Page 104 of The Light to My Darkness (The Light to My Darkness 1)

He flinched, but I found no joy in it.

"We have a daughter. She was pregnant with our second child." She has me. "She didn't try to kill herself. You'll be hearing from my new lawyer about this slander."

"No lawsuit is going to fix this, James. Go be with your family in their time of need."

"Their need?" My voice cracked. I walked over to the door so I wouldn't strangle him. "It's my need. She's my wife." She's my everything. "Go fuck yourself." I slammed the door to his office as I walked out.

The receptionist looked up at me. "Mr. Hunter," she said, "your brother has called for you several times..."

But I was already out the door. The city air was stale. Their need? It felt like my heart was slamming against my ribcage. My eyes landed on a bar down the street.

I felt the familiar twitch, and immediately turned away from it. Alcohol wasn't going to fix this. Nothing could fill this void. I put my hands on my knees. Fuck, I couldn't breathe.

A car screeched to a halt in front of me.

"Jesus, there you are," my dad said as he stepped out. "Get in the car, James."

I shook my head, my hands still on my knees. "I can't."

"Penny's parents just arrived at the hospital. How do you think that looks? You not being there?"

"I don't care how it looks." I stood up, my eyes wandering back to the bar. Twitch.

"I didn't raise you..."

"You didn't raise me at all!" My blood was boiling. I was slowly slipping into the darkness. "You don't get to suddenly show up in my life and pretend you've been a father to me for the past thirty years. You're a fucking hypocrite."

>

"You're hurting. I understand that," he said through a clenched jaw. "But this isn't about me being a shitty dad. This is about you being one."

I laughed and ran my hands through my hair. "Give me a break. I'm nothing like you."

"Your daughter is terrified. She needs you to comfort her."

"She's fine. Rob's there. Ellen's there."

"She needs you, James! What don't you understand about that?"

I shook my head.

"Get in the car."

"I can't." I looked longingly at the bar down the street.

"You have to."

"I can't! I can't look at her. She's the spitting image of Penny. I can't." The sob in my throat escaped. I put the back of my hand against my mouth, trying to hide the pain on my face.

And my dad did something I don't remember him ever doing. He hugged me. And then I did something I don't think I had ever done. I cried on my dad's shoulder.

"What if I lose her, Dad?"

"Then you'll grieve for however long it takes. But then you keep living this life that you two created together. Because you have a family now. It's more than just you and your feelings."

I shook my head. "You don't understand. I'm not...I can't do it without her. How am I supposed to raise a kid without her?"

"Kids."

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