Page 24 of Drawn To You

“Really Shannon? You really won’t mind if I fuck her. If I go over there right now and rail her, if I feel her tight little cunt squeezing around my cock … That’s not going to be a problem for you?” My hands curl into fists, anger pulsing through my veins once again. “Yeah, that’s what I thought,” I scoff at the angry look on her face. She goes quiet again, which means I just struck a nerve. The last thing her twisted, jealous ass would want to hear is that I’m starting to feel something, anything, for another woman. But fuck her.

“Just answer me one thing.” I glance up and meet her heavy stare, nerves pounding through my body. “What the hell kind of marriage is this if you can so easily look the other way if I fuck someone else? What does that say about our relationship? Because where I’m standing, this is not a marriage.”

Seeing the look on my face, Shannon holds her hands out to me and pleads. “Why are you pushing me away? Don’t you want to fight for us? We can make it work, we have a family. How can you throw us away for some piece of ass you barely know?” The reminder of Abby weighs down on my shoulders, making me feel like a fucking prick, but I don’t regret it. Things with Shannon have been over for a long time. Way before Abby came into the picture. The divorce will probably kill me, but I’ll get over it, and eventually, it won’t hurt so bad. “Let me guess,” Shannon says, “Now that you have someone to suck your cock you don’t need me anymore? I can’t believe you’re picking her over your family!” she yelled.

“I’m not picking her. I’m leaving a toxic marriage where my unfaithful wife cheats on me constantly under my nose with our fucking neighbor. I’m not leaving you for another woman. Call a spade a spade, Shannon!” “So you’re really going to look me in the face and tell me you haven’t fucked her?” I glance away and she shakes her head, a smirk pulling at the corners of her lips.

“Depends. are you really going to tell me you haven’t been fucking Robert?” I demand right back to which she says nothing. We stand there looking at each other for moments on end, both of us at an impasse. “I’m going to bed.” I finally say and walk away. A few minutes later I hear the front door slam as Shannon heads out, most likely going upstairs to fuck the neighbor again if I had to guess. The sad thing was that I no longer cared.

Shannon’s assumption that I am leaving her for Abby left me feeling unsettled. Not because I feel like sleeping with someone else was entirely wrong at this fucked up point in time. Shannon has been cheating on me for at least two years that I know of, it’s been over between us. But that doesn’t mean I want to jump into another relationship.

Just the thought of being tied down again is enough to scare the shit out of me and has me rethinking everything with Abby. I thought I knew my wife and she betrayed me in the worst way. I’ll never let myself make that mistake again.

I fucking know I should have never touched Abby. She deserves someone who will want to have a relationship and all I can offer her is something casual. A friends with benefits arrangement at best and she’s not that kind of girl. I don’t know what the fuck I’m going to do. I want her but maybe I should back off so I don’t give her any more false hope.

Twenty

WTF Moments

Abigail

Lainey stumbles out of my car, already buzzing from pre-gaming it while we got ready for the party. I hastily climb out and lock the car behind me, and I’m left to chase after her, making sure she doesn’t get lost in the crowd. Who knows what could happen tonight. When the girls had first asked if I wanted to go to the party I was hesitant. I’ve spent the last five days trying to convince myself that Joshua’s sudden radio silence days after we hooked up isn’t bothering me.

But, not going to lie if I got the chance to sucker punch the asshole right now I might be a tiny bit tempted. I know he has a lot on his plate and his situation is complicated but I also thought there was something growing between us. How fucked up is that? When he started ignoring all my messages this week it really stung, which is ridiculous. He’s not mine. He made no promises to me. If I caught feelings then I’ve got nobody to blame but myself.

Everyone warned me not to get tangled up with him. I just didn’t think he was the kind of guy to use me and ghost me like that. Especially after I had confided in him about my lack of experience. He still didn’t know about what Sterling had done to me, but I wasn’t ready to share the details with him, even if I should have done so before we had become intimate.

But after everything, I’ve been through I thought I would never be able to have a normal sex life. So the fact that I not only allowed him to touch me like that but that I loved every moment of it is amazing in itself. He somehow got through all my barriers. Only now, I’m questioning if I should have kept my barriers firmly in place.

I suppose it’s better to have found out before I allowed things to get too deep. Not going to lie, I haven’t stopped thinking about it, and deep down I’m worried it’s already too late and I’m in over my head. I can’t stop replaying it. I know he is going through a lot dealing with Shannon cheating on him, and I want to comfort him and be there for him as much as I can, but that doesn’t change the fact that I feel like a stone-cold bitch for doing it in this circumstance. I never thought I would find myself in this Grey area trying to figure out what’s right and wrong. Especially when everything gets so convoluted when emotions get involved.

