Page 53 of Love You Like That (Excess All Areas 4)

Nan sighed. “Because she’s scared of being on her own. Years of living with a gaslighting narcissist will do that to you. But isn’t this a conversation you should be having with your mum?”

“You know how she gets. All defensive. All I’ve ever heard is that every couple has their problems. But I’m looking at Matt and Iz. Sure, they had their problems when they first got together but they are making it work. And I see how Luke is with Willow. They’re a solid unit. And I see Cerys, how she challenges Jase to be a better person. I don’t know how they are doing it, but they seem to be able to function.”

Nan’s face softened. “And you want that for your mum?”

Alex rubbed his neck as he thought. “I just can’t help but think she’s settled, and for some reason, she feels like that’s all she deserves. And that nobody has it perfect. So, her not perfect is good enough. Or are Matt, Jase, and Luke all just kidding themselves that they’ve found something good but give it another year and instead of discussing rings and babies, they’ll all be glad to flee their houses to go to the States on tour now we’re being treated like a BFD?”

“BFD?”

“Big fucking deal.”

With a broad grin, Nan relaxed into her pillows. “Well, I’ve always known you were a big fucking deal. But you’ll always be my Alex who nicks everything I put on a plate.”

My Alex.

While some people spent their whole life drifting, wondering who they belonged to, he had an anchor waiting for him in a two-up two-down house in Chorlton. “Thanks, Nan. But yeah, I wonder if the lads will all regret it soon.”

Nan studied him for a moment, then nodded as if something had suddenly occurred to her. “Who are they?”

“Who is who?”

“The person, man, woman, they, or whatever those other gender names are who’s got you all mixed up.”

Zoe.

“What makes you think there is a person?”

“Because I wasn’t born yesterday, and you are a terrible liar.”

Alex sighed. “It’s Zoe.”

“Excellent.” Nan jiggled in a happy dance. “I like her. She’s got a fierce spirit beneath that resting bitch face.”

Alex grinned, “You can’t say that, Nan.”

“Why not? The girl looks moodier than sin half the time. When she was here during the Willow and Luke debacle, I watched her. Deep thoughts, like a rip tide. You don’t see them from the surface, but the water is treacherous beneath. She was as dedicated to getting Willow and Luke out of that mess as any of the girls at that table.”

“I’m glad you like her, Nan. It means a lot.”

Nan sighed. “Alex, my love. I don’t get all these new fancy terms for gender and sexuality and things. But it’s never mattered to me because I love you. You. Who you are. And I know this surer than I know the sun is going to rise tomorrow…you deserve love. So does your mum, but I don’t know that she’ll ever realise it. But you I have faith in. Someone will love every piece of you exactly as you are. Those relationships Matt and Jase and Luke are building, they’ll work because the lads are putting in the effort. Your dad never has. Fall, Alex. Fall hard. Love hard. Care hard. Trust me, it’s worth every effort.”

Whatever had troubled him enough to call her eased with her words. He touched her pearls. “Thanks, Nan.”

And when he hung up the phone, he knew what he had to do.

“So, my dad’s car went rolling back down the hill into the water with my little brother in the back,” Mark signed, mouthing to add emphasis to his story.

Zoe couldn’t help but laugh at the ridiculous story of his dad’s comedy of errors that had led to his brother needing to be rescued from a bank of rocks in the water. While the story itself had clearly been frightening, Mark’s deprecating humour and the fact no-one had been injured made it humorous.

Mark continued to sign. “And then as the car sinks a couple of feet, his little face appears at the window and salutes as if he’s going down with the ship.”

“You poor mum must have been horrified.”

“She was. The whole thing was videoed by some passer-by. Was one of the most viewed YouTube videos the year it happened.”

Zoe used her chopsticks to pick up the last delicious mouthful of chicken chop suey. She hadn’t realised how hungry she was until it had landed in front of her.

But no matter how tasty the food, no matter how witty the conversation, and no matter how attractive the man opposite her was, she couldn’t shake the disappointment that Alex had just let her go.

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