Page 2 of Going Dark

She fills me in on the latest progress to their new home. I never thought I would see the day my Uncle wasn't in a city.

"Listen, I need to ask you a question. It's pretty embarrassing so I would appreciate it if you didn't tell Uncle Ivan about any of what I'm about to tell you." I hear him mumbling in the background asking her what I want. And the little turncoat yells, "Ace wants to ask me about a woman."

"You know I was nice to you when we first met and my Uncle was a dick to you. You remember, right." I remind her of the first time we met. When she was young and unsure of herself. Now my uncle makes her confident in herself. It could also have something to do with killing a man BUT that's another story for another time.

"Yes and now he gives me dick so you see where my loyalties lie." Jesus, he's also taught her how to trash talk. It's like talking to a female Ivan, which is trippy in and of itself.

"Fair enough. How did you know?"

"Well, you certainly wouldn't call me to say, build a bomb or assassinate someone. You know lots of people you can talk to about that and you would be asking for your Uncle and not me. So I just assumed because it embarrassed you it had to be about a girl. Who is it? Do we know her? Is she sweet? How did you meet her?"

"Jesus Kat, can you just slow down for a second. I just need to think for a second. Maybe rethink calling you."

She calls me a dirty name and tells me to move on and ask my questions.

"About five years ago I was hurt during a mission. It was rough and my plane went down I broke an arm and fractured a bunch of ribs but I got fucking lucky. This girl, I've known her for a little while, but this time she was being really...weird around me. Not like I was used to her being." I really got to walk on this path slowly because she has a direct line to my sister so if I tell her too much she is going to run right to Ana and Ana will know I am talking about Evie.

"So anyway while I was confined to my room this girl walks in and sits on the bed beside me and man she was beautiful too. The moon was coming in all around her and making her look like a fucking dream. An innocent dream at that and I'm laid up because I just killed a small nation or something you know."

"Yeah. Guilt for not being worthy of her. Let me just tell you no one does guilt like your uncle. That mother fucker can guilt himself into damn near cutting his own hand off."

I laugh out loud. Hearing her talk about him like this is funny as hell.

"So she comes to me and tells me that she's been in love with me for years and that she's ready to give me her...uh," damn, I really don't want to tell Kat about Evie's virginity. "Well the point is she wanted to give me all of her and I was fucking too young and scared to be nice to her. I didn't want to leave someone and die in another fucking country while she's over here having to grieve for me. I made a fucked up choice between her and my career and chose my career."

She puts her hand close to the speaker and lowers her voice, "Is this about the girl across the street?"

"God damn it!"

"You want to know if she still has a thing for you because now you don't have to choose any longer but you did choose and that isn't going to go away just because you're bored now and need to make a booty call."

"She's not a booty call, god damn it." I don't want to be mad at my aunt but I don't want anyone to talk about Evie like this either.

"Well, well. You do care for her. That's about the only thing you got going for you because a woman wants to be the most important thing in a man's life always and you really fucked the pooch." Silence falls on the line for just a second before she goes on. "I mean like right up the ass kind of fuck. With a stick."

"Gee, remind me not to come to you if I'm ever depressed about something."

"Oh, you mean like being a washed-up spy/Ops guy who doesn't have anyone or anything and lives in his momma's house and doesn't really know how to communicate like a normal person with anyone who isn’t covered in battle scars?"

"Yeah, something like that. You know you've been hanging around that damned Russian bastard for too long. You're about as salty as he is and you didn't even have to work for the prison record."

"Touché." Her laugh tinkles over the line.

"I don't want to give you false hope, Ace but I also will tell you that if the two of you love each other, I mean really love one another then nothing can keep you apart. Not time, or space, or circumstances. If she really loved you she never stopped. So don't hurt her a second time, okay. Women are strong and able to do some amazing stuff but we also love with all of us and when that love isn't given back bad things happen to us." Her voice is so strong and authoritative that I have no doubt about her expertise in this subject.

I talk to her a little more before hanging up. I heard what she was trying to tell me but all I care about is the part where she said if Evie loved me she still does because I know she loved me. And I intend to make up for all the time we lost because of my stupid ass.

2

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Evie

So last night shook me a little bit. Seeing him after so many years of trying to avoid him yet keep up to date on what he's up to was...crushing. I barely made it through my door before I allowed all of those years of unrequited love I had for him to come rushing back. And on the heels of that the disaster of a night when I let my stupid naïve heart lead me down the wrong path straight to his bedroom. I still die a little inside when I think of how innocent that nineteen-year-old girl was.

I make myself remember every second of the humiliation I felt when he all but threw me out of his room and told me to grow up. Funny thing is not long after that my mom got sick and I did grow up. I don't blame her being sick on what Alex said. I know he didn't cause the cancer that took her away from me. She had it even as I was making a fool of myself in front of the boy across the street; she just hadn't told me yet. She always wanted me to grow up and marry Alex. I think she and his mother dreamed about it for years, even before I saw him as something other than Ana's annoying older brother.

God, he used to get so mad at me for calling him Sasha. I had overheard his mother call him that once and asked why she did it. It was an affectionate nickname for his full name Alexander. But once I had said it and saw the reaction he was having from it I started using it all the time. I pause when my lips move up into a smile at the old memories from a long-ago time, a time before I did something stupid like try to fuck my best friend's brother.

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