Page 54 of The Hallows Boys

I give her a closed-lipped smile, and she pushes the door all the way open and steps into my room. “Are you okay?”

She crosses the space, taking a seat on the end of my bed. I just shrug, words getting stuck in my chest when I try to answer her. I’m afraid I’ll start yelling and crying, so maybe silence is my best approach right now.

She presses her palms together in her lap, her lips twisting to the side like she’s contemplating what to say to me.

“I want to be able to give ya answers, darlin’, I just don’t know if I’ll have the ones you’re lookin’ for.” She sighs, her gaze connecting with mine.

I shake my head, shuffling my hips a little so I can sit up straight. “Just tell me what you know, gran, please. I just needsomething. Anything.”

She sighs. “Why don’t you ask me what you wanna know, and if I got the answer, I’ll tell ya.”

I nod. “Okay.” I comb through the millions of questions that I have in my mind, trying to find the ones that are the most pressing, but they all seem important right now. I swallow thickly. “Is my name even really Sage?”

She smiles at me, her voice soft. “Yes, baby. You were born Sage Grace Blackmore, January 14th, right down the road at Blackmore Hospital. Your daddy’s family founded our town way back in 1812 – they were a big an’ powerful family, loaded with property and money. Your mama and daddy didn’t want ya growin’ up here, so they took you away right after you were born.”

I search her gaze – eyes that are so identical to my mother’s – and find honesty sitting in them. “But why? Why leave? Why change our name?”

She blows out a heavy breath. “I wish I knew, Sage. Last time I talked to your mama was the day she left for California. She said she wanted a different life for ya, then just disappeared. Never called or visited again.”

“You never tried to find them?” I bite onto my top lip, hoping my question doesn’t come across as accusatory.

She presses her lips together for a moment. “No use lookin’ for people that don’t wanna be found, darlin’. I ain’t gonna chase someone that doesn’t want me to. I loved your mama, but she chose her path – and that was your daddy.”

I shake my head, looking down at my hands in my lap as I pick at my fingernails. “I just don’t understand, gran.”

She doesn’t say anything, but I can feel her watching me as comfortable silence cloaks the room. My brows pull down, and I look back at her to find her eyes kind.

“What were they like before they left? When you knew them?”

The corner of her mouth kicks up in a smile. “Happy. Two damn fools in love since the day they met.” She chuckles under her breath and continues. “I warned your mama about them bad boys, but she didn’t listen – never did, your mama. She was as stubborn as they came, and she went and fell in love with the baddest of ’em all. Your daddy was always gettin’ himself into trouble in one way or another, always hidin’ out in that cemetery with his friends.”

Yeah, creating a fucked up and twisted game.I want to say the words, but I don’t. I just let her continue.

“Your mama changed him, though. No one saw it comin’. She touched him with the sugar that ran through her veins and sweetened him up. Cleaned up his act and put him on a better path. Then they got pregnant with you, and nine months later, you were here with us. They were so happy when you were born, Sage. You hung the moon in their damn sky.”

Tears lick at the backs of my eyes, so I close them and try to picture my parents’ faces while she continues.

“Your mama was made for more than this little town, baby. And your daddy’s family had the money to take ’em far away. I always wondered if it had to do with him bein’ the last Blackmore. Maybe he didn’t want what came with the name here, but we’ll never know now.”

My vision is blurred with tears when I open my eyes again, but seeing my grandmother’s face beaming with happiness as she digs back into her memory makes my stomach warm.

“I wish I had more I could tell ya, Sage. I really do. But I hope you can sleep a little easier knowin’ that they were good people, and they loved you more than anythin’ else on this earth.” She stands up, stepping toward me and putting a hand on my shoulder. “And don’t think we ain’t gonna talk about where you were all night. I’m old, but I ain’t stupid.”

A laugh bubbles up inside of me at that, and when she raises her eyebrows, I wipe my tears as laughter fills me. She clicks her tongue, squeezing my shoulder once before turning and leaving my room.

When the door has clicked shut behind her, I grab my phone and start deleting everything, because if Sage Lindman no longer exists, I don’t want any proof she ever did to begin with.

I start with all my social media accounts, deleting each and every one without a word to anyone, and then I scroll through the hundreds of photos saved to my camera album.

Tears slip down my face as I swipe through, bombarded with memories of my old life, my friends, my family. I press my eyes closed, saying a silent goodbye to all of it – including Sage Lindman.

Because I am Sage Blackmore. I can feel it deep in my soul now.

I delete every single photo on my phone, then all my contacts, promising to refill this same phone with new memories – here, in Blackmore. Right where I fucking belong.

* * *

The next morning, I wake up feeling a little more confident. Almost as if I metaphorically wiped the slate clean and woke up in my true form.

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