Page 4 of Heart On For Dragon

“Vi?”

“…upset Dr. Bombay on more than one occasion. Molly said that…”

“Violet? There’s…”

“…you and Chris were making fun of the special Pregnancy Cookies and Pre-Natal Floral Tea the Doc formulated especially for her and the baby. Why would you do…”

“Violet. You need to…”

And as I continued to ramble and talk right over my Dragon, the voice of the little Witch in the back of my mind gave up the fight. She literally huffed in utter defeat,“Oh, Vi, you have lost your ever-lovin’ mind. I’m going into hibernation. Wake me if we survive.”

To which I gasped,“Why I never.”

And that’s when Bernie got involved.

(And who might Bernie be? Well, buckle up, Buttercup, and keep your arms and legs inside the vehicle. I’m ‘bout to rock your world.)

Bernie – aka Bernice the Beautiful, Bountiful, and Beloved - is...

(Yes, you are so right. Cherubs have the stupidest given names. But once again, I digress…)

…the sassiest, snarkiest, and oh-so full of crapiest Familiar in the whole wide world. She is a Cherub who can onlybe a Cherubwhen she's on Cloud Nine in the Kingdom of Love on the Valentine Nebula because she pissed Cupid off with a horrible, terrible practical joke about three centuries ago.

I mean, come on, I have no clue what she was thinking. Who replaces the Arrows of Love with stale candy canes, puts a metric ton of black licorice candy in the chocolate covered cherry machine, and dumps a whole bottle of Magically enhanced ebony hair dye in the God of Love’s amore-scented shampoo and conditioner on Valentine’s Eve? Not even I’m that daring (or stupid) – and that’s sayin’ something.

As you can imagine, Cupid was pissed with a capital P-I-S-S-E-D. Dashing out of Hearts on Fire Castle in nothing but a bright red towel, our illustrious leader trampled all over the lavender and pink lawns of the Kingdom of Love, kicked open the door of Bernie’s cute little blush-toned cottage, and cursed her heart-shaped booty right there on the spot. Apparently, fiery red sparkles, flaming hearts, and putrid Pepto Bismal smoke flew from his fingertips as he roared, “No more a Cherub anywhere but home. A Potbellied Pig you will be wherever you roam. No more arrows of love, no more Amore to share. You have gone too far, Bernice, on this I swear. Pink as the posies with a tutu as red as rosies, get from my sight before I turn you into a Sprite!”

And so, it was. My Familiar, the only Familiar to every Witch Brown entrusted with the Spark of Love since the beginning of the Brown Witches, Bernice was an adorable Cherub with rosy cheeks and perfect blond curlsas long asshe stayed in the Kingdom of Love, but as soon as she so much as stuck a toe over the edge of Cloud Nine – she instantly became a very pink Potbellied Pig with a permanent tutu and itty-bitty wings.

(Just to be clear, I had no say over the name of our Kingdom either. Good Goddess, I’m notthatold. You have to talk to the big guy and well, he’s rather indis.. that is to say, he’s... Oh, hell, just pay attention…)

“Ha! You never?” Bernie goaded; the raspy tone of her deep, sounded-like-she’d-smoked-one-too-many-cigars-but-truly-never-had voice tap dancing on every one of my fraying nerves. "That's rich. You have and you know you have more times than either one of us cares to remember. You, Violet Brown, have done anything and everything…"

“Shut up, Bernie,” I fumed.

“Oh, I’ll shut up,” she exploded. “Just as soon as you pay attention to that overgrown gecko of yours. He’s been tryin’…”

“Hey!” Mick adamantly objected. “That’s just…”

But Bernie was on a roll and she was having none of it.

"…to get your attention for the last ten minutes. Hush it up, Violet.Damn, just zip those lips of yours, and stop freaking out over some creepy crawly taking a trip across your gluteus maximus. Hell, you used to play with worms, talk to the spiders in the barn like they were Charlotte, and save ants from that creepy little kid with spectacles bigger than his face and a box of magnifying glasses bigger than Uncle George’s steamer trunk. Pull your head outta your ass and use at least one ounce of the good sense the Great Goddess gave you. For cripes’ sake, get your shit together! Make with the Magic. Get some light on the subject. Do what you do, Witchy Poo. Some of us are dyin’ over here.”

(For future reference, I (A) Have a metric shit ton of good sense. I amknownfor my good sense and quick thinking. Ask anybody – but Bernie. Everybody I know will confirm this fact. They will say, ‘Violet is the Queen of rational thinking and problem solving. We go to her for help all the time.’ I have references if you need them. (B) I am not usually such a wuss when it comes to insects, arachnids, and the like – as explained by the Potbellied Pig aka Cherub aka my Familiar aka the giant pain in my ass, Bernice. I'm a Witch for Goddess’ sake. Squeamish is not in the job description and spiders are part of the gig. And (C) I am not afraid of the dark. I know you hadn't said that yet, and surprisingly neither had Bernie, but I need to head that shit off at the pass. Ya’ feel me? Okay, cool. Now, back to the story…)

Not wanting to admit out loud that Bernie’s ‘unpep talk’ had actually cleared my muddled brain almost as well as my Dragon’s screams of agony, I took her advice and called out, “Mick? Mick, honey, what were you saying?”

But this time, there was no answer.

I knew he was there. I could feel the warmth of his body and the extra heat supplied by none other than Esau – the Dragon King Extraordinaire. The scent of mesquite and true love and spicy chili peppers was all around me. Mick was there – no doubt about it.

So, why wasn't he talking? Heck, I couldn't get him to shut up and listen just a few minutes earlier. Wouldn’t you just know when I wanted him to talk, the infuriatingly wonderful man had fallen silent.

Hands out in front of me, feeling around in the dark like all those stupid people in scary movies while hoping that I looked infinitely better than all those silly actors in the plethora of horror films I'd watched over the years, I tried with all my might to find the love of my life. "Can't you see in the dark, Mick, Honey? Isn't that one of the things Dragons can do? I mean, Witches can, too. But for some reason, my Magic isn't working. It's like somebody flipped a switch…"

"Like the lights are on but nobody's home?" Bernie snorted. "Nuthin’ new there.”

“Shut up, Bernice,” I ground out through gritted teeth, using her given name to add extra oomph before cooing…

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