Page 26 of Let Me Love You (Excess All Areas 5)

“Mum, when you were matched with Dad, did you ever have doubts?”

Her mum chuckled softly. “There was so much to discuss and agree on. Your dad has always been bossy. And, at first, I was a little intimidated by it. But he’s always been bossy in our best interests. And that comes from a place of caring about us. Have you and Asher argued?”

“No.” She looked down at the lovingly made breakfast. “It all seems fast and I think that’s what scares me.” She didn’t mention Ben.

“Asher is a good man of faith. And remember King Solomon, Proverbs. One who has found a wife has found goodness. He’ll treat you well, Chaya. He comes from a good family. Rachel and Daniel love you. You are blessed beyond measure.”

Her mum’s words settled her guilt. “Thanks, Mum.”

“You’re welcome, sweetheart.”

She ate the breakfast Asher had lovingly prepared and focused on gratitude instead. That he’d cared enough to look out for her. That he loved her enough to make plans to spend time with her after spending time with his brother, preparing for their wedding.

And she had to accept she’d been an emotional cheat.

Which made for a shit start to their relationship and made her a shitty person.

Operation Commit to Asher started right now.

After she’d cleaned up her dishes, she slipped on a pair of jeans that made her hips look good, and a white top that was both practical and sexy at the same time. Paired with her simple gold jewellery, the look was casual enough for a weekend but dressy enough to make her feel in charge of herself.

She drove over to Ben’s house and pulled up outside. There was no sign of his car on the street, a positive omen that he was out. It would all be a lot simpler if he wasn’t there.

“Do not think about how this is the last time you are going to do this,” she said out loud. And then bit the inside of her cheek to angrily force back the tears that threatened. “Day one of this being over. Done. Buried.”

Chaya let herself in and then spun the key off her keyring, placing it on the shelf. He’d been such a grump the day she suggested getting it for beneath the mirror. It had cost a tenner from IKEA, and he was all certain he could make one himself.

“Ben,” she called out, just to make sure he wasn’t there. “Ben?”

When the house remained silent, she blew out a breath. “Hold it together, babe,” she said to her reflection.

Looking down at the pile, she immediately noted some things were missing. Her wok, for one. She’d brought it over four months earlier when they’d decided to stay home and try to make a Chinese food banquet for Alex and Zoe. Wandering to the kitchen, she looked around for anything else of hers Ben might have missed.

She spotted one of her books on the corner of the counter and grabbed it. Then found her wok in the cupboard beneath it.

It was impossible not to think of the times they’d spent in the kitchen, cooking together, and listening to music. The lasagne disaster they agreed to never talk about. The minor kitchen fire caused by an overly ambitious attempt at making tempura. The amazing meringues they’d made for Mother’s Day last year.

Grabbing the book and the wok, she carried them to her pile at the bottom of the stairs before more memories overwhelmed her.

If he’d missed those two items, she wondered what else he’d missed. If she was going to do this, if she was going to leave Ben behind, this needed to be the last time she was here so she could sever the cord. She ran her fingers along the handrail they’d meticulously sanded back to its raw wood finish one muggy summer, remembering the splinters and dust and never-ending specks of white paint that just wouldn’t come off. Now it was smooth, and well-loved.

If things were different, this would be their house.

But it wasn’t.

A quick glance in the bathroom told her he’d grabbed everything. The same with the spot where she did her make-up. The window bottom looked empty, the space way tidier. Ben had never complained about her mess. Asher liked her to take her things with her when she stayed over. He’d said he wanted to wait for them to be married before she officially moved in, given it was only a few months away. Her agreement had enabled her to go up in his parents’ estimation. After all, modesty and resisting temptation went hand in hand, even though his parents must know they were sleeping together. The truth was, she’d argued they needed to understand how they worked together when they shared a space but had lost.

He’d reassured her they’d get along fine. With Ben, on the other hand, it already felt as though they’d lived together, given how often she had spent time there.

“Stop comparing,” she muttered.

She pushed the door open to her bedroom and—

“Oh, shit.”

Sitting down on the mattress, Chaya placed a hand on her heart and took a breath. Every single thing beyond the bed frame, mattress, and wardrobe, which now was empty with its doors wide open, was gone. The curtains she’d picked out. The bedding. Tchotchke from her desk. There wasn’t a sign of her left.

And it took her breath away.

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