Page 54 of Unforgivable

We stand for a long minute. I let myself relax in his arms. My body is swaying gently with Thjis, but my mind is racing.

His wolf rumbles low in his chest. "It's not you. It's me." He goes still. "Shit, did I just say that?"

I force a tiny smile. "Yeah, you did. Explain? Please?"

His pulls tighter to him. I think he's hiding his face from me. "You know about my... my mate. It was awful. What I didn't tell you is that she didn't just fucking disappear for four years. For about a year, she was gone. Then I started to train. Got bigger and better and grew up a little. She popped up, over and over, for about two years. We..." his mouth twists angrily, "we fucked. For only about a couple of months. I stupidly thought that she was coming back to me. Instead, she was using me to make her chosen male jealous."

"I've seen females do that," I say quietly. "It works most of the time. But only with... t-truemates," I choke on the word. I hope Thjis doesn't notice.

I was never able to force myself to flirt with another male. My she-wolf wouldn't tolerate it, and I never had that confidence or the desire.

He nods. "Well, I found out she was still seeing him. I was her sidechick."

It surprises a laugh out of me. I wince at the nervous, high-pitch sound. I still feel off-kilter. I don't think I was ready to hear that I'm upsetting their world. I mean, I know I am, but it's different to hear Thjis say it out loud, especially when he's so gentle and... seductive with me.

He flashes a look my way, but before I can decipher the emotions in those dark eyes, they dart away again. "I hate jealousy games, Lyri. I... it sits wrong. She was battling for a male who didn't belong to her. It all made the rejection worse."

He takes a deep breath. "Until I truly gave her up..." he pats his chest. "Until my wolf truly gave her up, it fucking killed when she started screwing her male again."

I feel sympathy well up. "You were in pain?"

"Whenever they fucked, yes. It was my wolf... he wanted out. To hunt, to kill. Training kept him in line."

I rub my chest. My she-wolf wanted... well, OK, still wants, to kill Cloe.

"Does it get better, Bear?"

He gives me a smile for the nickname. "As soon as my wolf realized that she wasn't worth his fight."

He kisses me softly then pulls back, only far enough to look into my eyes. "Promise me something, Lyri?"

I nod mutely.

"Promise me you'll not pit us against each other? Promise me you'll just be with us, each of us." His dark eyes, usually so cold, are pleading with me. He's terrified of me, I realize suddenly. My broken Bear.

"I won't ever try and break you up," I say immediately. Thjis gives me too much credit. I'm not capable of playing games, despite my not-so-stellar reputation. I'm sadly, terribly, awful at playing games. If I were more like Thjis' bitch of an ex-mate, then maybe I would have grabbed Daan to me with those games.

I rub my chest absently. Something about Thjis' story strikes a deep chord in me. The first year after I shifted, I felt the pain. It wasn't as bad as a sixteen-year-old female's emotional pain, but it was still horrible. I threw myself into studying and training, and for the most part, my she-wolf stopped hurting me. Thjis also trained to keep the pain away, to keep his wolf from going berserk and slicing him apart from the inside.

I'm sure that Daan and Cloe are having sex again. But, I had sex with Daan. I brought our stupid bond closer, so why isn't my wolf protesting at the reality of our mate with another female?

Where is my mate bond?

Even thinking of him makes my wolf recoil with a snarl. She would have been his dirty secret. He betrayed us. He hurt us. We almost died, and his claws and teeth are coated in our life-blood as much as the males who were there that night. More than any of those males.

That male isn't ours.

I slide my eyes to Thjis. "I think I'm ready." My heart is fluttering, like a bird, racing so fast it's just a hum in my ears.

Confusion crosses his face, "ready for what?"

"To, um... you know... with you. The three of you."

He looks bewildered for a minute before a sly smirk crosses his face. "Maybe soon, OK? If you can't say it..." he adds in a sing-song voice.

"Shut up," I mutter.

He entwines his hand in mine and raises it to his lips, kissing my knuckles. "C'mon, beautiful, say it. F-uck-ing," he croons mockingly. "Fucking your males. You want to-"

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