d not given their relationship time to percolate properly.

“This is what I dreamed of for you,” her father said, putting his arm around her, and she leaned into him as she had from being young. “Marrying into a devoted family and us all coming together to celebrate. It’s good of Daniel and Rachel to include us.”

“Yeah, they’re lovely.” She watched her mum chatting with Rachel and Daniel. “They’ve been so welcoming.”

She felt a twinge of guilt, thinking about how Ben’s family had made her theirs too.

Her phone vibrated, and she reached for it. “Sorry, Dad. I just need to check this in case it’s work. There’s a patient I wanted an update on.”

She stepped into the garden where Asher's sister sat on a bench, watching the children sprint around, chasing a football. Waving, she opened her phone.

I need you.

Ben.

Her gut reaction was to leave. Hop in a taxi. Find out where he was. He’d never sent her a message like that before. Usually, he was casual.Wanna go grab sushi? Heading to the cinema, wanna meet up?

What did he need her for?

She wondered if it was to do with the news she’d seen that morning. How Ben had been so drunk he’d fallen off the stage and hurt his ribs. Perhaps he was embarrassed. Perhaps he felt out of control and needed her help to get things back in hand. Perhaps he wanted to reassure her he was fine. Or get her opinion on his injuries. Perhaps he wondered why she hadn’t bothered to check on him.

When Luke had gone off the rails, Ben’d once said to her that it would never happen to him because he had her to look out for him and keep on the straight and narrow. Had their time apart proven that theory?

She couldn’t just leave the party, even as guilt about letting Asher talk her into spending less time with Ben filled her. She’d promised Ben she wouldn’t disappear on him. But she had, capitulating to Asher’s concerns about the amount of time they spent together.

Dots appeared on the screen.

I know what you explained. About Asher. But…it’s Nan. She’s collapsed and is in hospital. Can you come? I need your help, Chaya. Please.

“Shit.” Her heart lurched. There was no place else she needed to be more. Hurrying back into the conservatory, she scanned for Asher, who was chatting with both dads. “Sorry, Asher. But I have to go.”

“Your patient?”

She could lie, make it easier on herself. On Asher. But she couldn’t. It wasn’t who she was. “No. It’s Nan, Ben’s grandmother. She collapsed, and the family would like my support.”

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