Page 73 of Educated By the Earl (Second Sons of London 1)

Chapter Twenty

Spencer bypassed theentrance to Hyde Park, the tension melting away the further they went from the crowds.

As they drove, he said, “I hadn’t realized it until I came back to England but I don’t like large groups of people.” He paused and then added, “I think it is the war. It changed me in ways I am only beginning to realize.”

“How so?” Tessa asked.

He glanced down at her and saw she was truly interested.

“Being around others never bothered me much growing up. As a boy in public school, you soon learn there is nothing such as privacy. I did savor returning to Stoneridge, though, whenever I had a holiday. It is located in Kent, which I believe is the loveliest place in all of England. I would roam the estate all day. Being out in nature seemed to renew me.”

“I know what you mean,” she said. “As much as I liked coming to London with Papa and Mama for a few months each year, I prefer the country. How do you think the war has changed you, Spencer?”

“It certainly hardened me. I had never seen anyone die before I arrived on the Continent. Death became commonplace. I had to steel myself against it.” He thought a moment. “It is as if I erected a barrier between what I saw and what I could allow to affect me. I trained men to go into battle. I led them into the firefight. And then I saw their lifeless, broken, bloodied bodies after the conflict ended.”

He shuddered. “As their commanding officer, it was my duty to write to the families to inform them of their loved one’s death. I cannot tell you the number of times I had to pick up my quill and write the same words, trying to give the receiver of my letter solace and let them know how bravely that soldier had performed. How his death contributed to the war effort and England’s eventual victory.”

Tessa placed her hand on his arm. “That must have been terrible. Seeing men fall. Having to watch them die. Writing their families. And then doing it over and over again.”

“It was quite difficult,” he admitted, liking the feel of her hand on his arm.

Especially liking that she left it there.

“The countryside of Spain was beautiful and yet I grew to hate it. We studied maps of the area. Sent out scouts and received their reports. Planned and plotted our next attack. We did the same things, over and over, with very little favorable results.”

“Do you believe this war will ever end?” she asked softly.

“Eventually. The casualties will grow too great to continue justifying battles to continue occurring. Or the government will spend too much money and simply run out. It all boils down to the Little Corporal.”

“Bonaparte?” she asked.

Spencer nodded. “He is mad. There is no doubt about it. Mad—hungry—for power. He has a vision of all of Europe being in his control. Even beyond. He must be stopped. If he is—if he can be captured or killed—I know we could talk sense into his generals. This has gone on far too long.”

He sighed. “I despise loud noises now. Probably from my time on the battlefield and hearing all the cannons firing. I hate being around crowds, as well. Most likely because I couldn’t avoid them in the army. It has been very difficult for me to be in London. The streets teeming with people. The barrage of carriages. Even the swell of thetonat last night’s ball almost overwhelmed me. I look forward to the day I can return to the country.”

Left unsaid was he wanted to do so with his bride.

Spencer had sensed a softening in Tessa. He would need to tread carefully so as not to chase her away. She almost seemed within his reach. Perhaps one more kiss might convince her.

He looked to the road ahead and said as they passed it, “That is Tattersalls. They sell the best horseflesh in London. I came here the other day with Lord Wethersby.”

“I remember you discussing that plan. Did you buy any horses?”

“No, but I am thinking of doing so.”

He thought of a beautiful mare that he had seen, her lines fine and her chestnut coat glossy. The horse would make a fine wedding gift.

“Do you ride?” he asked, ready to satisfy his curiosity.

She chuckled. “You cannot live in the country and not do so. At least, I couldn’t. Papa was always out on the estate and I was always with him. I rode from a young age. I gave it up when I nursed my parents although I have since begun riding again ever since I moved in with Uncle Uxbridge.”

“Was it hard being turned from your home by the new Lord Paxton?”

Tessa thought a moment and then said, “It was—and it wasn’t. I had grown up at Oakley and so it was home. With Papa and Mama gone, however, nothing truly tied me to the estate. My cousin’s wife made it perfectly clear it was her home now. She wanted no interference from a daughter of the house. I am fortunate my uncle—Mama’s brother—took me in.”

Spencer decided he would confront this Lord Paxton on Tessa’s behalf.

He turned the carriage north and said, “Since Tattersalls is on the edge of London, I ventured out a bit after Lord Wethersby concluded his business. It was nice to escape the noise and smells of London. I enjoyed it so much that I brought this phaeton here yesterday to indulge in the peace and quiet.”

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