Page 88 of A Whirlwind of Color (The Light to My Darkness 2)

I opened up the front door. Ian was standing outside talking on his cell phone.

“Oh, Jen, I have to go, Penny just walked out. Mhm, I will. Take a deep breath, it’s going to be fine. I love you too.” He hung up the phone. “Jen says hi.”

“James’ sister, right? And your fiancée?”

He smiled as he slid his cell phone back into his pocket. “You’re remembering things now. So, um…what are you doing out here?”

“Actually I was hoping to go for a walk and I was told I needed someone to accompany me. But you’re busy. Maybe Briggs or Porter could come? Or…” my voice trailed off trying to remember all the names. “Or William?”

“I’d be happy to go with you, Penny.”

“But your phone call…”

“Everything with Jen is an emergency. Our wedding isn’t very soon. A flower arrangement disaster isn’t even a thing this far out. She’ll be fine.” He walked over toward the elevator.

I laughed. “What exactly is a flower arrangement disaster?”

“I don’t know. I may have been holding the phone away from my ear.” He smiled, even though we both knew it wasn’t true. He had been listening to every word, crazy or not. I could tell he loved her.

“What made you realize you wanted to get married?” I asked as we stepped onto the elevator.

“Well, a number of things really. I liked Jen for far longer than I’d like to admit. Really since the first time I met her.” He smiled. “I hadn’t been working for James long and he asked if I’d pick her up at the airport. She’s just so full of life. And beautiful. And smart.”

We walked through the lobby and out the front doors as I thought about what he had said. He made it seem like it was love at first sight. Was that what James and I'd had? The first few chapters of my manuscript sure made it seem like we had.

“Are we friends?” I asked.

“You and me? Or you and Jen?”

“I was asking about you and me. But now I’m curious about both.”

He smiled. “Well, yes to both.”

“Can I ask you something then?” There was still something nagging me about the note in my pocket. What James said made sense. But what if he was wrong? What if I was unstable? And depressed. And lonely. If I could get out ahead of it, maybe I could fix it. I was growing attached to this life. I didn’t want for it to end.

“Of course.”

“Do you think I was unhappy before I lost my memory?”

“I believe you were happy.”

“There isn’t anything that seemed off about me? Anything at all to indicate that I wasn’t?”

It looked like he was deep in thought as we entered Central Park. “Do you want my honest opinion? As a friend?”

“Yes.”

“I think you’ve always struggled a little with self-confidence. You felt lucky that James fell for you and you have a hard time understanding why he’s lucky too.”

I sighed. “That sounds like me. It’s kind of how I feel right now. I mean…what is he doing with someone like me? He could have anyone…”

“He loves you, Penny. And you have no reason to doubt your self-worth. You’re smart and funny and kind. He’s lucky to have you. And he knows it. You just have to acce

pt that.”

The note hadn’t felt like I didn’t understand James’ love. Maybe I did feel worthy of him. Maybe I had finally realized that we were both lucky, instead of just me. James could have been right about everything. The letter was just an unfortunate coincidence.

Ian’s phone started buzzing. “Hey, Jen,” he said. “I’m working right now. I’ll have to call you back…” He paused. “We can find a new florist…” Another pause. “Babe, it’s late. We can look tomorrow.”

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