Page 84 of Bright Like Midnight (Savage U)

His feet came to a stop. I darted for him, and he turned when I was halfway there. The furious expression he wore drew me up short. He wasn’t just mad at Helen, he was mad at me.

“Tell me you’re not with me for protection,” he barked. “Tell me that was a lie.”

“I’m with you because I like you.” I took a step toward him. “I like yousomuch.”

“You’re not answering my question, Zadie.” His head cocked. “Why were you at that party?”

“Amir…” Oh, why did he have to ask me that?

“Just fucking answer me. Tell me now how deep the deceit runs.”

I sucked in a breath, hoping he would listen. “I came to the party hoping I would see you. I didn’t know what Elliott was planning on doing, and I didn’t have a plan other than putting myself in your orbit.”

“Was that kid your boyfriend?”

I shook my head. “I told you he wasn’t. I told you that from the very start.”

He scrubbed the scruff on his jaw. “And I didn’t listen. Goddammit,Zadie. Why? You could have straight up asked me. You didn’t have to—” He cut himself off, shaking his head with an expression of disgust. “You fucked me so I’d keep you longer?”

Something inside me crumpled. In all the times Amir had been mean to me, he’d never made me feel like this. Like I was disposable or a piece of gum attached to his shoe.

“No,” I replied miserably. “How could you ask me that?”

He pounded his chest. “I’mthe one who was deceived here. Don’t act all injured. I don’t even know you. I thought you were my sweet girl. My honest girl. And it’s all a lie. No wonder you didn’t want to tell anyone about us. None of it’s real to you, is it? You’ll ride my dick as long as I protect you?”

Tears welled in my eyes. Not from what he was saying, but from the place I knew those words were coming from. I’d hurt him. My dishonesty had brought us here, and I couldn’t stand the injured look on his face.

“It was an excuse!” I cried.

He went still, peering at me from narrowed eyes. “What does that mean?”

I licked my dry lips and let loose everything I’d been holding back. “It means I haven’t stopped thinking about you since you left my suite almost half a year ago. I saw you three times on campus, and each time, you looked right through me like I didn’t exist. When I started getting those poems, I was scared. I was really, really terrified. And I remembered your promise.”

Whatever we are to each other when I walk out of your door, you’ll tell me if this guy comes back.

I slapped my hair out of my face. “Of course I remembered your promise. I remember everything about that night. You let your brother hurt my friend, and yet…I wanted you. I knew you didn’t want me, but I thought if maybe you were protecting me like you said you would, you’d really see me again like you did that night and maybe you’d want me too. So, it was an excuse. All of it. It was an excuse to see you, to be near you. And that’s it. I manipulated everything so I could spend time with you.”

I laid myself on his altar. Sacrificed my pride for the truth. I would never want Amir to think I was using him as a shield. He was so much more than that, and those blossoming feelings I’d had at the start had bloomed into something so huge and bright, he’d had to be blind not to see. Even if he was blind, he had tofeelthe way I was so obviously into him. I’d never tried to hide it.

Amir stared at me. He stared and stared, his chest heaving like he’d sprinted for a mile straight. He opened his mouth a couple times to speak but shook his head and closed it again.

Finally, he raked his hand through the side of his hair and nodded to the ground. “I gotta think. Go find your friends, Zadie.”

I was rooted to my spot. He lifted his head, his brow pinched tight. “Go, Zadie. Get out of here.”

As much as I didn’t want to, I knew I had to give him this. If he needed time to think this over or forgive me, I’d let him have it.

“I’m really sorry I wasn’t truthful. I hope this isn't the end.” I spun around and stumbled back to the dining hall. Elena and Helen were waiting for me outside the doors. They must have heard the whole thing, since Amir and I hadn’t exactly been quiet

I thought they’d hate me and shut me out, but as soon as I was within reach, they both enfolded me in their arms and guided me back to our suite. They didn’t make demands for explanations, though I sensed that was coming.

In our suite, Elena pushed me down on the love seat, and Helen went to the kitchen to get drinks. She came back with three glasses of the sangria Elena’s mother had had delivered to us a few days ago, thrusting the fullest one into my trembling hands. I took a sip, then a longer pull. A much longer pull.

Helen rubbed my arm. “It’s time to talk, girlie.”

I set my glass on the coffee table and accepted my fate. I’d been flying too close to the sun for too long. This burn had been inevitable.

“Amir and I have been officially together for a couple weeks.”

---