Page 58 of Let Me Love You (Excess All Areas 5)

“We do.”

“Just say it, Ben. I’d rather hear it now than let it fester.”

“I felt abandoned by you. It hurt that you could switch our friendship off like that because some guy you were dating didn’t want you to talk to me. That hurt, as a friend. And the day the invitations arrived, Mum went over to my place to do a quick clean and mail check and stuff. She opened it and took a photo of it and sent it to me. I started drinking at ten thirty that morning. By the show, I could barely stand. My playing was so shit, my tech took over. They disconnected my guitar, and I was too fucking drunk to notice.”

Chaya pushed her food around, unable to look at him.

“Why did you send them out while I was away from home? On tour? Did you not think of sending me a head’s up? Even a text message to let me know they were going out?”

Finally, she looked at him, and he could see the devastation written on her face. “You want the truth? Asher didn’t want any of you to come, and we fought about it. And I think I was so busy thinking about how awful it would be formeif you all weren’t there, instead of how awful it might be foryouto actually be there. That was selfish and I’m sorry. I’m glad you told me, though. And I guess I have one last question. Do you think that…well…are you worried if we do this we might lose our friendship for good if it doesn’t work out?”

He leaned forward and gripped her hand. “I promise you, we won’t.”

“You can’t know that, though.”

“I do. As long as it’s just you and me in this…and we communicate and respect each other. We’re here because the idea of being with anyone else in the world, even a decent person like Asher, feels wrong. We know what’s at stake. And we’re in this for the right reasons. Because we’ve always loved each other and now we want to try beinginlove with each other. If it doesn’t work out, we can say we tried our best, and that should be enough to part cleanly. But it’s not going to, Chay. You and me? We’re meant to be. This vibe? We’ll talk through it and hold each accountable for being better people while we’re together. Do you know what would be really simple, Chay? Making love with you, becausethatwould hide the problem. Because you better believe I’ve dreamed about getting lost in your body. And that’s exactly what I’d do.Losemyself in it. For days. And we wouldn’t be having this conversation right now.” He took a deep breath, stacked some bacon on his fork, and gestured between the two of them. “This is why we’ll work, babe.”

When their plates were empty, their tummies full, and the bill paid, Ben led Chaya from the restaurant. “So, you’ve dreamed about getting lost in my body?” she asked.

Ben grinned. “Have you seen your body?”

“Four days a week, at CrossFit, when it’s telling me I’m unfit and must try harder.”

“Says the girl who can pull off a ninety-kilogram deadlift.” He squeezed her arse over her leggings. “I appreciate the definition. Listen,” he said, putting his arms loosely around her waist and kissing her softly. “I’m glad we talked. About all that stuff. I feel better. Lighter. I hope you do too.”

“I do.”

Chaya leaned her head on Ben’s shoulder in the terminal for their private jet later that evening. His hair, still damp from the quick shower he’d taken in the private aircraft terminal, smelled comfortingly familiar.

She was tired after their excursion and the gig.

They’d ended up taking the free Staten Island ferry from Lower Manhattan because one of the sites they’d checked said it was a fun way to see the Statue of Liberty without having to go onto the island. Once on board, she’d snuggled up against Ben’s side and he’d wrapped his arms around her while she’d threaded cold hands beneath his hoodie. She’d discreetly explored, running her fingertips over the ridges of his abs and stroking the skin an inch below the waistband of his jeans until he’d gripped her wrist, one eyebrow raised.

“Watch it, babe,” he’d warned.

Luke walked up and down the terminal, trying to encourage Zale to fall asleep in his arms before they boarded.

“You want to know something?” Ben said, threading his fingers through hers.

“What’s that?” Chaya said, loving the intimacy of it.

“I thought that when I got all this…the money and the private jets and things…I’d be happy. Eighteen months ago, we had nothing. We were broke. And any kind of success would have been welcomed. I used to think that, if we ever got to this, life would be made. We’d be laughing.”

“And you aren’t?”

“I’d be a prick to say anything bad about the money. But the worry about Nan. And trying to get to grips with trusting you again. And us. Those things are always there. Money or not.”

Chaya sighed. “You’re right, I guess.” Thoughts of her childhood flittered through her mind, reminding her just how much she missed her parents. “I’m holding out hope Mum and Dad come around.”

“We need to give them some more time.”

“I love the fact you just said we.”

“Quick,” Ben said as the door opened and they were encouraged to cross the tarmac to board. He grabbed her carry-on bag with his own and hustled them outside and onto the plane’s steps first.

“Why are we rushing?”

“We want the sofa.”

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