Page 121 of Sugarloaf Ridge Lies

Chapter Thirty-Nine

Jerry

Ireach for Liv. Insteadof her soft, warm body, I’m met with the loneliness of cool sheets.

A sleeve of Panadol tablets and a tall glass of water on the bedside table come into focus.

My stomach lurches at the notion of drinking again.And yet, you still continue to do it, dipshit.

How blind did I get last night? How did I even drag my sorry arse into bed?

I fucked up. And yet Liv still had the kindness to leave me some drugs for the sore head she predicted I’d bear in the harsh light of day. Did she sleep beside me or was she that disgusted with me she slept in her old bed?

“Liv?” I cough and splutter as acid burns in the back of my throat. The pounding of my skull intensifies with movement.

My call goes unanswered. I take two tablets, scull down the tepid water then take a shower to wash the stink away. I slip on a new shirt, my hands shaking as I step into yesterday’s jeans. I need to sweat this out. I pull back the heavy curtains and scan over the frosted fields.Wake up to yourself,Jerry.

Man. The. Fuck. Up.

After stumbling my way down the hall, I step into the kitchen. Liv is staring out the window, the sun lighting up her honey locks.

“I’m sorry,” I blurt out.

She swings around, nursing a steaming cup. Her shoulders slump.

I hold up a hand to stop her from speaking. I need to get in first. “I handled yesterday badly. Like majorly.”

“I get it.” Her voice is quiet. “It was a lot, yesterday.” She checks her watch and sets her cup on the sink. “I have to get to work.”

Why the hell didn’t I get my arse out of bed earlier so I could sort this out?I stalk towards her and place my hands on her hips. “Can we please talk later? I need to explain some things.”

Liv nods and presses a kiss to my cheek. “Sure.”

She steps to the side, but I match her step and cup her shoulders. “Again, I’m sorry.”

“I know.” Liv flattens her hands against my chest.Is she trying to push me away?

I press my lips to her forehead. She sighs and melts into me. I hold her tight before letting go and stepping aside. “Don’t let me hold you up.”

She forces a quick smile. “I’ll be home around five.”

I nod. “’kay. See ya then.”

When she walks out the door a small part of me wonders if she’ll come back. If the flash of my true colours last night was too much for her.

Who wants a drunk? A guy who can’t keep his shit together?

It won’t be the drinking that’ll kill our relationship.

It’ll be the secrets.

Secrets have a way of spreading through your insides like a parasite, tightening around vital organs. Crippling. It was about time I was freed of them. There can’t be any more secrets between us. I have to lay it all out. She needs to know why I’m so fucked up, and that starts with why I’m fixated on the father of her child.

I need to know more about him. As much as it gets under my skin and itches like poison ivy, whoever this guy is, he deserves to know the truth, even though he could ruin everything. Liv’s child,our child,needs all the pieces of the puzzle. It might be tough, but this child will be loved, and a part of loving them will be presenting them with the truth. Something I wish I had earlier in life.

After slaving in the fields until mid-afternoon, my body aching as much as my head, I call the nursing home. I need to try again.

Grateful for the news Nan is back to her old self today, I shower and head to Willow Creek.

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