Page 5 of Chosen Road

Amber

The conference room filled up quickly. I was far from the only one interested in this particular speaker who specialized in childhood trauma and attachment theory.

I had studied attachment theory and abandonment issues in university as part of my program, but by the time I was working on my PhD, my area of focus had shifted to community resources and governmental policies to support children at risk.

At the time, I recognized my vulnerability towards abandonment issues. I even went so far as to go for a psychiatric assessment. I did not have borderline personality disorder, depression, or anxiety, all of which are common in adults who have experienced trauma or abandonment. I counted myself lucky in that respect, but he confirmed that I had abandonment issues.

Okay, well, that didn’t sound so bad.

The symptoms of my abandonment issues swirled around an inability or unwillingness to trust, avoidance of emotional intimacy, a penchant for people pleasing, and a good old-fashioned helping of self-sabotage when it came to my relationships. And, oh yes, a tendency towards explosive bouts of rage.

Essentially, I was a suspicious bitch who would work her ass off to please you, complain that you asked for too much, then refuse to talk about it. If you pushed, I’d leave the house in a rage or throw the dishes.

In our beginning, Gus and I went through a lot of dishes.

When he hired Jacqueline, I was furious. She was like a pin-up girl with her perfectly made-up face, her pencil skirts that closely skimmed her curvy, petite body, and her long, curly blond hair. In short, she was everything I was not.

I remember walking into his office to meet him for lunch. Once Alex started school, we went out for lunch, usually meeting at the restaurant, but on that occasion, Gus wanted to go together.

Gus’s grey-blue eyes lit up when he saw me. He extended his hand for mine and pulled me in for a brief kiss. Pulling back, his eyes fluttered over my face like a caress. He murmured, “Come to my office so I can grab my keys and I’ll take you out for a real lunch. Would you like that? Do you have time today?”

I beamed up at him and his face split wide, his deep dimple winking at me.

He led me by the hand to his office. We were almost at his door when the curvy blond wiggled her way through the doorway, teetering on her high heels.

My jaw fell open and I tripped over my flip-flops.

Angus turned toward me and hauled me up by my arm, wrapping his other arm around my waist. “Whoa, you okay there, baby?”

I yanked my arm out of his grasp and pushed against his big chest. “I’m not a horse, Angus,” I snapped.

He tightened his hold on me, trapping my hands between us. His voice deepened to that tone that brooked no argument. “I’m going to ride you like you are though, aren’t I?”

The anger leeched from my body as I stared up into his face.

Tense and serious, he glared down at me. “Don’t you ever second guess yourself. You’re all I see.”

Heat crawled up my chest and hit my face.

Gus’s pupils dilated. “I like to see you flushed. I prefer it when it’s for reasons other than anger.”

With his hand firmly pressed against the small of my back, he maneuvered me the last few feet to his office, stopping right in front of Jacqueline’s desk that sat outside his door.

My eyes flew up to his face to find his usual, jovial mask in place. “Jacqueline, this is my wife, Amber.” Pride shone from his eyes as he swung his gaze to me. “Amber, this is my assistant, Jacqueline. Her entire purpose is to get me home to you faster.”

“Aw, that’s just so sweet!” Jacqueline gushed.

I wanted to pop her head off like a pezz dispenser.

“Nice to meet you, Jacqueline.” I held out my hand, a friendly smile on my face. I had a PhD for fuck’s sake. I was better than petty jealousy.

Gus continued. “Jacqueline, if Amber calls looking for me at any time, interrupt me no matter what’s going on, okay?”

“Yes, sir!” she chirped. “If there’s one thing I’m good at, it’s following orders.”

I looked at her sideways, but she kept her big, baby blues innocently trained on Angus’s face. I had her number, though Angus did not.

He smiled easily, and answered, “Good. Nothing is more important than Amber.” He then turned to me. “Come on, baby. We’re wasting daylight.”

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