Page 28 of Single Girl Rules #ThreeHeadedMonster

Just then a cop blared its siren a few times and pulled up to us.

Oooh. So that was why Ash was so scared. Speaking of Ash…where was she? I spun around looking for her. It didn’t take long to spot her standing behind a tree that was no thicker than the dildo I was holding. But when she realized I could see her, she got down and started army

crawling along the grass to find a new hiding spot.

The cop got out of his car and approached Chad. “Good evening, sir. Can I see some ID please?”

“Sure. Can you hold this?” He handed a cucumber to the cop and backed over to his pile of clothes behind the trashcans, being careful not to moon the officer. Then he fished his wallet out of his pants and handed his ID over. The officer took it back to his squad car to search for outstanding warrants.

“I think you’re forgetting something, son,” whispered Scooter to Chad.

“Cowards die many times before their deaths,” said Shakespeare. “The valiant never taste of death but once.” He looked so pleased with himself for actually using a quote pretty well.

“Nah, I’m not scared to do my mission,” said Chad. “I’m just waiting for the right moment.”

“Better be,” said Watermelon. “Otherwise we’ll have to report you.”

The cop came back out and handed Chad his ID back. “Mr. Chadwick. Are you aware that public indecency is a crime?”

“Yes, Daddy,” said Chad.

The cop cleared his throat. “Did you just call me Daddy?”

“That depends. Do you want me to call you Daddy? Or are you gonna have to punish me?” He put his hands on the trashcan and presented his bare ass to the cop.

“I’m not with them!” screamed Ash as she took off running down the street.

Her instinct seemed pretty spot on. I was pretty sure Chad was totally fucked. And he’d never looked hotter. His penis may have fit in a women’s size small thong, but his balls must have been the size of fucking coconuts for him to talk to the cop like that.

There was a long pause as the cop processed everything he was seeing. And then he shook his head. “Sir, please accept my sincerest apology. I thought you were some douchey frat guy dressed like an idiot. But now I can see that you’re just being authentically you. And I’m so proud of you for that. Don’t ever let anyone tell you how you should dress just because of the equipment you were born with. And if any frat guys ever give you any trouble, don’t hesitate to give me a call.” He pulled out a business card and tucked it into Chad’s thong.

He started to drive off, but then he swung back around.

“Sorry,” he said. “Almost forgot to give you this.” He handed him the second cucumber back. “Word to the wise: don’t forget the lube. That cucumber is no joke.” He gave him a wink and sped off.

We all somehow kept straight faces until the cop turned the corner.

“Dude!” whispered scooter. “You’re a fucking legend!”

He really was. I thought for sure I was gonna have to show that cop my tits to get him to go away. But Chad had handled it like a total boss. And I was getting serious vibes that the cop wouldn’t have liked my tits anyway.

“Hell yeah!” Chad adjusted his grip on both cucumbers and put one leg up on the trashcan in front of the sorority. I posed next to him, pretending to suck on the giant dildo, and the rest of the guys got in the picture too.

Slavanka lifted the camera. “Say gulag!” She snapped a photo.

“Alright,” I said. “Onto location number 2!”

“Wait,” said Chad. “Shouldn’t we kill two birds with one stone and get a picture of a topless girl while we’re at the sorority?” He looked up at the building.

“I mean…we can kinda do that anywhere. But if you insist.” I tossed the dildo aside and pulled the top of my dress down.

Scooter gasped and pretended not to stare.

Watermelon moved his watermelon lower to cover his junk.

And Shakespeare said, “Those are such stuff as dreams are made on, and our little life is rounded with a sleep.”

“Was that about my tits?” I asked.

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