“I just told you.”
“Try again.”
I ran my fingers through my hair.
“Maybe it’s not stress or anger. Maybe it’s something else entirely.”
I shook my head.
“I think you’re scared, James. Scared of losing that beautiful wife of yours.”
I shook my head again and pulled the rings out of my pocket. “I’m worried I already lost her.” I turned the rings over in my palm.
“She gave those back to you?”
“No. The doctors took them off during her surgery. I’ve wanted to give them back to her. But at first she didn’t remember who I was. And now…now she does.”
“You’re nervous. To propose a second time to your wife. Why? She already said yes.”
“She was too young to know better. She’s had years more experience now. She’s lived with me. She’s seen my ups and downs. She knows better now. And she hasn’t made one hint that she wants them back. What if she doesn’t want them back?”
“That woman in here that I saw? The one that talked to me on the phone for nearly an hour, begging me to come here to see you? That woman loves you, James.” He lifted up his stethoscope and pressed it against my chest. “There. Now that’s the deep breath I’ve been waiting for.”
I laughed. Did this lunatic actually just help me?
“I don’t think you believed me when I said it earlier, but karma really doesn’t exist. We control what happens in our lives.”
“I’m a believer in fate.” Penny was such a believer in it that she had made me a believer too. “Karma. Fate. They must all be aligned somehow.” I slid the rings back into my pocket.
“Oh, the fates are real. But karma shmarma. It’s nonsensical. And you remember it.” He patted the gel on my chest. “A few more days of this relaxed breathing and you’ll be as good as new. I’ll stay till the end of the week to monitor your progress. Free of charge because you’ve already paid me much more than a week’s s
alary. But stick to this and there will be no issues. And certainly no surgery.”
“Thank you.” My words didn’t feel like enough. This man had just told me what I needed to do to get my life back. I owed him everything.
“Here, let me clean you up.” He grabbed a towel and ran it down my chest. “Oh my, what big abs you have.”
I laughed.
“I’ll fix your heart and you can show me how to get abs of steel. I can cut my beard if I have muscles like those to show off.” He patted his beer belly.
“Deal, Dr. Young.”
He grinned. “Call me Gooch. All my friends do.”
“Gooch?”
“Yup. Like Gucci but oh so much less extra.” He patted my cheek. “And I have no idea why. My first name is Simon. I’ll see you tomorrow.” He winked at me and left me alone in the exam room.
I slid off the table, wondering if all of that had been a strange dream. I grabbed my shirt off the floor and pulled it over my head. Breathe in. Breathe out. I needed two days to make sure my heart was healed up. Two days of no stress. I walked out of the room and wandered toward the NICU.
I wasn’t sure how I was going to handle our meeting with Dr. Hughes. And I needed to talk to Penny about her surgery. I needed her to know that I was fine with the size of our family. But if she wanted it to grow, that there were other options besides having biological kids of our own. We’d figure something out together.
And as soon as I got the all clear from Dr. Young, I’d propose again. Until then, I couldn’t think about it. I just needed to focus on breathing. I opened up the door of the NICU and stopped by my son. I got down close to the glass. “Hey, little dude. How are you feeling today?” He was sleeping peacefully.
“Did you want to hold him?”
I shook my head. “I don’t want to disturb him while he’s sleeping. Have you seen my wife?”