Page 3 of To Hate You

Spencer got to his feet and held out his hand, helping me up. “I know it doesn't seem like it now, but a time will come when you won't even remember why you missed this asshole so much in the first place.” He placed a chaste kiss on my forehead. “Before you know it, Noah will be nothing more than a distant memory of a crush you used to have. I promise.”

I simply smiled at my brother and stared after him as he walked out. I wasn't sure what I hated more—the fact that Spencer thought Noah to be nothing more than a crush or the idea of time taking away what Noah meant to me.

As the door slammed shut, I dragged my feet to the bathroom. Just the thought of going out exhausted me. The idea of facing people, taking part in mundane conversations and pretending like my life was perfect made my stomach turn. But this was the only way to get Silas off my back–at least for the next few days.

The expansive ensuite with white marble floors, chrome fixtures and walls lined with mirrors, gleamed with polished shine. Soft light touched the crystal knobs sending dancing rainbows across the sleek white cabinets. It was a luxury bathroom most women only dreamt of, and I used to think it was perfect and exactly what a girl needed. But now it all seemed excessive and unnecessary. Inconsequential.

I put one foot in front of the other as my stomach churned violently. The beat of my heart strained to escape my chest and burned my eyes as it tried to leap from my body. It pounded in my ears as I pressed my hands to my temples, trying to quiet its harsh tempo while I took shallow breaths.

My hand shook as I picked up the test, and I craned my neck, staring up at the ceiling because I was too scared to look down. The truth was, I already knew what it would reveal.

I already knew my life would never be the same. How could it be after what Noah and I had—no matter how fleeting? His smell, his kiss, his touch, his voice; I was addicted to it all. He consumed me wholly, and it became increasingly harder to breathe when I wasn’t around him. Every time he touched me I came so damn close to burning to ash. When he kissed me, his lips became my gravity; and his body flush against mine would be my cocaine. I was so fucking high whenever he was inside me, claiming me, rocking me toward ecstasy, the whole world around me would disappear. Nothing else mattered when I was with him. My life had never been so close to perfect as it was whenever I was with him.

Finally, looking down, my fate was decided and solidified with two tiny pink lines.

I’m pregnant.

Chapter2

Sienna

It was one tiny pill, and its primary purpose was to fucking work. There had been so many stories of women getting pregnant even though they had been on the pill for years, and I always called bullshit on those stories, thinking that somewhere, somehow, that woman fucked up. Maybe she didn’t take that tiny little pill as she should. Maybe she skipped a few days. Maybe she forgot about the antibiotics she was taking for a goddamn UTI. Maybe she just fucking lied.

But I could never be convinced that a pregnancy magically happened because one tiny fucker swam like a tadpole on crack during that same month when one rogue little egg decided to tear free and enjoy the ride during ovulation that was never supposed to happen in the first place. There were just too many variables for me to actually believe that every measure that tiny little pill puts in place to prevent pregnancy failed all at once.

Yet, here I was holding in my hand the proof that shit can happen even when every precaution has been taken.

I was pregnant.

Jesus Christ, I was pregnant.

My body grew heavy, and I had to grab ahold of the bathroom sink to keep myself from falling, dropping the pregnancy test onto the floor. A sensation of a million tiny needles pricking my skin made me shudder. My arms felt cold, my skin pale; I could actually see blood slowly leeching back into my veins. My skin had turned to ice, and my stomach felt like it weighed a ton.

This couldn’t be happening.

It just couldn’t.

I knew I had to do something, but I couldn’t think, couldn’t form a single rational thought.

My hand grazed the bathroom counter, and I stumbled backward, falling on my ass and feeling the hard marble bite into my skin. I picked up the test and stared at it, willing that second goddamn line to just disappear.

Nausea rolled over me in sickening waves, and my stomach clenched as it almost violently tried to push out the three bites of cantaloupe I managed to swallow for breakfast. I was sure I cried, vaguely feeling the tears’ moisture on my cheeks, but I was too busy trying not to throw up.

I didn’t know who I was more disgusted with—myself for being so stupid and reckless over a guy who ended up breaking my heart anyway, or him for leaving me and letting the dominoes fall all around me, catapulting me into the biggest clusterfuck of my life.

Tears ran down my face, and I wanted to stop them, but I couldn’t. They fell like tiny weights carrying all my pain, each one striking me with a force that cut through my chest.

“I’m pregnant,” I whispered. “And you’re not even here. God.” I leaned my head back against the wall, the cold from the marble seeping through my oversized shirt, sending chills down my spine.

There was a loud knock on my bedroom door, and I shot to my feet, wiping the lingering tears from my face. “Who is it?”

“It’s me,” Silas said from the other side of the door. “Just giving you a ten-minute warning. You better be in there getting dressed and putting on make-up...or whatever the fuck it is you women do.”

“Oh God,” I sighed, dragging myself into my bedroom. “Silas, I’m really not in the mood for a party.”

“And I really don’t give a shit. Ten minutes, Sienna.”

His footsteps echoed down the hall until they disappeared.

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