Page 4 of The Boy I Once Loved

I lean forward. "You want something, Beth?"

Her eyes narrow. “You shouldn’t have come back.”

I smirk. “Oh, really? And why is that?”

“Because you don’t belong here,” she warns me with a frosty glare.

I lean forward right into her space and lower my voice so only she can hear me. “Remove yourself from my desk princess before I forcibly remove you.”

She hesitates but then must clearly see the intent in my eyes, so she whips her hair out and flounces off back to her seat. I smirk at her two friends, who quickly avert their gaze. If Beth Jones thinks I am still the same weak girl I was back then, she is sadly mistaken. Death and being let down by everyone around me had made me tough. I wouldn’t let anyone push me around and if they tried, they would know about it.

Uncle Matt was a fitness freak, and he got me into boxing and the gym. Now I couldn’t function if I didn’t get a gym session or a session on the pads regularly. I hadn’t been the easiest teenager to be around these last three years. I had been angry, angry at my mum, angry at Dylan and angry at the world, but somehow my Uncle had channelled that anger into something positive. He gave me some stability at a time in my life when I felt complete upheaval. He has only been gone a day and I am already missing him. My relationship with my mum is strained. She is being overly attentive, the guilt for what she did clearly eating at her. She seems determined to show me she is the perfect mother, but I’m not interested. English passes quickly and I leave the classroom to find Amber waiting for me.

"I thought you'd want to sit with me at lunch. You know, with it being your first day and all."

I smile. I couldn’t help but like this girl. “Thanks, that is really thoughtful.”

The school canteen has had a revamp since I was last here. Luckily, sixth formers have their dinner later than the younger kids. We walk in and some of the dining tables are already full as students sit eating and chatting. I follow Amber to the food counter and she points out a table over to the far left. “That’s our table. My friends Erin and Megan are over there, and my boyfriend Josh and his mates Blake and Otis should be along soon.”

I look over to the table she points to and see two girls, one with ginger curly hair and an Asian girl with long dark glossy hair. We select our food and I follow Amber to the table.

"Girls. This is Ella. She's new and I said she could sit with us." I take a seat beside Amber and smile in greeting. "Ella, this is Megan and Erin."

“Welcome to Lilford Ella. I’m sure you’ll soon find your way around the place. It’s a small sixth form. The table to our right is the drama gang’s table. They are all dramatic and artsy. Across from us is the science nuts table.” Erin points with her finger to two other tables. “Those tables are the sports boys and their little clingers.”

I follow her fingers to the two tables which are now partially occupied and my eyes land on the one person I had no desire to ever see again. Dylan James sits in the centre of one table, a pretty brunette girl to his right and Connor to his left. My heart stutters at the sight of him. He is still Dylan, but he has changed. He is taller and has muscles where once he was all gangly and slender. His dark brown hair is shaved short at the side but longer on the top, and he wears a fitted grey t-shirt that hints at perfect abs underneath. Connor says something in his ear and then suddenly both their eyes meet mine. I feel like a rabbit in headlights; I want to turn my gaze away, but I can't. I can't fathom the look that crosses Dylan's face, it looks like a mixture of shock and recognition. Pulling myself together and I turn my attention back to the three girls at our table.

“Uh-oh. Did you see that?” Megan comments looking at me with a sympathetic look on her face. “She spotted Dylan and now she’s a goner.”

Erin finishes pulling her ginger locks into a messy bun and pats my hand. “Don’t worry, you won’t be the last to be left speechless by his good looks.”

“You girls talking about me again?”

I look up to see two guys approaching the table. One with shortly shaved brown hair sits beside Amber and drops a kiss on her cheek. The one who spoke sits next to Megan and stares openly at me. “Who’s this?” He runs a hand through his dirty blonde hair and he winks at me.

“Ella, this is my boyfriend Blake and his best friend Otis.”

Otis leans forward and gives me a wide smile. “Well, hello new girl. You are welcome at our table anytime.”

Megan groans and nudges him with her elbow. “For god’s sake Otis, don’t start hitting on her.”

Otis laughs and dramatically rubs his ribs where she elbowed him. "I can't help it. It just happens whenever there's a pretty girl around me."

Amber and her group of friends are all really nice and they make me feel welcome and at ease in their company, but I am unable to fully relax as I know he is there. I don’t look over to his table again. I daren’t, scared of the emotions it will trigger. “I need another drink. Anyone want one?”

“Oh, could you grab me a water?” Erin asks, shaking the almost empty water bottle in her hand. Assuring her I will, I stand and head over to the fridge full of drinks. I’m perusing my options when someone coughs behind me. Turning, I freeze when I find Dylan standing in front of me. Hands in his pockets, he studies me intently.

“It’s really you?”

I nod and look anywhere but at him. “Yeah, it’s me.”

“You look good. I mean, you’ve changed.”

“Why did you come over here?” I sigh.

He looks slightly taken aback by my direct question. “You just disappeared El.” My heart hurts when he calls me El, only he and my brother had called me that. “No one knew what had happened and then my mum saw someone from your mum’s works, and they said you had gone to live with your uncle.”

I turn away from him and grab two bottles of water from the fridge and head to the till. He follows behind me. "Are you home for good?"

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