Racing to catch Lainey, I meet her by the front door. I’ve been here countless times over the years with my friends, but I don’t really know the guy who owns the place. Don’t get me wrong, I know who he is, see him around parties every now and then, but I never paid him much more attention than that. Familiar faces linger around the house, and out in the planters, some poor girl is already throwing up.

Lainey’s arm loops through mine and together we step through the open door. Bodies fill up the room and the smell of sweat, pot, and cigarettes lingers in the air. It’s dark inside and almost impossible to see where we’re going but Lainey seems to know her way. Her excitement is contagious as she drags me through the front part of the house, squeezing past dancing bodies and trying to ignore the couple dry-humping each other up against the wall, not even trying to be discreet as the girl’s hand suddenly disappears down the front of his pants.

We barely get a few feet into the backyard when we hear a loud, piercing sound from across the yard. “LAINEY, ABBY, OVER HERE!” “Oh, fuck,” Lainey says, her eyes going wide, trying to find the face through the crowd that belongs to that voice. “It looks like Jules is pretty Lit.” Lainey laughs as our friend makes her way toward us.

Jules barrels toward us, and before we know it, she’s right there, throwing her arms wide and slamming into Lainey’s chest before latching onto me and giving me a tight squeeze. “I’m so happy you guys are here!” she squeals. “I didn’t even know you were coming.”

Then the next thing I know the back door swings open again and I watch with wide eyes as Joshua steps out into the backyard. “No fucking way,” I mumble to myself and I groan, rolling my eyes. The last thing I need is to stand here and pretend like he didn’t have mind-blowing sex with me and then ghost me. I’m already a mess over this guy. I’m not ready to face him yet so I turn back to Jules and Lainey and follow them to the spot Lily and Rain had claimed for us for the duration.

I could tell by the look that Lily was giving me that she knew something was up with me and it wouldn’t be long for her to put two and two together once she spotted Joshua. I had confided in her the day after I slept with Joshua. I was a complete mess that next day and needed to cry it out with a friend. She listened and I felt no judgment from her, only compassion and concern. But she did caution me against getting my hopes up that Joshua would actually leave Shannon because he had ignored her infidelity in the past. She just didn’t want to see me get hurt if he ended up staying with her.

Just thinking about that happening made me sick to my stomach but it was a real possibility and I couldn’t let myself forget that. The smart thing to do would be to walk away now before things got even more complicated.

After a while, I could feel a very familiar set of eyes burning into me, and I let out a groan. My nerves had me on edge, so I was immediately on guard, every part of me desperately trying to shut out the feelings I’d been trying to ignore for the past few days as I locked eyes with Joshua. He was sitting across the yard with Maddox and Josh on a bench and leaning up against a large tree behind him smoking a blunt. But he was staring intently at me, and I swear I felt something die inside of me. Perhaps my iron resolve to stay away from him?

Turning back to the girls I try to watch the party around me, I grab my bottle of water and take a sip, determined to ignore him, but when a shiver shoots down my spine and goosebumps cover my skin, I know he’s moved closer—a lot closer. Suddenly he is pulling up a chair right next to me as Maddox and Josh pull up chairs to sit with our group as well.

“Hey, Abby. I didn’t know you’d be here tonight,” he says quietly, that deep, husky tone rocking right through me as the rest of our friends chat around us, completely oblivious to the pain pressing against my chest. Determined not to cower away from this awkward situation I put myself in, I hold my head high, not allowing him to see that he completely crushed me by ghosting me.

“Trust me, if I knew you were going to be here, I wouldn’t have come.” He doesn’t respond at first, just keeps staring at me through those dark, impenetrable eyes. Suddenly he shakes his head and says, “Abby, I’m sorry I haven’t called you. I wanted to, I just didn’t know what to say. Do you think we could go somewhere to talk?” he asks quietly so only I could hear and I can’t help but laugh.

“Now you want to talk? Look, whatever you think you’re going to get from me, you can forget it. I’m not hanging around for you to screw with. I don’t want to do this with you, dealing with the whiplash that comes from a guy who can’t figure out what the fuck he wants is exhausting.”

Joshua’s eyes darken and the desire pooling in them makes my breath catch in my throat. He stares down at me, his eyes holding me captive. “That’s where you’re wrong Abby,” he growls. “I know exactly what I want.” I swallow hard, my heart screaming in fear. “Please don’t do this to us,” I warn him, terrified of the way he is able to effortlessly draw me in when both of us know that this isn’t going anywhere good. He is going to hurt me, and the more time I spend with him, the harder I’m going to fall.

“Come with me?” he implores and despite my earlier protests I know I’m going to follow him wherever he wants to lead me so I nod my acceptance. He stands and beckons for me to follow.

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