Page 44 of Lucifer's Redemption

It’s actually quite funny how he got his name. Dad was putting me to bed one night. He leaned over, and, BAM, he just let one fly. Giggling hysterically, I called him out and told him he was a ‘Mr. McFarty Pants.’ He didn’t like that, so he blamed it on one of my stuffed animals. Of course, I asked which one, because I knew my stuffed animals, and none of them had a loose bum like him.

Then he pulled out a pretty rainbow unicorn! He had big, fluffy hair on top of his head, a colored horn, and a long bright tail. ‘This is Mr. Rainbow Farts,’ he snorted. ‘He did it.’ Dad pointed to the stuffy. I knew he was lying, but for the sake of getting the stuffed animal, I agreed to blame it on Mr. Rainbow Farts.

“Oh, I like him!” I whispered again, putting my hand to my mouth. “Like, Ilikehim, like him.”

Throwing my face into the pillow, I let out a gigantic scream.I had my first crush! And I didn’t even know it!Releasing another scream, my legs kicked frantically while the excitement rushed over me.

Stopping suddenly, I stared back at Mr. Farts, pulling him up and staring into his eyes. “Mom is going to kill me.”

I wasn’t allowed to have a crush on a boy. Mom said they would steal my innocence, which was hard to believe because I’m the Goddess of Innocence. How could they steal my power away? I didn’t even know how to use it properly.I shrugged my shoulders and heard a knock on the door.

“Are you ready for your lesson?” Ember peeked inside. Her eyes were the only thing I could see, but the pitter-patter of her feet echoed against the carpet.

I’ve got really good ears.

“T-today?” I questioned. “You set it up for today?”

How did Athena work so fast? She’s such a smart lady and very important, and yet she came all the way back to the Underworld to teach me!

“Oh, yes. She does this lesson regularly with those going through…” Ember’s voice trailed off until she came back with a new thought, “with those who are first realizing all their body’s functions.” She smiled, now approaching the bed. Picking up Mr. Rainbow Farts, she looked at him and set him back on the bed—like he was a living being. It made me smile.

Mom just tossed my stuffed animals around the room, completely apathetic to their feelings.

“Come on, I tasked Lucifer with watching Lilith. I don’t want to miss the lesson.” Grabbing her hand, we hurried to the conference room, or ‘smoking room,’ as Ember called it.

Apparently, Hades gets mad a lot when he is in the conference room talking to people. So, they could call it the ‘God of the Underworld’s Anger room,’ but I guess, ‘Smoking Room’ was much shorter.

Athena had a projector set up at the far end of the room. The wall had a screen that was easily pulled up and down. Her eyes didn’t lift to register our arrival. Instead, she just mumbled incoherently as she stacked her papers.

Plopping myself into the leather chair, I swirled it around to be extra sure it was a good twirling chair until I was stopped my third time around by Athena.

“Welcome, Uriel.” Her voice emanated smoothly.

She is such a nice goddess! I am so happy I met her on my first day out in the ‘real world.’

“Hi, Athena!” I chirped and put my hands on the table like a responsible student. According to the lessons I watched through Mom’s mirror, students should raise their hands in class, sit up straight, and pay super close attention. I was ready for this.

“We are going to start from the beginning.” Athena picked up a clicker and pressed it with her thumb. The room went dark, and a bright light shone on the screen. Clicking it again, an image of a giant tadpole appeared.

“Aww, it’s a tadpole!” I cooed.

It looked a little different, but I would not point that out because that would be rude. Maybe he or she had a problem that they didn’t want to talk about.

“No, this isn’t a tadpole, Uriel. This is a sperm.”

I narrowed my eyes at her. “Should I take notes? This might be difficult because that looks like a tadpole.” I pointed to the screen. Athena centered her nose between her finger and her thumb and pinched.

“It does look like a tadpole, Athena,” Ember added.

“Did you not get apropereducation on the miracle of life?” Athena snapped back.

“I just know what makes me feel good, and that sometimes it produces a baby.” Ember shrugged her shoulders. “The whole nitty-gritty of why and how never really came up.”

Athena threw her head back on the wall, clicking the remote in her hand again. “This is an egg.” Athena looked both of us in the eyes, waiting for a response.

It looks more like a tiny, cute, little pink ball. I think I am already on her bad side, so I better stay really quiet.

“You aren’t on my bad side,” Athena muttered and clicked the remote again.

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