Page 15 of Let Me Love You (Excess All Areas 5)

Ben smiled sadly. “That I do, but it won’t make my nan better any faster, will it?”

“Sickness has a way of humbling us all. But I promise you, we’ll give her the best care we can. Up you get.”

Before he realised what she was doing, she’d hoisted a hand under his and was helping him stand.

“I’m Brenna. If you need anything, let me know.”

“Thanks, Brenna.” He found Nan’s temporary waiting cubicle and stepped inside.

“Iz just went to find coffee if you want to call her to add one for you.” Matt sat on one side of her bed, his mum sat on the other.

Ben shook his head. “Caffeine is the last thing I need. My heart’s racing enough. How are you doing, Mum?”

“Well enough, I suppose. But I guess I need to realise your nan is not as infallible as I’ve believed all these years. I’ve been trying to find your Aunt Michelle, but her phone number now belongs to someone else called Kevin, and it doesn’t look like she’s been on her old social media pages for eighteen months. I’ve left messages, but we might never find her.”

Matt scoffed. “We don’t need Mum here. Nan’s going to live to be a hundred and ten, just so she can keep us in our place. And I refuse to believe anything else because I can’t imagine marrying Iz without her there.” He kissed the back of Nan’s hand softly.

“I’m just going to step outside and call your dad so he knows what’s going on. Here, take my chair.”

Ben sat down and placed his fingertips over Nan’s fingers. “Jesus, she feels cold.”

“Must have been a shock. Finding Nan like that. You did good getting her here so fast.”

“Don’t try and make me feel better. She shouldn’t be here at all.”

Matt looked at him sharply. “You take an ounce of blame for this, and I’ll kick the shit out of you.”

“What do you mean?”

Matt shook his head. “I know you. Let me guess. You went over to fix the tap. She took one look at the mess you’re in and told you to go sleep it off. And then she collapsed, and you can’t fix that.”

“Fuck off,” Ben muttered.

“No. You fuck off with that shit. No one blames you. Don’t start blaming yourself. You got her here. You did everything you needed to. Just like you’ve always done for all of us. But if you want to do us all a favour, either get over Chaya or get her back. But stop living in this half-world where she’s yours, yet with another guy.”

Ben slammed the chair backwards as he stood up. “You have no fucking clue.”

Matt sat back in the chair. “You seem to have forgotten I’m currently engaged to my best friend’s little sister and how well that all went. Pretty certain it nearly cost me the band.”

“But it didn’t.” Ben paced the room with his hands on the top of his head.

“Imagine there being this prehistoric rule in place,” Matt continued. “Where Luke told me I was never to place my hands on his sister. And I agree because I’m young and horny and quite happy to chase the girls in my year at school. But then, suddenly, she’s Iz. And I can’t see anyone but her no matter who I fuck. She’s there. Kind. Caring. Heart bigger than the shelter she works at. And she’s hot. So hot I only have to close my eyes and think of her and my dick gets all kinds of happy.”

“Don’t need to know all this, man.” Ben straightened the chair.

“Yeah. You do. Because one day, I got the chance to be the guy for her. To ignore all those rules and ties and emotions. Where I got to be her man. To hold her hand, to open doors for her, to kiss her, and to fuck her at the end of the day and make love to her in the morning. And I knew that there wasn’t a single thing I wouldn’t do to make it that fucking perfect for our whole lives.”

“You got a point to this?”

Matt stood up and stepped into Ben’s space. While Ben was the tallest, he knew how mean Matt could be in a fight. “I saw the way you held her out there in that corridor. And so did Asher. You always fucking wait. Always have. Auntie Pat always talks about how you took the longest to learn how to crawl because you couldn’t be arsed. Same with walking. And school. How things mechanically worked was the only thing you ever had any interest in. She tells the stories of you taking apart the toaster and the vacuum cleaner because you wanted to know what was inside. Because of that, you fell out of school into being a mechanic because Uncle Allan knew a guy who’d take you on as an apprentice. And you never left there.”

Ben shoved Matt back out of his space. “Because he never held me to shifts so I could play with the band whenever and wherever.”

Matt huffed. “And because he let us rehearse in the garage for free. And he paid you enough in overtime that you could help Jase and Alex out when they needed cash. And gave us free storage for all the equipment. And let you use the bays after hours to fix up Luke’s van that you never charged him for. Those were perks that balanced off against more money so you could help all of us. But, my point is, you’ve always waited. For what, I don’t know. But I know Chaya is going to walk down the aisle with Asher and, unless you help yourself, you’re just going to stand there and fucking watch.”

Fury rose in Ben. “You don’t know the first thing. I won’t ever be the groom at Chaya’s wedding because it will take place in a Synagogue and the Talmud says a wedding between a Jew and a non-Jew is prohibited and not recognised. And she cares about her kids being orthodox, which means I can’t be their dad because they need two Jewish parents. And her father would disown her if she tried to marry someone who wasn’t Jewish because interfaith marriage is seen as self-eliminating the bloodline or something. And let’s assume we could get past that, her family doesn’t like me. Because I drink and I play in a rock band. Oh, and the day I found her, I was looking for somewhere to fuck around outside of marriage, and her father used to say it was because I was four years older than her. But I think Asher’s like, ten years older than her, so my age has got fuck all to do with it. Anyway, I can’t fix any of those fucking things. So, Chaya has to give up everything to make it work. And she can’t. Because her faith and itsmitzvahs, its rules, and deeds, are really important to her because they are an unbreakable agreement with God. More important to her than me. You think if this was just about taking her in my arms and telling her it would all be okay that I wouldn’t do it in a fucking heartbeat?”

“So start moving on.”

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