Page 17 of Single Girl Rules #ThreeHeadedMonster

“Okay…” Chad sat down and started eating his own hot dog.

Scooter shoved four hamburger patties into his mouth and washed it down with a protein shake. “What’d we miss?”

“Harvard just got a touchdown,” I said. “So now they’re only down by one score.”

“One score is 5 points?” asked Slavanka.

I turned to her. “Have you never watched football before?”

“We no have football. Only slap fight.”

“Slap fight?” I asked.

“Yes, yes. Slap fight. Drink vodka, then take turns slap. Loser is first one to fall over or cry like little bitch boy.” She pointed right at Chad when she said little bitch boy.

“Hey, why are you pointing at me?” asked Chad.

“Actually, I lie. One time we play soccer with Comrade Grigory head.”

“Is that really what you guys call a soccer ball?” asked Ash. “Kinda like we call a football a pig skin?”

“No, no. One time Comrade Grigory plant wrong crop. So he lose head.” She dragged her thumb across her neck. “Whole village play soccer and have much fun.” She looked so happy about the memory.

“I have so many questions,” said Chad. But he never got to ask them, because Harvard just recovered an onside kick. The whole stadium went nuts. The three headed monster had the ball again. All they had to do was drive down the field and score.

And then they could take me and my girls back to the locker room and have their way with us. I knew Ash hadn’t technically said yes yet, but her reaction to Flash’s bulge had said it all.

I still had to get their attention, though.

Flashing them would be the easiest way, of course. But I didn’t want Chad to get mad and embarrass himself in front of the coolest guys on campus. No…I needed a more subtle way to get their attention. I took a bite of my hot dog while I thought about a solution.

And then it hit me.

The hot dogs!

I waited for a cameraman to be looking in our general direction, and then I grabbed a hotdog in each of my fists and licked them seductively.

“Oh my God!” said Ash, pointing up at the scoreboard. “We’re on the jumbotron! Do I have food on my face? Oh no…” She stared dabbing her completely clean face with a napkin.

I shoved one of the hotdogs into my mouth, inch by inch, until it was jammed into my throat. And then slapped my face with the other.

A whistle blew.

“Delay of game, offense, #9,” announced the ref.

“Damn it, Adonis!” yelled Harvard’s coach. “Quit checking out the fans!”

I smiled to myself. Mission accomplished. Not only had Adonis noticed me, but he’d been so distracted by my little performance that he’d totally forgotten about the game.

Adonis. He was the third head of the three headed monster. And probably the hottest. He was 6’6 of pure muscle. But it wasn’t just his body that made people refer to him as a god amongst boys. What really earned him that nickname was that he was always one step ahead of the defense. He was just smarter than everyone else on the field. He was basically the male version of me.

Except when he was being distracted by me.

There were only 5 seconds left in the game. Enough time for one play. And they were still about 60 yards away from scoring.

So I stopped eating my hotdogs seductively and let him focus.

Adonis dropped back to pass. I thought he was gonna get sacked, but he stiff-armed the defender right in the face. I almost felt bad for the defender. But not really…because all I could think about was how fun

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