Page 51 of A Whirlwind of Color (The Light to My Darkness 2)

“Whoa, are you okay?” Brendan put his hands on my waist to steady me. “Take it easy.”

I placed my hand down on the table so I could support myself. I hoped I wasn’t about to be sick. My stomach felt like it was spinning as much as the floor.

“Are you alright?” Brendan asked.

I shook my head.

“Penny!” someone yelled.

It was like I could still hear James’ voice in my head. Why couldn’t I stop thinking about him? First the dream, now this? I needed to forget about him like I was asking him to forget about me.

“Penny!” someone yelled again.

Brendan removed his hands from my hips and I almost fell over.

I smelled James before I saw him. The comforting smell of his cologne washed over me. And then his strong arms wrapped around me, cocooning me in warmth. And I didn’t know why, but it felt like I was finally home. The thought made tears prick the corners of my eyes.

“Baby.” His breath tickled my skin as he nuzzled his face into the side of my neck. “I thought I lost you.” The tip of his nose grazed my skin. “I thought I lost you,” he said again. And then his lips grazed my skin, setting my body on fire. His fingers pressed into the small of my back, drawing me even closer to him. It was like I was living my dream. He breathed me in like I was the only sustenance he needed.

It felt wonderful. And perfect. And wrong. So so wrong. His distress wasn’t for me. His kisses weren’t for me. His touch wasn’t for me. My stomach rolled. “James.” I hated that my voice came out airy and needy.

He held me even tighter, which was comforting, but at the same time it squeezed my stomach.

I pulled away from him just as everything I had eaten decided to make a reappearance. All over his shoes. God.

I had the faintest recollection that he was wearing a pair of sneakers instead of dress shoes. He was also wearing jeans and a zip-up hoodie. It was like he had transformed into the non-serious man of my dreams. And he didn’t even flinch when I vomited all over his shoes. He just rubbed his hand on my back.

“It’s okay, Penny. I’m here. I’m here now and everything’s going to be okay.”

I believed him. Or at least, I wanted to believe him. But my stomach didn’t. I hunched over and threw up again until my stomach was as empty as my heart. He wouldn’t be looking at me the same way once I told him I couldn’t have children. Those words would erase everything we ever had. It was an easy out. But I wanted him to hold me just a little longer. I wanted him to kiss the side of my neck again. I wanted him to breathe me in like I was the air that filled his lungs. Just one last time so I could ingrain it in my memory. Being loved seemed like a wonderful thing. Maybe one day I’d find out what loving someone felt like.

Chapter 20

Sunday

"You said you were tired of hearing everyone talking about the same people in their lives. You said to think outside the box. That's what I did. This," I held the paper up again, "is bullshit, Professor Hunter."

"Please take a seat," he replied calmly.

I ignored him and walked behind his desk so that I was right next to him. I picked up the paper and quoted him: "You failed to harness your audiences' attention. I wa

s one of the last people to go, and I still made them laugh!"

"Penny..."

"It was unclear what your point was," I quoted him again. "My point was that I choose who gets a chance at inspiring me. I said that several times, Professor Hunter. Maybe you weren't listening."

"Penny..."

"And this C- used to be an A. I can see it through the whiteout. You changed my grade. You changed it because you overheard Tyler say that the speech was about him. Well it wasn't about him. It was about you." I poked him hard in the middle of his chest. "I don't know why I ever let you kiss me. Is this a game to you, Professor Hunter?"

He drew closer to me. He looked so angry. "Penny, I'm fully aware that this isn't a game. This is my career that we're talking about."

"And this is my G.P.A." I crinkled the paper in my fist and threw it on the ground. My heart was beating fast. He was glaring down at me from under his thick eyebrows. The hunger in his eyes was a temptation I could no longer resist. I had been lying to myself this whole time. I wasn't a good girl. I was bad. And boldness suddenly came easily to me.

I reached up behind his neck and pulled his head down. Without hesitation, he tilted his head the rest of the way down and kissed me deeply. When our lips touched my whole body tingled. He placed his hands on my back and slowly let them drift to my ass. I loved his hands on me. He squeezed my ass hard and lifted me up. I wrapped my legs around him as he shoved my back against the adjacent wall. He buried his face in my neck and let his lips trace my collarbone. It sent shivers down my spine. I slid my fingers through his thick hair.

He lifted his head. "I told you to stop thinking about me." His breathing was heavy. He pressed his body even more firmly against mine.

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