Nan greets me as if she hasn’t seen me in months. I can’t bear to tell her any different so, of course, I apologise.
“I’ve got news, Nan.”
She places her teacup on the table and reaches for my hand. “I’m all ears.”
I tell her all there is to know about me and Liv. How we met, why she broke up with me, and now that we’re back together that there are certain things hanging over my head like a brewing storm.
“Come December, I’ll be a dad.”
Nan leans over and grips the back of my neck. “Don’t let fatherhood scare you. Sure, it’s like riding a bull.”
“What? Petrifying and sure to lead to serious injury?”
“No, son.” A smile curls over her lips. “Well, okay. Maybe. You just gotta grab a hold of it and hang on, go with the flow. I’ll be a wild ride, but you’ll learn something new every day about being a parent, having a family. And I promise you you’ll learn to love like never before. You’ll have a little one who’ll depend upon you to care for them, to teach and to guide them through life.”
My eyes water at the thought of the responsibility, but it’s the depths of my affection for Liv that’s front of my mind. I care for her so much, would do anything for her, and that also goes for our child. My life will pale in comparison.
I sniff back. “I’ll need your help, you know.”
She winks. “No doubt. I’m the fount of all knowledge.”
I chuckle. “Yeah, you are.”
Her eyes glisten. “I wish Allan was here to share the news with.”
I reach over and place my hand over hers. “Me too.”
“And I understand your twin is expecting as well.” She winks.
“Yeah. Pretty cool.” Finn and I being passed off as twins was a necessary evil, or so my parents thought. Heaven forbid anyone found out I was the newborn abandoned on the steps of the Sugarloaf Bakery.
From when I was a small boy, Nan would hug me and whisper in my ear that I was her favourite, my style of joke-telling, famous for always forgetting the punchline and reminding her of my late grandfather, Allan. I was six years old when he passed, but I still remember his giant bear hugs, tickling me until tears sprang from my eyes, as well as the shiny gold eye-tooth that revealed itself every time he laughed.
Nan sighs and stares out the window for a while. I swallow hard at the thought of her mind switching back to the past, memories of her late husband triggering her.Will today be a repeat of her staring with empty eyes and demanding my removal?
“What do you know of the father of the child?” she finally asks.
My heart thumps harder at the mention of the man whose name is a mystery to me. “Not much.”
“She hasn’t talked about him?”
I shrug. “It was one night. One of Liv’s friends might know him. It might not be difficult to find him. I just think Liv doesn’t wanna go there. Complicate things.”
“And you think she should, right?”
She knows me too well. “Yeah.”
“Because you want the child to have all the facts. I’m guessing like you would’ve wanted when you were younger?”
I nod.
“Then you need to tell Liv how you feel. None of this mucho-hide-your-feelings bull crap. The number of times I wished your pa had talked to me, let me know what was goin’ on inside his head, it would’ve saved us a lot of yellin’ and harsh words.”
“I’ll talk to her this arvo. Cook her a meal and try not to screw things up more than I already have.”
“When you find out who he is, let me know.” She nods.
My brows pull tight.She’s still stuck on the father?“You wanna know his name? Why?”