Page 26 of Single Girl Rules #ThreeHeadedMonster

He pulled four tickets out of his pocket and fanned them out. “I’ve got four tickets to the biggest badminton match of the season. And if you play your cards right, they could be yours. Wanna know how?”

“No.”

“To win, you just have to guess how big my cock is. I’ll even give you three guesses. But you have to submit your guesses in the form of two cucumbers and a dildo. Oh, and I need one of your thongs too. As a way to remember who guessed what.”

She slapped him and slammed the door shut.

“How’d it go?” I called to him.

He shook his head. “The girls here hate fun. Let’s try a different sorority.”

“Mind if I try?”

“Be my guest. But you’re wasting your time. If I can’t charm them, no one can.”

Being charming was different than being pervy. My insignificant other sometimes acted so basic. I switched spots with Chad and rang the doorbell.

The same girl answered.

“Hey,” I said. “I need your help.”

“Oh God. Please tell me that pervert hasn’t taken the streets to try to give out his lame badminton tickets.”

I laughed. “What? No. I was just looking for…Jessica.”

“Oh, okay. One sec.” She ran off and started yelling for Jessica. It had been a bit of a gamble, but in high school I’d had at least 3 Jessicas in every class. There had to be at least one in this sorority. And apparently there was, because Jessica had just come to the door. Hopefully that other girl hadn’t warned her about the badminton pervert looking for cucumbers and thongs.

“Hey, girl,” I said. “I hate to bother you like this, but I was just out with my boyfriend at a party. We snuck up to a room to bang, and we were really going at it. But then his friends burst in and stole my thong and ran away. I threw my dress on and chased them all the way down the street, but they were too quick. So now here I am, standing in the middle of the city in the world’s shortest dress with no panties on.” I tugged on the hem of my dress, pretending to be uncomfortable about it. “Think you can help a girl out?”

“Wow,” she said. “Guys can be such assholes. Come on in. I’m sure I can find you something.” She took me up to her room and started rifling through some drawers. “How about some sweats?”

“I’d really prefer underwear. I don’t want to do a walk of shame in sweats and this dress.”

She snapped her fingers. “I have just the thing!” She went to a different drawer and pulled out a lacy red lingerie set with the tags still on. It looked hella cheap. “My ex-boyfriend got me this for Christmas. I was gonna wear it for him, but then he cheated on me.”

“Aw, I’m sorry.”

“Like I said, guys can be such assholes.” She handed me the lingerie.

“I wish there was something we could to do get back at them. Like…what would my boyfriend do if I sent him a picture of me sucking a dick?”

“Oh my God. That would be epic.”

“Have any realistic looking dildos?”

“Uh…” Jessica blushed.

“Girl, don’t be ashamed. The bigger the better. I want to show him what a real man looks like.”

She opened her desk drawer and pulled out an absolutely massive veiny black dildo.

“Oh, hell yeah!” I grabbed it from her. The thickness of it immediately conjured memories of last night at the banana party. It also made me wonder… Is Adonis this big? If all went according to plan, I’d find out soon enough. “My boyfriend is gonna flip when he gets a picture of my lips wrapped around this thing.”

“You might wanna wash it first…”

“Good idea. Also…do you have any cucumbers? I’m so hungry for some dinner.”

“Oh my God! You’re on the cucumber diet too?”

---