Page 57 of Let Me Love You (Excess All Areas 5)

Ben smiled and indulged her right there in the middle of the pavement…sidewalk…whatever it was called here. He gripped the back of her neck and kissed her hard. “Besides that.”

“See the Brooklyn Bridge. Statue of Liberty. Top of the Empire State Building. Experiences, you know?”

Ben nodded. “We’ll figure out how to see them all before I have to be back for the gig tonight.”

“You don’t have sound check or anything?”

Ben shook his head. “Nah. The equipment was set up for last night’s show, so they don’t need me for anything.”

“Nan sends her love,” Chaya said as he opened the door to the diner.

“You saw her?”

“Yesterday, before I flew. She asked if I thought I could bring you all some scones, but I told her I was only bringing hand luggage and couldn’t fit them in. Plus, I wasn’t sure what the rules on importing baked goods were.”

“It’s just good Nan is feeling up to making scones.”

“She’s not, really. She’s still having some mobility issues on the left side of her body. But I think for you all, she would’ve tried.”

Once the server had seated them and they’d ordered, a full stack of blueberry pancakes and a fry-up for them to split, plus juice and more coffee, Ben took Chaya’s hand across the table.

“I wanted to wait until we got home, but I need to ask. How did it go with Asher? With your folks? I heard pieces from the guys through the girls.”

Chaya sighed. “It’s wrong to just want to live in this bubble where it’s you and me and we’re happy and there is nothing else to discuss, yeah?”

Ben smiled sadly. “It is, because we do need to deal with this shit. How about this? We talk about it in pieces. Until one of us feels like it’s enough, and then we carry on with our day.”

She nodded. “Okay. Well. It went about as well as you can expect. I felt awful. Sick to my stomach. I think Asher took it as well as he could. He called my parents before I saw them, so that felt like a hijack. I’ve cancelled everything. Got refunds where I could. I made a plan to pay them all back the rest when I have the money.”

“I can cover that for you.”

Chaya shook her head. “No. But thank you.”

“Why not, babe? It’s nothing to me. There is no need for you to keep paying for it.”

She squeezed his fingers. “What it would cost you is not the point. I dug this hole. I need to get myself out of it.”

The server arrived and delivered their food. Once they’d divided the plate as they always did, a third to Chaya, the rest to Ben, he looked over at her. “At some point, you’re going to realise that we’re in this together. You kept me sane when I was working as a mechanic, when the band was on the brink of falling apart. You came over that night after Matt and Jase fought outside Izabel’s charity gig, when I thought the band had just detonated. I want to be there for you too.”

Chaya cut a chunk of pancake and chewed it carefully. He knew a stalling tactic when he saw one.

After she swallowed, she sipped her coffee. “I know you do. And you know how you want to take things slowly? Go back to the beginning? Sharing finances is not something you do this early in a relationship.”

“This isn’t the same thing.”

“Isn’t it?” she asked, her brown eyes wide and honest.

“It’s not. We’ve…” Shit. She was right.

“You know I’m right.”

“Fine. But I guess selfishly, I want us to leave that behind us. I don’t want to think about that time you were engaged to another man, Chay. If all the debts are paid, we can move on.”

Chaya reached for his hand. “I’m sorry. It must have been hard for you.”

“I don’t think any of this has been easy for anyone.”

She took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. “I’m glad you said take a month, because it gave me time to stop feeling like I’m going to puke, thinking about what I’ve done. But I guess I’ve been so busy trying to manage my family and Asher and cancelling the wedding, I forgot we’d have to deal with the impact on us.”

---