Page 27 of Single Girl Rules #ThreeHeadedMonster

Hell no. I didn’t want my tits to shrivel up and die. I was on the meat and bread diet. But we didn’t need meat and bread for the scavenger hunt. We needed cucumbers. “Yup. But I admit…I’m a bit of a cheater. I always eat two.”

“Say no more. One cucumber is just not enough calories. I always try to buy the biggest ones.”

“The bigger the better. But still two, please.”

“You got it.” She ran off and returned a second later with two cucumbers.

“You’re a lifesaver.” I balanced all my goodies in my hands and started down the stairs.

“Wait,” said Jessica. “Aren’t you gonna put them on?” She gestured to the lingerie.

I shook my head. “You’ve already been such a help. I don’t want to impose any more than I already have. I’ll change outside.” I blew her a kiss and walked out the door. “Picture time!” I called to my team.

“What’d you say to her?” asked Chad.

“Just girl chat. Now, who’s gonna wear the thong and hold the cucumbers for this first picture? I totes would, but I’m not allowed to wear underwear in honor of General Orville Thunderstick III.” And even if I could, there was no way I’d be caught in this underwear. The tag said the entire set had only cost $300.

“I can’t hold the cucumbers,” whispered Scooter, holding up his six-foot walking stick.

“Me neither,” said Watermelon.

I tried to hand Ash a cucumber but she swatted it out of my hand. “You know I’m scared of those!”

“Hey, I had to work hard for that!” I picked it up off the sidewalk. She was lucky it hadn’t exploded.

I tucked the cucumbers under my arms to secure them as I held the lingerie out to Shakespeare.

He shook his head and opened to a page of his book. “The fault, dear Brutus, lies not within the thong, but in myself, that my underling is huge.”

I stared at him, trying to process what the hell he’d just said. It sounded like a quote from Act 1 of Julius Caesar, but… Ooooooh! “Are you trying to tell us that your dick is far too big for this thong?”

He nodded.

Interesting. It was a shame he was ugly. And kinda dumb, based on his lack of knowledge of Shakespeare.

“I won’t fit either,” said Chad.

“Sure you will, babe.” I tossed it to him.

“What about him?” He pointed to the last member of our team. The guy hadn’t said anything yet, so I had no idea what his mission was. Maybe he wasn’t allowed to talk?

“I’ll go next,” said the guy.

“Shouldn’t we like rock-paper-scissors for it?” asked Chad.

“No time,” I said. “Just put it on and let’s get a picture with this sorority dildo.” I tossed the thong to Chad and then tossed the rest of the set in the trash where it belonged.

He hid behind the trash can and slid into the lacy red thong.

“Well hot damn,” he said, proudly stepping out from behind the trash can. “Who knew I’d look so good in a thong?” He struck a muscleman pose.

We all laughed. Except for Ash, who let out a little scream. “Take it off!” she whisper-yelled.

“Wow, Ash,” I said. “Keep it in your pants. Chad is all mine.”

“I meant for him to change back! Not to get full nude.” She sounded frantic.

“Ignore the lace,” said Chad in his sexiest voice. “Just look at these abs.”

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