Page 52 of A Whirlwind of Color (The Light to My Darkness 2)

"I can't possibly."

"You're infuriating, Penny," he whispered into my ear.

"Then punish me, Professor Hunter."

I sat up in bed, panting. Ow. It felt like my head was going to explode. I lifted my hand to my forehead and unceremoniously slapped myself in the face. Ow. I leaned forward, resting my forehead against my knees. Another dream. I knew that’s all it was. Because I couldn’t remember anything before or after it. James had told me he was my professor. So I had a professorly dream. A really amazing dream. I squeezed my eyes shut. But it felt so real. Like if I reached out, I’d be sitting on the edge of his desk instead of a bed.

A bed. My eyes flew open. Where the hell was I? I scrambled off the mattress, ignoring my pounding headache. As soon as my feet hit the ground, everything came back in a rush. James’ shoes. God, I had thrown up all over his shoes.

I turned around in the bedroom. It had the same light gray walls and hardwood floors as Brendan’s apartment. Fingers crossed I was still there. I wandered out of the bedroom and knew immediately that I wasn’t in Brendan’s apartment anymore.

James was standing at the kitchen counter with his back turned toward me. He was wearing the same jeans from yesterday and a fresh t-shirt. His cell phone was balanced between his shoulder and ear.

I felt like I could still taste his lips from my dream. Still smell his cologne. Still feel his hardness pressed against me. Stop. What the hell was I doing? My dreams were mixing with my reality, messing with my head. I didn’t know James. My reaction to him wasn’t real. It was just a fantasy. It meant nothing.

“I’ll be back tonight, okay?” he said into the phone as he pulled out something from the toaster oven. He waved his hand in the air like he had just burned himself. “I know. Everything’s going to go back to normal soon, I promise. But I have to go, pumpkin.”

Pumpkin? I immediately swallowed down my jealousy. I was glad he had someone else in his life. It’s what I wanted. I hoped that he’d get back together with his ex-wife. Was that who he was talking to? I wondered if their talks had been going on longer than I was injured. Maybe he was cheating on me. But I didn’t believe the thought. He didn’t look at me like he wanted someone else. He looked at me like I was his whole world. Not that I knew from experience what that look was. It was possible that I had it all wrong. Maybe he wished I had died.

“I love you too,” he said into the phone. “Be good okay?” He laughed at something that was said on the other end. “Then tell Soph I say hi too. I’ll see you both later.” He hung up the phone and ran his hand through his hair, like the secret he was hiding was excruciating. He didn’t need to feel bad. I kind of hoped he was cheating on me. It would make all of this so much easier.

“Pumpkin?” I asked.

He turned around. “No…that…”

“It’s okay. Really.” I shrugged my shoulders.

“It was just…Rob.” He sounded so much more tense than he just had on the phone. Whoever was on the other line made him much happier than I did.

It was true, I didn’t know him, but I could still tell he was lying. Obviously. “You call your brother Pumpkin? That seems highly unlikely.”

He pressed his lips together.

I broke eye contact with him and my gaze landed on his bare feet. “I’m sorry about your shoes.”

“I don’t care about my shoes. I’m just glad you’re safe.”

“Yeah.” I folded my arms in front of my chest. “You didn’t have to come.”

He just stared at me.

“Where’s Brendan?”

“In his own apartment.” His words came out harsh.

I hugged my arms tighter against my chest. “You don’t have to be mad at him. He didn’t do anything wrong.” I was messing everything up. I didn’t want to make his life worse by screwing up his friendships too.

“You were with him all afternoon and he didn’t call me. I have a right to be pissed.”

“At me. Not him.”

“I’m not upset with you.”

“Well, you should be, James. I was the one that left. I was the one that didn’t want to call you. I was the one that wrote the note, which I’m sorry about by the way. For some reason, I didn’t think through how it would look. But regardless, you should be upset with me, not Brendan.”

“I’m trying my best…”

“I’m not asking for your best. I’m asking you to be real. If you’re mad at me, tell me. If you want to yell at me, yell at me. Don’t take it out on someone else…”

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