Page 27 of Let Me Love You (Excess All Areas 5)

This room had been her sanctuary since the day Ben had moved in.

This room had always been her safe space.He’dalways been her safe space.

“Get up,” she said, tapping her fingers against her cheeks firmly, a step down from a slap. “Just get up.”

As she stood, she noticed one small thing. Thehamsakeyring she’d hooked over the corner of the mirror. She ran her fingers over the silver and blue amulet, then left it hanging. It hadn’t brought her the protection and blessings she’d hoped.

Ben could keep it.

Hurrying down the stairs, she made a plan. She’d do the same as Ben had. She’d take all of her stuff home, then box up the stuff he’d left at hers.

And she’d do it all before going home to Asher to cook dinner and hear all about his day with his brother.

It took four trips from the hall to her car to get all her things in there. Just as she closed the trunk on the last run, the throaty roar of Ben’s car turned onto the street.

The grin on his face confused her. How could he be so damn happy to see her leaving, to see her at all after their last conversation? It couldn’t have hurt more if he’d slapped her.

Tears stung but she bit the side of her tongue to chase them away. There was no way he was getting that satisfaction from her. When he opened the car door, she glared at him.

“You don’t need to look so happy about this. It’s cruel,” she said as he finally stepped out of the car.

He stopped in front of her, puzzled for a moment. “What? Oh, god. No. Jesus, Chaya. Nan’s awake. And she doesn’t seem to have suffered any long-term complications. Well, nothing we can’t manage.”

“That’s the best news, Ben.” And a total relief that it wasn’t seeing her leave that made him look so happy.

“Fuck me, Chay. I think I would have broken if she’d not come out of this.”

He hugged her tightly, lifted her up and spun her around slowly. Something they’d done a million times before. Suddenly, he stopped spinning her and put her down. “Sorry. Habit.”

“It’s okay.” It wasn’t. To her overtaxed heart, body, and soul, it was anything but.

“Shit.” Ben looked towards his open front door. “What a fucking rollercoaster of a day.” He rubbed his hands over his face. “Look, Chay, I’m—”

Chaya’s phone rang, and she glanced at the screen to see Asher's name. He rarely called, was much more of a messager. Looking straight at Ben, she answered. “Hey.”

Ben held her gaze, leaning back on the bonnet of his car.

“Hey, Chaya,” Asher said. “Cufflinks…do I go silver or gold? What works best with everything else?”

“Gold. It’ll work with the dress.” The dress she’d missed her second fitting for. A patient had needed her. At least, that’s what she’d told herself. But, if she’d really wanted to, she could have made it.

“Cool. Thanks. What are you up to?”

She held Ben’s gaze. What could she say? I’m here with Ben, behind your back, again? “Decided to pop out to the gym.”

Her gut tightened at the lie. Perhaps she’d make it so it wasn’t atotallie. She’d drop her things at home and then go work out. Ben raised an eyebrow.

“Okay. Go easy. You’ve been working hard.”

Guilt. Nausea. Stars spinning in her peripheral vision. She placed her palm on the boot of her car. “I’ll remember that,” she said softly. “I’ll see you later.”

“When did you start lying?” Ben asked, although, bizarrely, there was no accusation in his tone.

“I’ve been lying to myself for years,” Chaya said quietly, then shook her head.

“Sorry, I shouldn’t have said that.”

“Why not? You’re right. I’m happy about Nan, I really am. I’ll pop in and see her. But I really should get going.”

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