Page 53 of Unforgivable

Lyri

Bea left hours ago, and Sarj is asleep, so I braved mucking up Inuit's bed to sleep near the sick pup. I was restless. I think I'm afraid that if I fall asleep too deeply, I'll have one of my nightmares and wake up poor Sarj. After tossing and turning and entirely and utterly ruining Inuit's perfect pleats, I just gave up and carefully made my way downstairs.

It's a good thing I did because the central fireplace is running low. I stack some more wood on the dying embers, poking them to get the flame started again. I can feel the cold seeping into my stocking feet from the floor. The snow is over, and the temperature has dropped. It's frigid outside tonight.

Rhet and Thjis come back home first. I'm not sure where Ezra or Inuit are. Or, for that matter, the truck, but I can see the two oversized male silhouettes walk out from the woods from the kitchen window. A moment later, the soft glow of the barn light comes on.

I figure I may as well go outside to welcome them home. I don't want to sleep without one of the males next to me.

It takes me only a few minutes to pull on my clothes. I smile to myself. I shifted and ran around the house a few times today. It helped my hips.

The door to the barn is cracked open. In this cold weather, it would usually be shut up tight.

"Why did we bring her here? This female? You're getting attached. Today was fucking stupid. You know it, I know it."

"What the hell do you expect, Thjis? You want her to go?"

"That's not what I said. I just..."

I step forward, my gut churning, mouth open to say something, to defend myself, to plead with Thjis to just stop. That sense of security that was slowly enveloping me over the last couple of months is skittering away as doubts crash back in.

My mind goes back to the mirror. That female, she'll never be the same. Those scars will be there forever. Scars that tell my story. I'm a rankwhore. I seduced a male who belongs to someone else.

I'm so alone.

My foot scuffles on the floor, hay scattering when my toes kick something metal. It goes clattering over the wooden floor.

"Motherfucker," Rhet swears, blue eyes swinging my way almost immediately.

"I," I sound breathless like my chest is caving in from this pressure I feel, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to... I was coming out to just-"

"Your hair," Blue-eyes lights up as he murmurs. "It looks great, beautiful."

I pat my hair, the bob bouncing and glossy from the half-bottle of deep conditioner Bea poured over my head. It does look so much better, but the joy of having a decent haircut is gone.

Thjis is staring at the milling, sleepy cows with a stony look on his face.

"Let's go inside, pretty," Rhet says softly.

I shake my head. "I'd like to talk to Thjis."

I watch the dark male's fists tighten. Rhet nods and leaves the barn without another word.

"If you don't want me here, don't want me, then why do you kiss me and touch me? Why do you spend time with someone you hate?"

"I don't hate you," he responds immediately.

"It sounded like you did... just now," I say in a voice breaking with tears.

"I don't hate you," he says again.

"But you don't want me here," I whisper.

Dark eyes, bleeding with emotion, capture mine. "I think you'll destroy us," he says quietly. "You're a female who's worth fighting for, who's worth destroying other males for... even if they're your own brothers."

"Should I leave?" I ask him, letting the question hover in the air before it's whisked away as if it's nothing. At this moment, it means everything, but it's taken away, anyway.

He draws in a ragged breath. "No," he says. Warm arms wrap around me tightly, pulling me close as he buries his head in my hair. "Stay."

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